I did a bad thing. Lets just say I found out that my husband has fetishes that he never told me about. We have been together for four years. I already feel guilty on how I found out by doing some investigating where I shouldn't have. The thing is, it doesn't bother me if he looks at porn. He's a guy. That's what they do. I am very understanding and open minded when it comes to sex. I always was and he knows it. I'm guessing he is embarassed.. I don't know. But his fetishes are girls feet and hypnosex (I think that's what they call it). I don't understand the hypno thing so I looked it up and see that he watches videos of girls getting hypnotized and being told what to do. I don't see how this gets him off. If you can explain it to me, please do. I think he also watches hypnotists that hypnotize him as well. Not sure what you call them.. I wish that he told me this stuff because I would do these things with him. For fun. Why not? If he is into it... But maybe I'm not enough for him. Maybe I don't please him the way that he likes so he does things secretly? Ever since I found out, I can't sleep, I can't eat and I feel guilty about knowing about this.
I'm don't want to embarass him and tell him I know. Our sex life is "okay" since he doesn't like to try new things with me.. And that is one of the things that gets me furious about this situation. I have had many conversations with him before about sex by asking him what he likes... His answer always is "going down on me". (Which I love) but that's about it. I don't know how to get him to open up to me without him knowing that I know about this. Maybe he won't ever open up to me.. Why? Is this healthy to keep your fetishes to yourself when your married?
Should I just keep this to myself and try not to think about it. What should I do? This is really eating me up inside.
I totally think you should talk to him. Tell him exactly what you said here, that you know you shouldn't have looked and are sorry you did, AND that what you saw that he likes is something you have a willingness to do with him if he would like that.
Let us know how it goes!
it really depends on how much this fetish affects you. It terms of fetishes for guys, these two really arent that bad. Also remember that just because you saw these couple of hits on his history does actually mean this is what he is into.
Guys, watch porn in phases, so what he is into now, could be out next month or two.
If you are ok with these, I would suprise him with a video featuring one of these and then say you want to experience with him.
That could strike things in the right direction for you guys.
First off, you sound awesome! He is very lucky to have you as a partner, whether he knows it or not.
I think you're barking up the right tree when you say you've tried to steer things in that direction but so far, have been unsuccessful. I'd go even further and ask him things like, do you have any "off the wall" fetishes or things you'd like to try in the bedroom. At the same time reminding him that you're willing to try almost anything once, at least. Who knows, you might really like it. So, what do say big boy? I wonder if he'd come clean with you. If that doesn't work, I'd go with the other suggestion from another poster to just come out and admit you bumped into it on his computer. Honest mistake (it was, wasn't it?).
Good Luck and even though I think it's OK for married couples to keep a few things to themselves, this sounds like something that possibly both of you could enjoy. Life is just too short to not lay it out there - Go for it.