| | New Husband Withholding Intimacy
I just got married about four months ago. We had had some intimacy problems before, but I guess I chalked them up to stress and some of our fighting. I am in a stressful doctorate program and we had to move twice for an internship I had this last summer. But after we got married, the issue got worse. At this time, we have not been intimate for almost three months. He says I don't try, but there have been times when I say I want to and he will say he is tired or "my attitude is bad." So obviously I feel rejected and start to cry and he says that I need to try harder and I am not wearing the right things to bed and that I need to "step up." I told him that I need to see him try harder too, but he says he will and nothing changes. The last time we were intimate, he barely would kiss me and kept saying I was doing everything wrong. It was very awkward. He tells me he loves me and that he wants to be intimate with me but his actions tell me the opposite. I am so frustrated at this point and have built up so much anger and resentment that I don't know if I can even get through the rest of the year with him. Our delayed honeymoon is coming up in two weeks and I am dreading it because I have a feeling that he will continue to reject me and I really can't take any more rejection. I have told him that I can't take any more but he continues to do it. As far as I can tell he isn't gay, and we had a normal sex life when we first started dating, but he has always had a low sex drive. I just feel that he isn't holding up his side of the bargain and being a loving husband. I feel like we are roommates. He'll reject me in bed and then get mad at me when I get upset and go sleep in the other room. He doesn't get that I can't sleep next to him after he does that. I have been fantasizing about leaving him and thinking about how much happier I would be if this wasn't on my mind all the time. During the day, we get along for the most part but I have never been this unhappy. But I will feel like a failure if I can't even stay married for longer than a year. I just don't know what to do. I would try wearing something "sexy," but I am afraid that he will just make me feel stupid.