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Old 01-28-2013, 09:54 AM   #1
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jen757 HB User
lets talk about sex!

hello all,
well i am posting here about the issue of sex lol!!

I guess i just need to talk about it, I had a baby less then 11 weeks ago and things are different in the private department it definitely takes time to recover anyways my husband and i tried to do the do and it was pretty crap haha it just made me feel pretty annoyed and spurred me to think about our sex life in general.

Our sex life is good i mean i enjoy sex with my partner obviously but i have never orgasmed with him or any other man which dissapoints me as i would love to be able to share that with my husband but for me it doesnt happen, I have come close on one or two possibly 3 occassions we have been together nearly 8 years, the other times we have sex i do enjoy the closeness but at the end i sometimes feel somewhat disappointed.

I want to work on our sexual life as soon as I feel ready, I just feel a bit down about it at the moment because it feels like something is wrong with your relationship when your worrying which i always am haha...

I am just wondering how everyone else feels.

Last edited by jen757; 01-28-2013 at 02:30 PM.

 
Old 01-29-2013, 11:49 AM   #2
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Re: lets talk about sex!

Hi, I think I know how you feel, I have had two children and after childbirth it does n't feel quite the same as before, I personally don't fell as "tight" as I once did, although my partner says it feels no different to him.

I also believe that the majority of women find it difficult to orgasam whilst having penetrative sex with their partner, lets face it most of the time (no matter how much we love them) they just don't cut the mustard, whether it is due to his love making skills of our anatomy, who can really be sure?

Of course (and I am sure you don't need me to tell you) there are plenty of other ways he can help you to orgasam without penetrative sex, and this can help you to feel closer as a couple.

Don't be in too much of a rush to resume you sex life, having a baby is very hard on your body and you need to be sure you are fully healed both mentally and physically before you take up where you left off.

The important thing is that you have a close loving realtionship, and at the end of the day...is n't that what we are all searching for?

 
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Old 01-30-2013, 02:42 PM   #3
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Re: lets talk about sex!

definitely i agree, very true, i think having a baby is such an amazing gift and the biggest blessing i have ever received in my life after meeting my partner, it takes time for sure to heal mentally as well as physically your so right, thank you for your input..xx

 
Old 02-07-2013, 02:22 AM   #4
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Re: lets talk about sex!

Hi ladies,

I know that every woman is unique, so does with what-she-wants. But nonetheless they love if the man would be able to provide the love as a whole package. Many, details, each deed from pre-sex until after-sex, continously, and full of surprises.
Pre-sex is not limited by only when foreplay starts, it could be more back-steps reminder from the past of several or plenty love treatments from her mate. Hence, if he's a good listener along with a good cuddler after sex, that means plenty for her sex-life.

Again, a woman is unique. :-)

Hence, if a woman with babies, now that's more unique. The sex life becomes challenging, but like a two-edged sword, it could be also fading. Supposed if one side begins to feel it's just a boring routinity, or the sex becomes much more less then it did. Challenge in here could be arranged carefully if they know how to plan the sexual rite properly, and learn to adapt what could be the cause.

1. Insecurity of another pregnancy.
Most woman would feel it, furthermore if the woman scales on how their financial capability against the cost of bearing for another second/third baby. Indeed, if the condom is the barrier most of time, then (imho) spiral is a solution. But remember it should be controlled. I don't like pills, because if I ain't certain about the spiral when ovulation period, the spiral may be helped with condom. With additional Security, I think she would accept that. Even though, there is a chance, but it's degraded to minimum state.
She feels safe. :-)

2. Insecurity of losing environmental sensation.
For teenagers, well, you know well that by yourself.
Just married, furthermore if he/she's virgin. It owns its sensation.

There is one condition may ruin the relationship, if the couple did not carefully become critical parents and be ready to accept such new environment. Which is after the baby comes out.
Sorry, this is not my manifestation, but some husbands who -think- his small honey is the barrier. Due to he -concluded- himself, of why his wife been several times rejecting his wanting of sex while still bearing the infant. This type thinks that woman is the same with his body, which is be ready anytime, after healing from surgery/cesarian, or after having several periods. He thinks the life after infant, is just like they're just married.

But he missed something, he did not share the same responsibility in taking care of the infant. Most wives would have such feeling, she's been expecting her hubby to lend him a help, to fulfill what her empathy's needs of that. But telling her hubby -to do that-, definitely is not her nature.

Well, as a conclusion, some wives would accept and be patience for awhile, but in the end it may lead her to emotional exhausting and sex may become a boring routinity. She accepts the sex is merely for showing the responsibility of a wife to pleasure her man, even though her empathy several times tries to knock him off. :-)
The rest may struggle not for long, a need to be listened to, a sharing responsibility -without being asked for-, in which may put the relationship into a dead end. Resembling an egg at the end of a thorn.

Actually, it's a cause-effect mutualism. If a man willingly to beat or fight back his tiredness/laziness/or "seeking emptiness". Even though it's very tiring, been there done that, but a tiny help is a good cure for her exhausting empathy. Just take a tiny/small deed, she would feel better. This is the key. The rest is when the man's mood is returning well, along with his stakina rejuvenated back again, then he may continue from that first tiny "willingly" step to lend her a help with easier. Rather than not at all, it means more minus more deeply down to search for the start line, and it's dark yet not easy.

If she's treated frequently like that, I assure you, the sex may be easily be prepared. But don't expect in current night/day, seek for another day with a good timing and under man's good mood condition.

The last environment would be -how challenging is- when have sex near the sleeping infant. Lol, as long as it's not bothering him/her too much. It has its own sensation. I guarantee you for that. Of course, it does not valid for a kid who has a better curiosity or sense, because it's more risky.:-)

3. Last but not the least. The Cuddling part.
This is the biggest problem for most men, who forgot what she also wants after sex session, the cuddling. Actually, like above one, it doesn't take ages for cuddling. He did well when she was his girlfriend, or at when just married. But lately years of marriage, it's hard to maintain such important sexual rite.

Most hubby would start to sleep, worst if face the back against her.
Some will become a remote-control seekers. Lol. :-)
Some will go for smokes, alcohol, computer/ipad, etc but by alone.
It's still do good if watching TV while cuddling/hugging her, but smokes while cuddling? A no no, except she doesn't matter. Even though I don't suggest for that, but it's part of that smokers-couple's life. It's their risk.

It's random for each woman, so you should consult to what she prefers after sex. But most I do believe won't reject for the cuddling. The reason in here is, she feels safe, she feels very wanted even though she knew that her man already got what he wants. Yet, cuddling resembles the preparation step for future sexual occurence.

Sorry for the length, I hope this helps.
God blesses you all, as always.

Last edited by aowshea; 02-07-2013 at 02:34 AM.

 
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