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Old 05-12-2013, 08:35 PM   #1
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Uncomfortable Sex

Hello!

I have been sexually active for 6 years now. I've only had sex with a few men, & am currently in a relationship of almost 2 years. I have never been able to orgasm during sex, which I have accepted. However, I can't seem to handle sex for over 10-15 minutes. Intercourse begins to feel uncomfortable, kind of like I am super dry inside my vagina, when really I don't think I am. When it becomes uncomfortable I want to stop because my sex drive is gone by then and I just don't want to make it worse. It has nothing to do with penis size, I'll be honest, my bf now has a very short penis(not trying to be mean, just stating the truth). I am not exactly sure why this happens to me and it becomes frustrating because he feels like he is the problem but he's not. I get frustrated because I want to experience long, pleasurable sex, but am unable to do so.

 
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Old 05-12-2013, 08:56 PM   #2
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Re: Uncomfortable Sex

Lubrication can dry up during intercourse which causes irritation and pain from friction.
I would first try using a water soluble personal lubricant before sex and reapply as needed. I think that will help.

 
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Old 05-12-2013, 09:08 PM   #3
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Re: Uncomfortable Sex

okay, thank you!!

 
Old 05-16-2013, 07:15 AM   #4
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Re: Uncomfortable Sex

Hi samteri...Two things may help you here hun....as ladybud said already, lubrication will help you a lot - the little pump action bottles you can buy in the pharmacy or KY Jelly, but also...and more crucially this will make a BIG difference to you, is lots of foreplay BEFORE you have sex.

This is so important, and I sympathise with you a lot. I've been seeing a guy for 4 years now, and though not together (he lives in Spain, myself in England) when we are together we have a very healthy sex life (probably because we are apart a lot so rarely with one another) The big issue for me has always been that he mostly misses out foreplay altogether, and goes straight in for the full sex, which for me is no good at all, as like you, it is VERY uncomfortable for me, and quite sore. The key is to have adequate build up to sex - lots of kissing, touching, playing with each others bodies, as it is being AROUSED first which will help when penetration occurs, as your natural lubrication will be present. Perhaps then, when sex is initiated and during sex, you will already be more and more aroused from the good foreplay at the start, so things can go a little longer for you and reduce the soreness.

I am still trying to educate my guy about this, as he is still pretty trigger happy when it comes to having sex. It's really crucial for a woman to have good lubrication, unlike men who need nothing at all!

On the subject of orgasms, I was never able to reach orgasm up until a couple of days ago, when FINALLY it happened. Don't worry about your inability to orgasm, as the vast majority of women can't orgasm during penetrative sex, as the clitoris is not stimulated. Guys seem to think all they need to do is pump hard and it will happen, but they are very mistaken. Our anatomy doesn't work that way!

What does work is stimulation of the clitoris during sex. This is how I was able to reach orgasm, and let me tell you, it felt wonderful, and I was so happy to achieve it without the only way i usually can, which is a vibrator! It made it all the better to share it with the person I care about, and have them bring me to that point, so I can totally feel your frustration about that. My boyfriend was as shocked as me when it happened!

So to summarise: LOTS of foreplay before sex will increase your wetness/lubrication making sex more comfortable. If not, you can use the bottled lubricants, and thirdly, ask your boyfriend to change his technique a little and add in some clitoral stimulation to encourage your orgasm......it REALLY does work.

Good luck

Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-16-2013 at 03:20 PM. Reason: How-to removed. Please read the SPECIAL RULES sticky at the top of the thread

 
Old 05-17-2013, 02:05 PM   #5
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Re: Uncomfortable Sex

Thank you SO much! This is great information. You are so right, we always make out for a bit then straight for the sex! I'm going to have to give it a whirl! We do foreplay sometimes, but when we do, it doesn't go for long. I'll have to tell him to change his technique a bit:P

Thank you for your input!!

 
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