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Old 07-12-2013, 05:43 PM   #1
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zavier2002 HB User
Resenting sex demands

My SO and I have been together 15yrs and have 2 boys 12 and 11. We both work full time. my problem is we have sex 2-3x and he pleases himself everyday. In the last few years he has become demanding and hateful about sex whenever he wants it. I do give in occasionally more than I would like just to please him. I am never supposed to say no in his opinion. I was very sick about 6mths ago and he went 3days without and started screaming and slamming doors and saying hateful things bc he didn't feel being sick prevented me from pulling my pants down. Another time I had suffered a severe concussion and even though I felt terrible he got mad that only a day after getting some(th day I hit my head) I didn't want sex he said that it there is never a good enough excuse to not give him sex- he thinks I should b ready and happy anytime if he wants it including in the am when I am running late for work - too bad drop the pants- if I say no maybe tomorrow it's WW3 which really turns me off - I've tried giving in more but that just turns into him wanting more and more - I've tried talking to him nothing helps and I am starting to hate sex bc I feel like I am just a hole to please him- please no nasty remarks bc honestly people that say just give in have no idea how I feel

 
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Old 07-13-2013, 07:23 AM   #2
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Titchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB UserTitchou HB User
Re: Resenting sex demands

Who on earth except some other sick person would tell you to give in? No, you should not give in. If it is as you say, that's reason to leave in my opinion. However, you could try to reason with him. Is there someone whose opinion he trusts? A pastor, an uncle, etc? Perhaps a doctor? If not, then you need to get counseling to strengthen your resolve with him. I hope you find help.

 
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Old 07-14-2013, 06:57 AM   #3
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Re: Resenting sex demands

My ex-husband was also very demanding, and while I loved sex, I discovered that he viewed sex as a weapon -- if we had sex nine times a day, then he wanted it ten times a day. If I had company over, then he would follow me when I left the room and then insist on noisily having sex in another room with me. It was embarrassing and it reached the breaking point for me when we had traveled to my grandfather's place for a visit, and that night, I had been run down and was 'enjoying' walking pneumonia. He more or less forced me to have sex with the threat being him making loud noises and upsetting my grandfather. Given how sick I was, I was beyond furious. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. Sex with men like this is not a consensual act of union -- it is a means and method of controlling you, subjugating you to THEIR whims and wants. If you want to keep this individual, then force him to go with you for couples counselling. Otherwise on the QT, get a lawyer and drop him. Health is a precious commodity. You need to look after yourself esp. as you have children. God bless and good luck.

 
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