Originally Posted by MrSmooth
I have this fetish for stilettos and high heels the ones with the pointy toes. Thats not to bad, but the part that bothers me alot is that I want girls to kick me in the balls with them. Now I have been hit there a bit, I know it hurts like hell. But I get so turned on just seeing a girl wearing those boots and would almost do anything to have her kick me with them. I want some kind of help for this. I don't feel good about myself being like this. I'm the nicest guy otherwise though. If anyone else is like this or can offer any kind of help, it would be very helpful. Thanks.
There are two distinct things going on here:
1. You have a fetish. You are turned on by a set of props (high heels), by the anticipation of a specific atmosphere (submitting to a dominant woman), and by the idea of extremely rough treatment at her hands.
2. You feel really guilty about it.
I would suggest that the second issue is the one you need to get over; otherwise you'll never come to terms with the first. Often, a desire will increase as it is denied. Conversely, addressing it in a sane, safe manner can lead to a couple of different outcomes--you will either find pleasure and fulfillment, or, the fantasy will lose its hold on you and you will move on in new directions. Either way, you win.
You should do a little homework; there's a whole world of people out there who engage in precisely the type of behavior you fantasize about, and they quite enjoy themselves. Don't be surprised that not every woman you meet will be into this type of play. However, those that are tend to take it seriously and treat it as a legitimate activity, whether part-time or livestyle. You should educate yourself; do a search on fetishes. You'll turn up a lot of porn sites, but you'll also turn up serious information/education sites that are only too glad to provide accurate, sane guidance, and also aid in connecting with communities of like-minded folks near you.
You can find a partner, if you look. Understand, I'm not suggesting any kind of "professional". You have a specific desire and you would like to find a person who understands the Dominant/Submissive lifestyle, respects limits, embraces the need for safe, sane play, and will explore your limits with you. They are only too glad to find you as well.
It's quite possible that the role-playing itself is what you would find most appealing. There are ways of fulfilling a fetish fantasy short of self-destruction. Velvet whips and Velcro handcuffs are two ways some indulge their shadowy side without taking a headlong plunge into the abyss. With a willing, creative partner, all things are possible.
While we don't have to be slaves to our reflexes, what turns us on is, to a large degree, hard-wired. If desires and fantasies can be fulfilled, in ways that do no damage to yourself or society, is there a reason to remain unhappy?