Good afternoon and I'm sorry this is so long...
First of all, I want to thank you folks for all of the help and advice you have given me and let you know that it is really appreciated. I have found a great deal of inspiration in what I've read and of course, as much as I would'nt wish this on my worst enemy, it is nice to know that at least I am not all alone and that I have someone to turn to
A few things I'd like to say...
I have been on Levaquin now for over a week. This medication is making me have the most frightening nighmares I think I've ever had in my entire life. They almost appear to roll off "assembly line" style because I have maybe a dozen mini-nightmares most nights and they just keep coming non-stop like some kind of "nightmare factory". First I'm being mugged by some street gang, then I'm being placed in a psycho ward, then I'm in handcuffs being carried away, then I'm being chased by a grizzly bear, etc. By the time I wake, up I feel like I've just emerged from the bowels of hell and I feel just horrible and it affects me all throughout the day. Levaquin seems to act as a "dream engine" that takes all of your worst fears...that horror movie you watched last night, etc and makes it a REALITY as soon as the lights go out and you fall asleep.
Anyway, in addition to the dreams, it is possible (almost certain) that the urologist will want to do a cystoscopy on me next week when I go in for my appointment. I have read so many horror stories about this procedure but have also read some cases where people were helped by it because the urologist found strictures and was able to remove them surgically. However it seems that most people found it very painful, embarrassing and a complete waste of time and that the only reason they are performed is because the urologist gets a nice, fat $500.00 reembursement fee from the insurance company and it looks like they are at least "doing something". I've also read that you are completely naked, spread eagle and in stirrups while this procedure is done and that most urologists prefer to use a rigid cystoscope because it allows them greater flexability and they are able to do whatever they have to do right then and there and that if they did find anything (ie; strictures, cysts, etc) they would end up having to use a rigid cystoscope anyway. I have heard that when they use a rigid cystoscope, it can be VERY painful, a lot of burning and that you can bleed quite a bit and be sore for a month or more. I am having this done as an office procedure and I have lived in a constant state of TERROR at the thought of it for 5 days now. I even have nightmares about it!.
This whole thing (my second time around with prostatitis) actually began about a week or two after I had experimented with anal sex (I'm male and it was with my wife of 4 years). I really don't believe this was caused by "strictures", cancer, etc because (1) the antibiotics did clear it up for the most part and (2) I had zero problems for over a year and a half until I had unprotected anal sex. Yes, I know now that I was really stupid for having anal sex and that I should have used protection even though it was with my wife and yes it is embarrassing for me to admit that I did it but I think I should be completely honest with you folks.
I would really like to have a trans-rectal ultrasound done of my prostate and seminal vesicles but I am on medicaid which pays only a third of what private insurance pays and doctors who accept medicaid must navigate through a slew of paperwork and federal guidelines so there's not much incentive there and treatment is often minimal at best for prostatitis sufferers on medicaid. I don't say this to complain and I'm not one of those "I'm a victim and society owes me" types but this has just been my own experience as a medicaid recipient. Anyway, the other thing that really complicates matters for me is that there is only one urologist within a 150 mile radius who accepts medcaid and so I am stuck with him. While I have heard that he is "the best" and have generally found him to be an excellent urologist, I feel that he has a "God complex" and does not listen to his patients. I call him "Dr. no" because whatever I ask him for (a particular test or medication, a refill, etc) he always say's "no" and if I ask too many questions about something he get's impatient and threatens to refer me out to someone else but the thing is, there IS noone else in my area who accepts medicaid and he knows that so I have to really toe the line with him or risk not being treated at all.
I guess the bottom line in all of this is that I am desparately looking for a way out of having the cystoscopy done. Like I said, I am having nightmares over it and it is really starting to affect me day by day and making me extremely depressed. It's like I'm in some nightmarish fog thinking about this thing and want to avoid it at all costs in leu of some other test like a trans-rectal ultrasound (which is very good at visualizing the prostate and seminial vesicles). What really prevents me from cancelling my dreaded appointment is that I read another post here where someone said that they had a sensation like a golfball was lodged in their rectum and after a cystoscopy, the urologist found strictures, removed them and now this person has had a 90% improvement of symptoms. Still, I really feel that even though I may or may not have strctures, the primary cause of my condition is from having anal sex. To balance it out, I also read another post where someone had a PT done and this solved their "golfball-in-rectum" sensation which tells me that I may not even be dealing with a stricture issue here.
Another thing. I had always heard that prostatitis sufferers should "keep their gland cleaned out" by masturbating regularly and so I became obscessed with masturbating at least once a day and sometimes twice. It "felt good" but there was a LOT more "fullness" in my rectum afterwards (normal?). Anyway, Per some advice I received in this forum and having remembered that the last time I had prostatitis (over a year ago) I had limited my masturbation to every other day and even went four days without masturbating, I now hav'nt masturbated in two full days and my symptoms have greatly improved (although they are still there to a minor degree). I had a 100% recovery the last time so maybe it was because I limited my masturbation to a few times per week. I'm not sure.
Finally, I have heard and read a LOT of stories about how prostatitis sufferers were able to achieve up to 90% relief from symptoms by taking Neurontin. Even the pharmacist told me "oh yes, that's some good stuff. A LOT of people take it for that reason". I was just wondering if this is true because I went to the doctor yesterday and got a prescription for 90 pills which I will get pending something called a "medicaid override" in the next few days. Any side effects I should be aware of?
Well, I guess I'll close for now. Thanks once again for all the great help and I am very happy I was able to find this place.