shiften_2000

OK here is my question, for some reasons I made myself to watch gay porn just to see if i am get turned on and further to see if i am in denial or some craps like that, and I tell you i hve watch them alot but not even once i had erection so today i played with my penis to have an erection u see i wanted to try to masturbate thinking about gay sex to see if i am gay or not and things like that but as soon as i jumped on the bed after having erecion to imagine gay sex i lost it so again i played the gay porn and try to masrurbate (i always masturbate to woman with out touching my penis i push it to my bed) while watching it again it did not do me any good i did not get eretion so i tried so hard and said to myself things like "oh yes i love it am having erection and i say thigs like this" but i should not think about that it actually a guy that i am thinking about other wise i get a strange feeling that i dont think i like which the result is no erection at all.
OK i said all this because i have heard that many straight people have had sex with same sex and masturbated thinking about same sex ppl and many gay men have had sex with women SO why i dont get erection ? u see am i a gay in denial that while i am masturbating i dont get erection about men but i do get erection about women? i have heard that erection is not up to you so how come some gay people were manged to have sex with women so as straight people having sex with men what have they done that they get erection having sex with same sex people nad yet they say they are not gay? i mean am i lying to myself and am i doing somthing in my mind that i dont get erection thinking about men? the only way i think it would be possible for me to have sex with a guy is that i dont look who i am having sex with and imagine that this is a woman! u see i have read many coming out stories and also because of MY HOCD i have been realy confused so please if you wana answer just concentrate on the points that i am more concerned about, should I get erection thinking about gay sex? if not than how come some gay and straight ppl have sex with the gender that they dont prefer? am i a gay in denial that i dont get erction thnking about gay sex? IS THAT WHAT BEING IN DENIAL MEANS? NOT HAVING ERECTION WHILE TRYING TO MASTURBATE ABOUT GAY SEX? i prefer is some one who thinks he is gay anser the question and i must say i really hate doing these stuffs and thinking about them 24 hours a day at the age of 23! while a year ago i was prefectly normal, i hate gay sex but i just wana be sure i am not like "gay in denial" u know after i i learned about such terms my mind got messed up and started to make different questions such as these ones