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Old 12-29-2004, 11:44 PM   #1
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Bacardi HB User
Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

Greetings folks. Just recently I started dating someone rather seriously for the first time in a while. I've dated on and off for the last 2 years and before that was with my ex for almost 7. In any event, we recently started getting sexually involved and when we do I cannot for the life of me, keep an erection. We've tried almost 5 times and everytime its time to put the condom on, I either cant get erected enough or I lose it when we get involved.
Just a bit of background, I've had sex without a condom with my ex for 5 of the 7 years (she used BCP), and after that I didnt have this problem. Only in the last couple months has this been an issue. Im healthy, in great physical shape, just your average 25 year old male with a high sex drive. Recently its become a problem because my current girlfriend is very very much into sex and is very excited to have sex with me especially after doing everythign ELSE with me, but has stated her disappointment in the last time.
Just this last time we took a shower together and everything was just perfect, I had a rock hard erection all the night long. But when it was time to put the condom on, I lost it. Has this happened to anyone else? Is this just mental, or something I should see a doctor about? Any and every piece of information and advice is more than welcome. I would hate to lose such a wonderful girl who makes me feel so good, but I cant get erected for her. Shes surely the kind of girl that could have no trouble finding another man if I cant get it together. Thanks folks.

EDIT:
Also of note, I'd been masturbating regularly maybe once a day or every other day... every blue moon, i'd go twice a day. Sometimes when I do, I would not get a full erection, other times I would be completely normal and get/keep a solid erection. I've read and someone told me that this may be killing my drive, along with mental nervousness. Does this sound accurate?

Last edited by Bacardi; 12-30-2004 at 12:20 AM.

 
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Old 12-30-2004, 08:42 AM   #2
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HealthCurious95 HB User
Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

I pretty much have the same problem. 25 years old, and I can't seem to maintain it. I might achieve an erection for a very brief period of time but thats it. And then even when I'm with someone, and she is pleasing me, well, I can't seem to come, even though it all feels very good. I can masturbate maybe 2 times a day and it all seems fine. Any help ? Any ideas ?
I tried the e-rex pill once when they have/had a free give away and it helped with the erection part. But it felt less sensitive and still could not come. And then the headache side effects kicked in. I'm contemplating getting more, but figured I'd try this health board first.

 
Old 12-30-2004, 09:42 AM   #3
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GEORGEP HB User
Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

Try viagra or cialis, That should solve your problem. If you take Cialis you will have erections non-stop.......................

 
Old 12-30-2004, 09:45 AM   #4
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Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

Yeah I'd like to try other solutions (if any needed) before I resort to relying on that. Plus I wouldnt know the first step into getting any at my age.

 
Old 01-03-2005, 01:14 PM   #5
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Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

anyone else?

 
Old 01-13-2005, 03:30 PM   #6
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Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

I am having the same problems. Can't maintain the erection. I think mostly its mental, due to nervousness. I say so because my heartbeat is very fast when I'm with the girl. When its time to put the condom on I lose it. By the time the condom is fully on, it has gone totally down. sometimes it goes limp just before I am about to penetrate her. I am constantly worrying about losing the erection.
georgep mentioned viagra or cialis. Will it give a continous erection even if the mind is nervous and thinking about losing it ? When you say Cialis will give an erection non-stop (36 hours?), does that mean you stay erect for 36 hours (ouch !!) or you will be able to get an erection with sexual stimulation during the period of 36 hours after you have taken it. Could you please clarify ? Thanks

 
Old 01-13-2005, 04:24 PM   #7
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Bonn1997 HB User
Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

Yohimbe is an OTC herb that would probably help substantially. The only down side for me (and it's a huge one) is that it makes me restless and nervous and keeps me up all night. But it might not have those side effects for you. You can only find out by trying.

 
Old 01-14-2005, 05:00 AM   #8
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Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

i'm curious as to why you are using condoms. if it is for birth control, of course there are other options. if it is for disease control there is another option as well--the female condom. try the female condom for a few times, then perhaps you can be successful with the male condom. also you might try lamb membrane condoms which are thinner than most latex. lamb membrane condoms will not prevent hiv transmission i don't believe. most of all try to lose the anxiety over this.

 
Old 01-14-2005, 06:23 AM   #9
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arjunahawaii HB User
Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bacardi
I had a rock hard erection all the night long. But when it was time to put the condom on, I lost it. Has this happened to anyone else? Is this just mental, or something I should see a doctor about?
The answer to your question is YES -- it does happen to other men. I call it "condom fear" -- which doesn't mean that you really fear condums or don't want to use them -- but it just gets stuck in your head that you can't perform with one on. The mind is powerful. And if you fear that you can't perform with one on -- then you won't. My HYPOTHESIS (theory -- which means my theory might be all BS) is that subciously -- your mind doesn't want to use the condom because you know that sex will be better without one. Sooo, your subconscious mind "flicks a switch" and poof! No more tallboy! Which then either forces you to give up -- or ditch the condom!

I don't want to discourage anyone from seeing a doctor -- I don't know all the particulars of your case so use your common sense -- if you think you should see a doc -- then do so. However, based on just what you've said in your post -- it sounds like plain 'ole condom fright to me!

Why don't you tell your girlfriend that you think you might have a case of subconscious "condom fright" that she needs to help you get over. Make it a game and have her stimulate you and whip one on you. If you lose it, she start over again until you reach success. Keep it humorous and it could be a lot of fun!

By the way, I'm not sure how many men experience "condom fright" and, not all men even use condoms. BUT -- I wonder how many women who force their guys to use condoms have seen this happen? I'd be interested to know just how often it does.

 
Old 01-14-2005, 06:30 AM   #10
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arjunahawaii HB User
Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

Quote:
Originally Posted by thewiseguy
georgep mentioned viagra or cialis. Will it give a continous erection even if the mind is nervous and thinking about losing it ? When you say Cialis will give an erection non-stop (36 hours?), does that mean you stay erect for 36 hours (ouch !!) or you will be able to get an erection with sexual stimulation during the period of 36 hours after you have taken it. Could you please clarify ? Thanks
Just saw this question. Viagra and cialis will help you get it up. I suppose that there may be a point when one is soooo nervous and scared that they won't have an affect -- but usually these drugs do the trick.

Also, you don't have to worry about any 36 hour erections. These drugs allow you to get an erection only from mental and/or physical stimulation of a sexual nature -- the same way a normal erection works. No stimulation, no erection (USUALLY). Both drugs caution you to see a doctor in the rare case an erection lasts for more than 4 hours.

 
Old 01-21-2005, 08:44 AM   #11
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harryds HB User
I have the same problem. 20 years old and got a g/f who demanding in bed. I thought I was the only one. Just when I put the condom on i lost my hard on. Even when she tried masturbating off I could not get hard. Its a problem for the relationship now. Its hard to deal with b.c we are men and we feel we should be able to last all night and when we mess up in bed our manhood feels bad. Thats how I felt last night. Are there any over the counter meds we can take for this problem?

Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-21-2005 at 12:06 PM. Reason: Please use proper terminology - not vulgar language or swearing.

 
Old 01-21-2005, 03:53 PM   #12
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Noliving HB User
Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

I believe you guys are suffering from a metnality things.

Such as if you are focusing on maintaining a erection or if you are nervous you will go flop very fast.

Anything that is distracting or worries you will make you go flop.

You shouldn't worry about anything or that will cause you to go flop.

 
Old 01-21-2005, 04:00 PM   #13
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mellowfish HB User
Re: Mid 20s, problems maintaining erection

If it's putting on the condom that is causing the whole distraction and you don't have a problem with maintaining an erection while masturbating, maybe you could try practicing with the condom on your own. You may be more comfortable by yourself (no expectation to perform), after a few times this may make you comfortable enough to perform while using a condom with your girlfriend.

 
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