i got a couple questions. First of all, i am confused on my sexuality. well, i am a guy and sometimes to get me 'excited' i look at naked men on the internet or heterosexual sex, but NEVER gay porn. it just disgusts me. i would also NEVER have sex with a guy, but i if a guy takes off his shirt i like to 'admire' him. i like to think that i do this because, well, im not the fittest and i like to look at guys with fit bodies so i have a goal to work toward (ive started working out). In school, i check out girls, have prom dates, but no lasting relationships. i was wondering if this fits me under homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual?
It sounds like you are bi-sexual. A 100% straight man thinks another man is as physically interesting as a cabbage. But yet you dont like gay porn or sex.
A gay man wont find a girl interesting at all or like some male gay friend of my girlfriends says, he finds naked women gross and disgusting or even if a woman stands to close to him, he gets disgusted. Which is a normal reaction for a gay man. You find both sexes "interesting" in some way, so you are probably bi-sexual. Just because you are bi-sexual doesnt mean that you like sex with men.
I don't think you are gay or bisexual. I mean, to admire sometimes someone you see because he has a better body doesn't make you bisexual. To be bisexual would be if you are really attracted in the same way by men an women (if you feel that a man is handsome and you see him like he attracts you sexually like a woman attracts you). So, don't worry, i don't think you are bi.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-04-2005 at 11:44 PM.
Reason: Question for the moderators? Email it, don't make comments on the boards.
I really wouldnt worry about it. Its actually a psychological thing that happens to people more often than you think. You see people who look a certain way, that you want to look like, or just plain think looks nice.. And you pull qualities from them that you dont have subconciously. Its definately normal to find members of the same sex attractive. It doesnt mean it is SEXUALLY attractive. I find women to be absolutely beautiful, sometimes more so than guys.. But I wouldnt date a woman, yet I definately have a "type". Also, a guy friend of mine who is into body building.. always tells me that he talks to guys, admires their bodies..but knows he wouldnt want to engage in anything with these guys.
So.. Chalk it up to a mind game. Just because you havent had a real lasting relationship with a woman by your standards..has nothing to do with it. One problem has nothing to do with the other. If you look at a man, and automatically think of him in a sexual way.. You are gay/bi. If you look at a man and think he looks great, is dressed well..whatever.. and it ends there. You are straight.
I do not think you are are gay or bi. I don't think you can call someone bi unless they plan to act on it. Maybe the fact that you like looking at naked men makes it a little bit likely to accidentally happen one day (especially at your age) but unlikely. I also want to point out that you are still in your teen years. It is not uncommon for boys to be curious about other boys at that age. OR to say at that age that having short relationships is uncommon. Some people like to be single. I am 33, hetero, and still single but not lonely either It will take a special girl to settle me down. I am not going to get married just to have a wedding or just so I can have kids or to keep up with my brother or god knows the stupid, foolish reasons people get married.
Also, if you look on this site or do a google search you will find plenty or men (especially married men) who fantasize about having sex with other men and even look at gay porn but never act on it nor have any desire to act on it. Its just fantasy. So unless it is getting in the way of your normal sexual functions I would not worry about it.
IMO, you are normal. From the sounds of things, you may have a small interest/curiosity about other men but if you were ever put in the position to act on it you likely wouldn't. The reality would not match the fantasy.
I check out guys the same way you do. It's normal. You measure yourself against how they look. Men do that. They're the competition.
I'm married, and have three kids. I don't have sex with anyone but my wife.
If you need convincing that the whole world admires the human body - male or female- spend a little time in a good art museum and look at what the human race has found attractive (not sexual) for centuries. If you find the male bodies "disgusting", then you might begin to wonder if you are, in fact, gay.
Not only do guys check out other guys upper bodies, but have you seen what goes on in the locker rooms or at urinals. A lot of us "sneak a peek." We're curious about others bodies and, like another poster said, people are very competitive, whether they know it or not. So, we check out the competition and wonder if we stack up.
To comment more on what is written in this thread. You pretty much got it, except for some clarifications. No "acting" or "not acting" on something doesnt make you straight or gay. There are men that has been married for 10 years with normal sex lives that are bisexual. Just because you only have sex with women by choice, doesnt make you straight. Many times these men know that being gay or bi-sexual is something "dirty" so they do not act on it, in fact I think these men hate the fact that they are not 100% normal by social standards and try to hold it back. Some of these men may or may no come out of the closet at a later date. What makes you straight, gay or bi-sexual is what "appeals" to you. If you only admire women and are not checking out men, other than for analytical reasons or to compare yourself to, then you are straight.
iam straight, but if i look at porn i would rather see look at porn with a guy and a chick eg hardcore. two lesbians are also good to look at , but i get more aroused when i see a male and a female. but i dontlook at gay porn.
and i also look at othe guys bodies on beach etc just to compare muscles , etc.
I was told in a psychology course that there is no such thing as a completely gay or straight person. I was told (and I can't verify this) that it is on a spectrum, meaning you're either more straight than gay, or more gay than straight, or equal in both regards (I guess that would be a bisexual). I personally understand how you can admire a strong body, but I would just get jealous and self-concious rather than sexually stimulated in any way!
[QUOTE=Robert4170]i got a couple questions. First of all, i am confused on my sexuality. well, i am a guy and sometimes to get me 'excited' i look at naked men
REPLYING TO THIS SENTENCE ; I think if you've never acted out with a guy you can't call this bi or gay I think the best terminology for your question is curiosity, because some people start out being fully attracted to both sexes and end up with the one they think fits them better, I know because my co- worker is gay and she is very open with her sexuality and she basically tells it all.
Girls check out girls all them time ,i do it and that doesnt mean im gay or bi-sexual.I just check out other girls because i like to compare my self to them and i think your doing the same thing,your fine it's normal.I even think it's sexy that you said you check out guys because it takes a man to say the do.
Last edited by PlayBoiBunny05; 01-10-2005 at 07:53 PM.
You have to be consistent with your definition of "gay" or "homosexual." I am not attracted to guys, nor do I admire them the way you claim to, but if you define homosexuality as "being sexually aroused by the same sex," then the answer is no, you are NOT gay. Hope that helps.
i am a gay 33 yr old guy and i felt very similar to how you described acting around men when i was younger. i didn't come out to myself until i was around 21, then acted on urges around 25. it's been a long road, but i feel like i've traveled down a similar one as you might be headed. i won't dare say you are gay, but if you have specific questions that you'd like to ask i don't mind answering them. good luck.
Honestly, I wish we weren't so pressurized into categorizing ourselves gay or straight. Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? Who really cares? It only serves to cause you to worry and stress out needlessly. Just be yourself, celebrate your individuality, be sensible, and enjoy life. I wish I had done that long ago without having to go through forty years of searching before coming out.
Happens to me but am not worried about it. Its fairly normal if one is thin and thinks about becoming muscular or well built like the model types. I think its fairly normal. We people do not see naked men around us so one is obviously a bit interested in seeing them and if one sees them and doesn't get attracted to them he is simply straight. So, you are neither bi nor gay. You are simple and straight.