I have a situation that I have not dealt with before. A couple of nights ago, my girlfriend and I were having sex, and I noticed that I was not maintaining a very hard erection. I had been sleep deprived for about a day and a half before that, and I was very tired. So I chalked it up to my fatigue. However, I'm still dealing with this issue days later because, now, the problem has moved into my head. I am fearing, every time we go to have sex, that I will still not be able to get and keep it up. We engage in foreplay, and that is fine. But as soon as I enter her, I'm losing my erection. I know that this is all in my head, and I'm thinking about it a very great deal through a large part of the day. Has anyone ever dealt with this kind of anxiety, and what can you suggest as a means to ridding myself of it? It's not about a lack of desire. I have the desire, and my gf has been incredibly sweet, supportive, and understanding, but I feel sort of hopeless right now because the last three attempts at sex have not been successful. I'm sure some will advise me to just relax and stop thinking about it, but that is so much easier said than done.
If anyone has anything that they think may be useful in dealing with a problem like this, I would love to hear it, and thanks, in advance, for your advice.
Yeah, I don't know about most people but, I can readily admit that sometimes I feel some performance anxiety and think about it. It has happened ONCE to me and my girlfriend started crying crocodile tears, about that I didnt find her appealing enough etc, which made it worse. So sometimes I have been thinking about that one time. Tiredness has alot to do with it, sometimes you can have a cold coming on etc and your body is just wasted and tired. And if your girlfriend wants to jump your bones on that specific day or so, I might feel some anxiety too. But luckily it has only happened once. It is normal, unless it happens too often. 3 times in a row does not sound good though. Sometimes a man can go soft if a woman wants too much foreplay or take too long, the body goes into "resting mode" and you can loose it. But if you have a understanding girlfriend who can get you going again, then you should be able to get it up again. Maybe you need to make it more exciting, do something new etc, maybe that would help.
Yup, the big head always controls the little head. This may not work for you at all but here it is:
Forget about yourself for awhile and try only to please her. Giving her oral and manual stimulation to the point of orgasm may satisfy her, while also stimulating you.
Even if you don't achieve your desired result, she will probably enjoy your efforts.
man i use tohave the same prob. people say forget all about it, but its amazingly hard i reckon. well i tryed forgetting about it anyway and at the same time telling myself that it actually works so its nothing physically wrong withyou.
why dont u also try to buy onof those supermarket tablets that give u energy and comtain natural testosterioon, that mght help yuo . and thirdly why dont u just talk to ur gf and tell her its anxiety and not her , just keep ashoring her. hercrying also makes u feel the pressure for u not to go limp again, just tell her to help u out.
ps iam a horrible speller.
Last edited by Russianman; 01-09-2005 at 01:39 AM.