question - Sexual Health - Men Message Board

HelpHelpHelp · 04-04-2005, 11:38 PM

I would like some feedback from males on this sexual question.

My current bf and I who have been together for about half a decade are in limbo. We don't know what to do about our relationship.

It seems we've hit a dead end. I am only interested in having sex with him. I do not want to participate in any threesomes, swinging, or the like. Nor do I care to view pornography of more than two people doin' the deed. I am just not interested in group sex. I have been "interested" in these thigns previously, but this was a result of his urging.

He strongly desires to DO these things---he is not content to just "fantasize." I can't help but to take it as a little insulting and wonder why I, (hot sexy smoking me

), am not enough?

How should I approach this situation? Why is my man so obsessed with me being a "****"? During the early phases of our relationship, (boy that was awhile ago), he was extremely jealous and overprotective. Now he is exactly the opposite. I've always felt him to be a bit controlling, moreso at times than others.

Is there any possible compromise in this situation? So far, we've not found one...in case you are wondering, we are older college students. We are not married/engaged.

PLEASE HELP! I am desperate for any sort of outside opinion!

HelpHelpHelp · 04-05-2005, 12:37 AM

I want to note that I don't consider myself to be a prude. Perhaps you will, and of course it is all relative, right?

I am willing to use toys, make our own videos (which we have done and he got rid of in a fit of rage

), basically anything that just involves two people: Me and Him. He thinks I'm a prude...is he justified?

german30 · 04-05-2005, 08:57 AM

I think you and your B/F have to have a long talk about your relationship, both of you have realize that both of you are involved and as the old song said "It takes Two To Tango"

Geoff B · 04-05-2005, 02:15 PM

I suspect this is going to be an ongoing major issue and it doesn't look like you will ever see eye to eye. Threesomes and any other permutation of group sex carries multiple risks to you and your relationship. I've seen plenty of posts from people who have fantasised about it but found the reality of seeing their beloved having sex with someone else emotionally scarring. I think if you try it, unless that happens to him, you are likely to get hurt emotionally and he is likely to just want more. If you remain firm and refuse to do it, can you trust him not to cheat and bring you home some disease? I don't think you are a prude at all.
You may want to consider counselling together but if he is really controlling and obsessed, do you really want to stay in this relationship? I don't like the sound of his earlier controlling behaviour either.
For the record I am a 50 year old married male, who has had varied sexual experience, is not relegious and is coming up to 8 years married and 11 years together.
Good luck,
Geoff

dpman · 04-06-2005, 11:04 AM

Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news but your relationship is in serious trouble. Your bf will never be truly satisfied with just you. It really has nothing to do with you or your sex life. I went through the same thing with my last gf, it really boiled down to the fact that I just can't be satisfied with just one woman.

I'm sorry!