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Old 05-13-2005, 11:42 PM   #1
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Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Hi, I'm 20 and I have trouble reaching orgasm. When i have sex, either it takes foooooooorever to reach orgasm or i have sex for 2 hours and i dont get one, like my penis gets to a point where no matter how much more pleasure i get i wont orgasm. I need help with this badly! Also usually i'm hard at the beginning but then after a couple minutes i get soft, like semi-erection the whole time. Like my penis gets bored or something, and its hard to get it fully erect again. And as soon as i do, it'll just go semi-erect again after a few minutes.

This is really a pain in the A$$, because i almost feel like there is no point of having sex if i cant reach orgasm or stay hard. And if i'm drinking at all, forget about it. No chance, i wont even get fully erect.

This is horrible, there must be a solution. I've been stressing out about it for years. Why does this happen to me?

Thanks

Last edited by tigershot; 05-13-2005 at 11:42 PM.

 
Old 05-14-2005, 12:03 AM   #2
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Also i dont take any medication, and i can achieve orgasm while masterbating. It takes a little while but not too long, 5-10 minutes if i dont stop.

And I usually dont use a condom, so thats not the problem

*edit*
Also I dont want to use any drugs for it because its not like i'm impotent and i dont want to get dependant on them. Just most of the time i get slightly softer like my penis gets bored after a couple minutes in the vagina, whenever i've stayed rock hard the whole time i orgasmed in good time, under a 1/2 hour. But usually it gets softer after a couple minutes like its bored and it gets kind of numb like its used to being in the vagina and i dont feel as much pleasure

Last edited by tigershot; 05-14-2005 at 12:34 AM.

 
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Old 05-14-2005, 04:17 AM   #3
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Why would a woman want to do it for 2 hours. It must be very painful for her, ever consider her feelings?

 
Old 05-14-2005, 04:41 AM   #4
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Well I think you solved one problem, don't drink when you think sex may be in the picture! As to the difficulty "finishing"....I wonder about this. How frequently do you masturbate? Our masturbation techinque...grip, speed, etc and vaginal sex are very different. We simply can't duplicate the same stimulation. You might try changing everything about masturbation...if you're not using lubrication, add it....change your speed, grip strength and everything about it....do something different each time. This may "trick" your penis into responding to different stimulation and may help with the sex. Also, nerves or being worried about this when you're having sex could affect it as well...nerves do crazy things to our penis and our performance. Hope some of this helps.

 
Old 05-14-2005, 02:08 PM   #5
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

uh Jin thats exactly the point of me asking this question, i want to finish faster
And no, i've never had a girl hurt or dissapointed, they always love it. But i want to orgasm while i'm having sex too


I used to use lube everyday when i was younger but i think thats what made me desensitize the head of my penis, so i havent used lube in a couple years (btw i'm uncircumsized) I'll try just having a really light grip when i masterbate, maybe that will help make me orgasm with less pleasure.

I hope this will work but i doubt it..... i hope i get some more suggestions. There must be other guys that are like this and have had a solution for it.

Thanks for the replies so far

Last edited by tigershot; 05-14-2005 at 02:11 PM.

 
Old 05-15-2005, 12:42 PM   #6
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Is there nobody who can help me with this?!?

Also, i would of thought stopping masterbating would help me reach orgasm faster

 
Old 05-16-2005, 01:00 AM   #7
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Tried again tonight, but i always feel like i'm near that point of orgasm but then it goes away. Somebody pleeeeeeeease help. Poor girl's doing everything she can to make me come but its not happening, then she feels bad cause she thinks its her fault, she thinks she doesnt turn me on or something.

I'm begging for help on this

 
Old 05-16-2005, 05:56 PM   #8
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My heart is with you, I have run into this very issue and feel your pain. There was times I gave up myself on masterbation, not being able to bring myself off. LOL

But, I have found some things that helped.

First easy on the lube, Many men tend to reach for the lube to get on with intercourse, less friction is nice for her, but it can doom us, if there isn't resistance, Then it gets less exciting. Try to use very little, and use foreplay, I find the natural lube is just enough, take the time to get her ready and don't try to rush it.

Do not pick a position you have to strain to keep going, many prefer the on top idea, but that can be tough on the arms and distracting.

Try to time the sex when your most rested, having sex at the end of a hard day is a bad idea, if your tired so isn't the rest of you. if will be harder to reach your peak if you have father to climb.

Treat your other senses, men are turned on most by sight, if your love one is uncomfortable making love in the dark, try scented candles, they usually go for this, and you get the visual treat you need to keep you interested.

Last, Practice masterbating with your lover. Tell her you want to start sharing this part of yourself, show her what you do and how. If she is willing, once she knows your buttons, lol, your in trouble.

The last tidbit, is don't give up on medication. Viagra not only helps keep you erected, but it makes you very very sensitive, I find it removes many of the barriers. Once I no longer had to worry about erections, getting off was easier and more enjoyable.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-16-2005 at 09:43 PM. Reason: TMI

 
Old 05-17-2005, 11:12 AM   #9
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

thanks for the tips!

But i dont want to start using viagra, i'm only 20 years old. I dont want to become dependant on it. Maybe something all-natural

 
Old 05-18-2005, 03:46 AM   #10
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Tigershot, realx there is hope that you will get over all of this. I had the EXACT same symptoms as you when I was your age.

I broke up with my GF of 4 years at 20 yrs old and started having alot of sex. When I was with my exGF I never had a problem getting off, but not that I was single and dating, I found myself never getting an orgasm and never holding a solid erection throughout the entire time. I would go semi-soft just like you said and would have to resort to masturbating right next to whatever girl was in bed with me. Most of the time the girl wouldn't mind, but for some they thought it was weird, or if I had sex with them on more then a few occasions, they would get upset that I can never get off from the sex itself.

Anyway, from all the times I had sex I'd say I orgasmed about 10 times total which is bad since I had a decent amount of sex.


I would try to relax and not think about it because thinking and worrying that you wont be able to orgasm will actually prevent you from orgasming. So you have to train yourself to believe you will be fine. You should also stay away from the booze. Try alot of foreplay if you're into that and don't rush right into the sex.

Most importantly for me though was deep down inside I was nervous and couldn't handle the pressure even though I never actually felt pressure. Its hard to explain, but I'm now dating a girl for a year and have to fight myself not to orgasm so quick, so there is hope....trust me.



Sorry if this post is some what messy, but I'm trying to type as fast as possible because I don't want any of my coworkers seeing this.

 
Old 05-18-2005, 10:39 AM   #11
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

thanks for the reply NYDeuce.... so theres nothing i can really do about it? Just wait and hope it gets better?

I was hoping there was something i'd be able to do to get off quicker.... like maybe stop masterbating or something. If i dont masterbate for a week before sex, i should be able to get off quicker right?

Last edited by tigershot; 05-18-2005 at 10:41 AM.

 
Old 05-18-2005, 11:17 AM   #12
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Yeah actually the brain is the biggest sex organ and 90% of ED cases like yours is mental. At your age you really shouldn't have any physical blood flow problems or weak heart or anything like that. And yes the funny thing about alcohol is that it has the opposite effect on girls and men. Girls have it way easier to get an orgasm and enjoy sex when drinking alchohol and guys actually have problems getting it up if they are too drunk and maintaining erections, even the ones that have absolutely no problems normally. So for you that have a problem in normal state, probably should stay away from alchohol while having sex. Basically what happens when you get excited is that the brain sends a signal to the heart to pump the blood and raise the blood pressure, thus giving you an erection, but if you are too drunk, your body is too relaxed and wont agree with the brain Another thing is that maybe the girl you were with weren't too exciting for one reason or another, that can be a erection-killer right there.

 
Old 05-18-2005, 06:56 PM   #13
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by tigershot
I was hoping there was something i'd be able to do to get off quicker.... like maybe stop masterbating or something. If i dont masterbate for a week before sex, i should be able to get off quicker right?

No, I don't think that'll work. I would def stay away from masturbating the day of sex, but not a week because when the time comes to have sex it'll def be on your mind, which will then cause underlining stress.

I was at the point where I really thought I had some kind of impotence. There was no way I was going to ask anyone about it because I was too embarassed, but I def thought there was something wrong with me. I started dating a girl from work who I would always fantasize about. I was very sexually attracted to her. On our second date I had her naked ready to go, but I couldn't get up at all. I made up some BS story and prayed it would be ok the next date. Next date same thing, date after that was the same thing etc....7 dates in a row and I couldnt even get hard. I thought for sure she was going to stop hanging out with me and tell people at work about my problem. Well I eventually learned to relax and started having solid erections with her, but I still couldn't orgasm unless she went down on me while she played with herself, or if she did some really crazy stuff to get me off. I think I got off from sex with her 2 out of a total of at least 100 times of actual intercourse.


So we broke up and I met my GF now, and for some reason it went away. I never have a problem getting off or catching an erection. In fact, I masturbate alot more now and have alot more sex and can get off whenever I want. I feel like a pornstar .




Just try not to think about it, and if you see that you can't help but to think about it when your getting busy, then tell yourself its no big deal if it happens. Eventually you'll slowly get back to normal. Like I said, I had the EXACT same problems as you, and I registered to this site just to respond to you because I know what you're going through.

 
Old 05-19-2005, 10:27 AM   #14
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

^ Thanks alot man, i really respect that

But why wouldnt stopping masturbating help? Dont you get more sensitive the longer you dont masturbate? Seems like it to me... if i dont masturbate for a long time i'll reach orgasm way faster the next time.

 
Old 05-20-2005, 09:58 AM   #15
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Re: Trouble Reaching Orgasm

What happens if i just completely stop masturbating or dont masturbate for like a week before sex? That should help me reach orgasm much faster, wont it?

 
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