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hender · 06-08-2005, 05:32 PM

Hi everyone, I'm hoping to get a couple of answers about some things with are bothering me..

I think I have an erection problem, but I'm not sure if it's physical or psychological. I'm not in a position to see a doctor about it, because of personal reasons, so maybe I can get some help here

It started about 3 years ago, when I was having some fun with a girl, and no matter what I tried, I couldn't get an erection.. At first I wasn't too bothered by it, because i didn't fancy her at all, and the way the situtation was initiated wasn't sexy in the slightest, so I just put it down to me not being interested. I was put off by her saying she did not like performing oral sex, and wouldn't do it under any circumstances. (ps. It's hard to explain these circumstances without being a little crude, but I'll do my best not to be)

Anyway, due to work, and not going out much I haven't met many other women since, and this is where my problem started.. Mostly due to boredom, I masturbate a lot. Sometimes up to 8 times in a day, and I noticed that during these stages, my sensitivity to pornographic material slowly decreased, so I'd needed harder and harder stuff to arouse me.. If my attention was taken away, my erection would subside almost immediately. I cannot seem to maintain an erection unless I am actively masturbating. I never get spontaneous erections anymore, either.

This is where it gets weird.. If something turns me on, I will get an erection, and as long as I'm aroused, the erection will stay. Part of me thinks it's psychological, and I'm just de-sensitized. But, on the other hand, I no longer wake with an erection. Often, I'll wake during the night, and I'll have an erection, but never when I actually get out of bed to start the day... Is that normal? Should I be worrying that I don't have one when I actually get out of bed, or should I just put it down to the fact that I'm not having to set an alarm and actually interrupt my sleeping pattern which would increase the chances of waking with a nocturnal erection?

I recently had a testosterone test, and it came back normal-high, so I know that's not the problem.. I'm very worried it's physical, but that fact that I can acheive an erection long enough to masturbate for 30+ minutes leads me to think it might be psychological.. I've just met a girl, and I'm very worried about what's going to happen..

Am I worrying too much? This has been going on so long, I can't actually remember if it's normal to be able to maintain an erection for a long time without stimulation.

I'm 26 years old, by the way

Any help or advice on this subject would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot

ethera · 06-08-2005, 11:51 PM

The last relationship I was in, there was a time or two when I wasn't "up to it" when she was. I'm not talking about just being entirely too sleepy or fatigued, which did happen at times, thoroughly desireable to me though she was.

Usually, I'd get with her whenever I felt like it, or whenever she felt like initiating sex, unless one or both of us was too sleepy or fatigued.

If you are seeing a girl and it seems promising, I'd refrain from self-gratification/masturbating, and maybe even looking at porn.

Even though you are obviously already interested in her, I think it will help you be more oriented toward her.

The reason I say 'maybe' about the porn is that it could have one of two effects on your relationship:

it could increase your drive toward her if temporarily: such as if you're revved up from looking at porn, and she is willing to provide release to you.
(This is one of the selling points of the sex industry).
it could alienate you from her eventually, or perhaps more immediately:

you could become more oriented to the porn images you might choose to consume.

With the new girl you are seeing, try not to be overly concerned with sex and the mechanics of it ( only one of many aspects of intimacy in relationships ) . Focus instead on intimacy of the relationship, and let things happen naturally.

If it will reassure you as a backup plan, erectile enhancement/promotion drugs such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, are available fairly easily, even though they are prescription drugs.

Also, monitor your activity, whether work or free-time related:

For example, if you spend a lot of your time on a bike seat, that can cause E.D. ( impotency ).

Make sure you are eating enough and properly: a balanced diet promotes a health sex drive; fasting ( going with out food ) can lower sex drive.

Being around an environment where you might be prone to ingest certain chemicals, including smoking or secondary smoke, also increases the risk for E.D.

kitkat77 · 06-09-2005, 12:30 AM

Sounds like over-stimulation to me. If you need "harder stuff to arouse" you then you are clearly masturbating out of habit, rather than need. This can cause the exact problem you are having.

Time for a break!

Big Dan · 06-09-2005, 10:56 AM

As a general rule, doctors will ask you how masturbation for you has been. If it's okay, then most likely, it's psychlogical.

hender · 06-09-2005, 03:11 PM

Thanks for the advice everyone, you've made it a lot easier to deal with. Time to recover

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