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Old 06-14-2005, 04:55 PM   #1
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Retarded / (Delayed) Ejaculation

Hey guys, I am new to this board... and I have joined here to discuss an issue which is really starting to bother me as I become increasingly sexually active.

I firstly think it is important to give you some background knowledge on myself before I proceed with my actual problem.

I am an 18 year old male in a steady relationship with a girl whom I love dearly, and hope to spend the rest of my life with. I have had one sexual partner previously, so this girl is my second.

I have always been unable to ejaculate when any act is performed upon my penis by any other individual. This can range from, oral sex... to hand jobs... to actual vaginal intercourse. I get very very aroused, just like i should do... and I do emit precum, and enjoy the experience very much, but I cannot actually ejaculate, unless it is by my own hand.
This has been a problem I have always been faced with, in every sexual experience with another.
I have done some research on the matter, and have found that there are numerous physical and psychological factors that could be causing this type of problem. One of the physical aspects that can cause retarded ejaculation that really caught my eye was medication. I am currently on "Sertraline", which is sold as Zoloft, or Lustral. I am on this to control my severe case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (O.C.D), and I am having amazing results with this medication. I've read on a few different websites that this type of medication can be a cause of retarded ejaculation, and other forms of sexual dysfunction. I have no problems in any other areas of sex, some might say I have it good, because I can last for absolutely hours, maintaining a constant erection, needless to say, my girlfriend is quite happy by this.
Having said all this, it is very frustrating for me that I cannot just 'finish the job', without resorting to masturbation.

I tried to stop masturbating to see if it would help correct the problem, and went for around 4 weeks without masturbating... before having sex with my girlfriend. I found the experience much more stimulating, but still could not finish the job. This was terribly annoying, since I had been on a 'masturbation ban' for 4 weeks, without any changes in the situation, (although I did feel a little bit more close to ejaculation than usual).

I think another factor of my problem could be caused by the way in which I masturbate, and the certain areas of my penis that this type of masturbation stimulates. [deleted] It usually takes me about 5 - 10 minutes to ejaculate using this method; I cannot ejaculate any other way. I usually have to lubricate my penis also.

The reason I am posting on this board is because I am looking to talk to some guys with similar problems, and try to find ways to work at correcting the issue.
It is out of the question for me to change medication, as it has taken me years to find a medication that actually stops my OCD from taking over my life, and it is too much of a risk to try and chop and change the medication.

Could anyone please help me... I am pretty desperate.

Thank you

J

Last edited by Mod-S4; 06-14-2005 at 08:44 PM. Reason: TMI / Please use proper terminology and do not ask for how-tos regarding sexual technique.

 
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Old 06-14-2005, 06:54 PM   #2
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Re: Retarded / (Delayed) Ejaculation

Hi. I am not a guy, but an 18 year old girl. Do you feel nervous when you and your gf have sex or mess around? Like, do you stress out that you won't be able to finish? Maybe if you just relaxed and just purely enjoyed every sensation, it would help. Relaxing and not worrying helped me in that department, Although I'm a girl. That's all I can say. But maybe you might want to talk to your doctor.



Sorry I can't be of more help

 
Old 06-15-2005, 06:40 AM   #3
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Re: Retarded / (Delayed) Ejaculation

thanks for your comment star, but.. no... I never feel nervous at all. I have a very high sex drive... and I am concentrated on enjoying the sensations...I never feel anxious at all... which is why it confuses me...

 
Old 06-15-2005, 08:25 AM   #4
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Re: Retarded / (Delayed) Ejaculation

What you describe sounds exactly like a side effect of the medication. That is exactly what a lot of people on them go through, and there is little that can be done about it - besides changing medication, which you've already said you don't want to do. It all feels good, but it is near impossible to actually orgasm. (This goes for men and women.)

I would also guess that the reason only you can do it is because since it is so difficult, it has to be done EXACTLY right or it doesn't work, and there is no way someone can duplicate your exact motions. Well, maybe if you gave directions every second of the way, telling her just what to do but somehow, I don't think you're doing that, are you?

Anyway, I can't offer any solutions other than see your doctor about maybe getting something to combat this side effect, or just accept that it is the price you have to pay for controlling your O.C.D.

Maybe just knowing it's the meds might help you and your girlfriend just accept that that's how it's going to be. Just let her know that you do enjoy everything else anyway. It should take the pressure off, at least?

 
Old 06-16-2005, 08:26 AM   #5
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nonstop HB User
Thumbs up Re: Retarded / (Delayed) Ejaculation

Your style of medication is exactly what many doctors are recommending for premature ejaculation. I suffer from PE and my doctor recommended this method. BUT, I don't wish to take this as it often leads to other issues, sexual as well as physical. I would recommend just giving up masturbation altogether. I think over a period of time this will help you. The results may take awhile but in the end it will serve you well. Having your gf enjoy this is a huge plus. I wish I could last longer.
Have your gf do clamp down exercises while you are having sex. This creates more friction for you and may help you reach orgasm quicker. Meanwhile enjoy the fact that she is having a wonderful experience.

 
Old 06-20-2005, 06:22 PM   #6
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Re: Retarded / (Delayed) Ejaculation

hey guys... bit of an update for you.


My gf and I did a lot of forplay this weekend, and she was able to make me ejaculate via stimulating me with her hand. This was helped due to lots of baby oil.

I masturbated on my own tonight, with baby oil, and i did not rub the head of my penis, and still managed to ejaculate. So I am beginning to think it is more about me being so used to my way of masturbation. I think i am slowly training my penis to cope with different situations... and the baby oil is working!

 
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