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Old 06-19-2005, 09:34 AM   #1
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Gustav0 HB User
Penis problems and overall happiness

I'm really glad I found this site today. First, because it's good to know others may have similar problems and second, because the advice is very good.

Here's my deal. I'm a good looking guy aged 26. I should be having the time of my life, living in a great big city and with so much to see and do. But there's this thing holding me back, and it has done so all my life. It's my penis. It's ruining my confidence and my chances of happiness.

My penis is less than 5 inches long. It looks so small. I have always been ashamed of it. Also my testicles are small, like large grapes rather than decent sized plums! I also have phimosis. (I will be starting stretching exercises from today - thanks for the advice in other posts.)

The upshot of this is that I have never let a woman so much as SEE my penis. So I am a virgin at 26 and do not think I will ever have sex. I have never experienced, and will never experience, a blow job, hand job or anything involving someone else pleasuring me. I have an big libido and beyond this, desire to fall deeply in love with someone and pleasure them sexually, but don't have the confidence that I could satisfy a woman sexually, and so will never experience love. And with that, will never be truly happy. I have never even had a girlfriend because of my penis.

This is perhaps the longest post in the world (!), but I've never told anyone about this and needed to get it out and get it heard. And maybe get some advice. Thanks for listening. Gustav.

 
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Old 06-19-2005, 02:45 PM   #2
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Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

You're stuck in an endless vicious circle, Gustav -- you will need to take appropriate action to end this.

This means you need to work on the mental aspect of your problem since the physical part, your penis, is unlikely to change all that much.

But for the record, a five-inch penis isn't all that small -- and testicles also come in a wide variety of size, shape and color!

You are fearing the UNKNOWN more than anything else. You haven't had sex, you haven't allowed a lady to see your penis -- you haven't done anything, really. You cannot live in fear of the ANTICIPATION of an IMAGINED response. Yet that is exactly what you are doing!

What good comes from that?

Well, for one thing, you can avoid taking a risk by remaining afraid. The more you keep doing this, the more comfortable you feel. You are "protected" by your own fears and you allow yourself an easy excuse for your miserable sex life. Though it is frustrating, both physically and mentally, it is also EASIER to continue on in this manner because you don't have to DO anything except be afraid.

So you've balanced out your options here and decided to stick with fear and inaction.

But you aren't happy with this choice anymore -- so now's the time to start learning how to put these fears aside, don't you think?

For the phimosis, you can follow the previous advice you learned here. As long as you do it slowly and carefully, the stretching shouldn't be a problem and if you start to see results this may build your confidence level -- so it's worth a try. But if you find your condition is resistant to "at home" methods, do see a doc and get various opinions about what to do. But I'd say this is probably the least of your problems right now, though TAKING ACTION to remedy the situation is a great first step that can lead to more and more actions taken to gain your self-confidence that is lacking.

Have you ever tried out wearing an erection ring? Give it a shot -- you may find that you like how your penis looks and feels when sporting one of these. You may get a little extra girth that will look more impressive to you.

Now, an erection ring is not a solution to a size issue (though as I said, in all honesty, you are NOT that small). But the idea here with the erection ring is to learn how to APPRECIATE your penis. If you like how it looks when adorned with the ring -- maybe you'll start to learn how to like it more ALL the time.

And that's really the key here: learning how to appreciate what you've got and who you are instead of worrying that you are "less" than other men.

Some folks feel "less" than other people for a myriad of reasons. Some folks do not have a great public speaking ability and may envy those who do. Some folks may wish they had "better" hair or blue eyes instead of brown. Worrying about your penis is very similar to those types of issues -- but in the case of your penis, you don't have to have anyone see it but those you WANT to see it, right? So already you can consider yourself one step ahead of the game, if you want to use a "glass half full" approach.

Most ladies are not going to immediately ask to see your penis when you invite them out on a date -- at least I hope not! Most ladies are also going to be MUCH more interested in WHO you are than what you've got in your pants.

When people start to care for each other and love each other, they often find that they also love and care for the physical aspects of the other person, too. In other words, the emotions and feelings of appreciating another person can translate over to an appreciation and respect for various body parts!

Many guys have fallen in love with women who have smaller breasts. Maybe for many years these guys have admired larger breasts on other ladies -- but then, they meet a gal whom they adore -- and they find that her smaller breasts are much more beautiful than they imagined. They love those breasts and they love the lady who owns them.

You will find the same applies to your penis.

If you are indeed five inches, you are JUST under "average" size. Now, you can go about trying all the various methods of penile enlargement that are out there and if you're lucky you might gain a fraction of an inch -- but this is probably a rotten idea because it trains you that you are not good enough as you are. If I were you, I would focus my attention on what I have instead.

You need to learn to love yourself. You need to learn that pleasing a partner is not all about penis size. You need to understand that women are not going to dismiss you out of hand because you've taken off your pants.

Try working on your self-confidence. Get some counseling if you think this will help. Most importantly, I think you need to just realize that you are essentially making a mountain out of a molehill (pun intended).

While this is important to YOU, it is probably FAR less important to others. And if you realize the truth in that -- it will become far less important to you, too.

Good luck.

 
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Old 06-19-2005, 04:14 PM   #3
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Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

Hey, I'm 26 years old also and can totally relate to what you've written. My lifelong insecurity also revolved around my penis and has caused me some real issues most of my teen and adult life. I have the same kind of embarrassment but for about the exact opposite reasons. I don't want to get to personal on here. It's hard for me explain or even admit. If you'd like to talk privately I'd be happy to share with you some facts that I've discovered. I will tell you this, 5" is not uncommon, in fact.... the absolute average of an adult male erect, WHEN MEASURED BY A DOCTOR is 5.03" in length. When they relied upon the guy to measure it himself, even understanding it was for scientific purposes, the guy would report about 1/2" additional length. So if 5.03" is average, that means for every 6" penis, there is a 4" penis, for ever 7" penis, there is a 3" penis. Like all guys, we are just to worried about what's living downstairs. Let me know if you want to know more about what I've learned.

 
Old 06-20-2005, 05:55 AM   #4
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Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

Welcome, you sure your name isn't Lance? Your story sounds just like mine, spent years being concerned about something I have absolutely NO control over. My penis is just a bit over 5.5 and I thought it was awful, didn't take the risks of relationships (not just because of that) but more out of my own insecurities about body image and such. You know man, life is too short to deny yourself happiness and one of the greatest pleasures in life...over the size of your penis. Most females could care less about our size...they fall for the owner...who he is and how he treats them. Penis size is no big deal (no pun intended) and it sounds like you would really enjoy the companionship and love of someone. One question matters....does it work? IF so, then stop fretting about the size of the equipment, trust yourself, forget about the insecurities and get out there! I waited until I was 35 to marry, was a virgin still and don't regret one minute of it at all. There were other reasons for waiting that didn't have anything to do with my penis. We're all different, that's what makes us special and unique. By the way, I'm uncut too and understand the stretching and things you're dealing with there as well. I'll be glad to keep chatting with you about this bud, but do yourself a favor and get out there, don't deny yourself a relationship and sex over your penis, it simply isn't worth it at all. Now that you've started talking about this, keep it up, we'll be glad to keep working with you on this!

 
Old 06-20-2005, 08:45 AM   #5
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Gustav0 HB User
Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

Thanks to everyone who has responded to my posting. You're a good bunch. I'm going to take it one step at a time but your words are music to my ears. For now, I'm trying Internet dating as I figure that if I do suffer rejection, then at least word won't spread around my social group. That's my worst nightmare. Obviously that's still a bit negative but I'm feeling cautious about moving forwards. And of course the stretching, I will do the stretching.

I actually heard a great story at the weekend. A pal was telling me about one of his male friends who is a happy-go-lucky guy but has been sullied by several females for his lack of size. My friend intimated how big his friend is with his hand and I'd guess he's similar size to me. (I pretended to be shocked obviously! No! That's a really small penis!) Anyway, apparently this guy just laughs it off, and now when he bumps into people who bringit up in conversation, he just confesses that it's small but enjoys himself anyway and lives happily ever after. He also is the first to get naked at summer parties apparently! I need to get that comfortable with things!

 
Old 06-20-2005, 09:27 AM   #6
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jv109 HB User
Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gustav0
Thanks to everyone who has responded to my posting. You're a good bunch. I'm going to take it one step at a time but your words are music to my ears. For now, I'm trying Internet dating as I figure that if I do suffer rejection, then at least word won't spread around my social group. That's my worst nightmare. Obviously that's still a bit negative but I'm feeling cautious about moving forwards. And of course the stretching, I will do the stretching.

I actually heard a great story at the weekend. A pal was telling me about one of his male friends who is a happy-go-lucky guy but has been sullied by several females for his lack of size. My friend intimated how big his friend is with his hand and I'd guess he's similar size to me. (I pretended to be shocked obviously! No! That's a really small penis!) Anyway, apparently this guy just laughs it off, and now when he bumps into people who bringit up in conversation, he just confesses that it's small but enjoys himself anyway and lives happily ever after. He also is the first to get naked at summer parties apparently! I need to get that comfortable with things!
Gustav0,
My length is just 4 1/2 inches, with testicles sized like yours too. Like your friend, I also admit to it being small. I'm more comfortable with the girls knowing than other guys. It's only like 2" when soft!
All the other guys look so much bigger!

As for the internet dating, if the subject comes up (pun intended), I wouldn't lie about it.

 
Old 06-20-2005, 09:43 AM   #7
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old coot HB User
Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

Dynamite comes in small packages!

Your biggest problem is your worried about what other people think!

Are all those people going to live with you ?
Then forget what they think, and get out there and date young man.

Everyone of your friends has at one point or another been rejected by a woman.
They may not admit it but it happens to every guy.

It's your personality.confidense, attention to her,and outward appearnce that will get you in the bed of a woman.

Its those same things that will keep you in the bed of a woman.

Practise your kissing,and oral skills
And be honest,and listen to what she is saying and you will never have a problem

 
Old 06-20-2005, 02:48 PM   #8
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Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

That's a great plan...like I said man...its your penis and there isn't anything you can do about it....accept enjoy it! Let whatever you have bring you pleasure and stop denying yourself one of our greatest pleasures! I bet you'll be surprised that no one really cares about the size of your penis....

 
Old 06-21-2005, 04:57 AM   #9
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dg123 HB User
Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

man you do not have to have a big penis. sex is not everything, the love the being together. men think they have to have a big penis or else. when you are aroused and have an orgasam, does it really feel good, if it does you are good to go. take it from me, I have been around let me tell you, I for one have a very big penis and testicles too. now it is hard to find someone to take it but that does not stop me at all. you better be glad and lucky at the same time, you are the perfect size. you will be surprized at the girls that like that, as I say mine is too big for most and that could be a problem as well. and that does not stop me or the girls. the sex is great. you can work with a penis that size it is hard for me. so man keep going you are perfect. go go go.

 
Old 06-21-2005, 09:49 AM   #10
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bust1too HB User
Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

Quote:
Originally Posted by dg123
man you do not have to have a big penis. sex is not everything, the love the being together. men think they have to have a big penis or else. when you are aroused and have an orgasam, does it really feel good, if it does you are good to go. take it from me, I have been around let me tell you, I for one have a very big penis and testicles too. now it is hard to find someone to take it but that does not stop me at all. you better be glad and lucky at the same time, you are the perfect size. you will be surprized at the girls that like that, as I say mine is too big for most and that could be a problem as well. and that does not stop me or the girls. the sex is great. you can work with a penis that size it is hard for me. so man keep going you are perfect. go go go.
This guy is right on. I too was cursed with an unusually large endowment. When I was a teen I was constantly teased and made fun of. This has created some deep insecurities for the rest of my life. I've always been somewhat embarrased of it and went to great lengths to hide it. If I'd get into a relationship that was progressing to becoming sexual, I would end it. I am now in a steady relationship with a girl, we've lived together for a few years. I think the world of her, but sex is just NOT good. She always has to control the penetration and thrust. It is often difficult for me to achieve "completion". I don't blame her, but she is also frustrated because she thinks so much of me. The only person who cares about your size... Is YOU! Almost every other guy out there feels the same way and if they only knew how lucky there were to have an organ that could bring satisfaction to both partners. Enjoy what you've got, I'd trade in a second.

Last edited by bust1too; 06-21-2005 at 10:03 AM.

 
Old 06-21-2005, 12:56 PM   #11
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Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

Guys...this thread should really tell us alot about our "brothers" in this world. Here we are, some of us insecure about the smaller size of our penis, worrying about its size, will it pleasure and please our partner. On the other end we've got guys who are "well endowed" (and yes, some of us have been jealous of you...you guys were the "lucky ones") and yet you're insecure as well. Interesting, seems that a number of us in this spectrum "suffer" from the same thing. Lets learn from this....sounds like a number of us struggle with insecurities over something that we have no control over. Guess there isn't anything "perfect" in the penis department. Thanks for sharing your insecurities and struggles too. I'm glad I grew up and learned that as long as it works and brings me (and my wife) pleasure...that's all that matters!

 
Old 06-21-2005, 02:43 PM   #12
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old coot HB User
Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

I'm a tad above average, and mine has worked fine for almost 35 years


I worried till my first sex and after that I never looked back.

So you guys can worry and keep your confidence down and let others get the girls .
Or you can take your clothes off and jump in!


It's all confidense, You have to believe you will please your women in every way, and then just do it.

If you don't believe in yourself ,the ladies can smell the fear.

 
Old 06-30-2005, 08:53 PM   #13
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Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

I just wanted to let ya’ll know that size really does not matter, and yes this is coming from a woman.

My husband of 7 years is about the same size as you, Gustav, the gods honest truth is that it DOES NOT MATTER TO ME. I fell in love with HIM not the size of he penis. It does bother him but he never let that get in the way of him having sex. I laugh when he says “It has always satisfied me, so what does it matter”. He was 27 when we got married and had had plenty of sexual partners, in fact I don’t know that he was ever turned down because of his size. What mattered to me was how he treated others and me, how caring he was and how much he cared about me. The sex is secondary to all of that.

I can only speak for myself but I think that other women (especially any worth having a relationship with) would agree, that the emotional side of the relationship has much more to do with sex being pleasurable than does the physical stimulation. I know from personal experience that I did not orgasm from intercourse until I was emotionally comfortable, if that makes any sense.

As long as you are a good person and treat a woman well by the time that it comes to her knowing the size of your penis it should not even matter. If it does maybe you don’t need her anyway.

Congrats to all of you for talking about what is bothering you. From my experience men in general do not discuss what is bothering them and I think that is extremely unhealthy.

Best of luck to all of you, sorry I butted in; maybe you did not want a woman’s opinion.

Tara

 
Old 07-29-2005, 08:34 AM   #14
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Cool Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

I guess we have all have a bit of insecurity when it comes to that. I myself have a size that most woman would consider big or above average, but not to the point where I would cause a woman discomfort. However, I have always wanted to be bigger. Being considered above average or big wasn't enough. I wanted huge. I always wanted to be the biggest guy for any girl I was with. I tried some of the pills and I can tell you those don't do anything as far as adding size. They do have a nice side affect of making your erections pretty darn hard, but outside of that there is no size gains. Be happy with what you have. You can't change it. Your siz may never be perfect for you, but I'd be willing to bet it would be perfect for any girl who falls in love with you. In the end that's all that really matters.

 
Old 07-29-2005, 01:41 PM   #15
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Re: Penis problems and overall happiness

Hey Gustav,

Just for the record, I'm a woman and I've probably seen (or felt) about 15 penises in my life. Consider me typical of the girl you might encounter dating. Five inches is totally normal, and i've NEVER been with a guy with testicles the size of PLUMS!

five inches, or even 4 and a half, has been able to bring me to the height of pleasure time and time again. my last boyfriend had a 5 inch penis and that was the PERFECT size for me. i couldn't get enough of him.

it sounds to me like you have about your penis what girls get about their weight--body dysmorphic disorder. it's when your body is totally normal, but your brain focuses on one aspect of your body and can't see it the way it really is.

 
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