i am 20 years old and just broke up with my girlfriend. my problem is that ive never had control over my orgasms... while making out i always get extremely aroused, and sometimes orgasm just from making out and rubbing against her body. If we take things to the next level i last for only seconds. and i cannot control it. i want to last longer for myself and for my partner. i've tried everything and nothing is working for me. WHAT DO I DO to fix this. there are so many things on the internet and im wondering if one of those things works for this problem or i don't even know what to do anymore. This is a huge problem in my life and always is in the back of my mind. if i could fix this my confidence would be through the roof and my life would be so much better. is there something i can take or what? its so embarrassing when a my girl starts pleasuring me and i orgasm within seconds. this problem makes me very uncertain of myself and i become very shy around girls because i don't want to hook up with them and they find out that i don't last long. i am very good at pleasuring women orally i just can't make it when they are orally pleasuring me or we are having sex. and i really want this problem fixed before i meet a new girl. any advice would be great. thanks!
Last edited by saintsteven; 07-12-2005 at 09:19 AM.
Well, if your that senstive I don't know...thats pretty bad..when you get arouse and ejaculate before penetration try not to be so aroused?
try masterbating a couple times a day...when you do and you feel that erge coming on stop before you ejaculate..and hold it for a bout a minute or so start up agian do this at least 3 times before you ejaculate! thats learning to control it!...also you may try a tight fitting condom or an enhancement ring around the base, that cuts off a lot of the senstitvity but becarefull and don't let the ring be to tight you don't wont the circulation to be cut off so just be careful useing the enhancement ring.
theres some type of sensitivity cream reducer out now but I don't know how well that works..its suppose to reduce the senstivity?
also you may want to arouse your partner more before you start the session that way she may have her orgasm real quick to and you don't have to worry bout rather or not your pleasing her or lasting longer...the masterbating works best tho in my opinion.
as you get older that will help also to last longer.
them Dr's don't really care to help a male bout this kind of problem probably because its a problem that your going to have to take care of yourself....this is good that you came to this "Health Boards" for advise theres some very wise and understanding good folks on here that can help you. check back on your post from time to time and you will see that there is a lot of people that will help you
Good Luck!
There are guys out there who last five or ten minutes and believe they have premature ejaculation. They do not. YOU, however, DO. Orgasm before your clothes are even off, orgasm in seconds with penetration -- this IS premature ejaculation.
(Of course, ANYONE can climax from frottage, even when dressed, but clearly what you describe is not a "normal" whoopsie.)
I wrote a long and detailed post here recently about techniques for learning self-control. I suggest you read it.
HOWEVER -- it is COMPLETELY UNTRUE that a doctor cannot help you.
Unfortunately, the general course of action taken in this case is to prescribe antidepressants. These drugs can temper libido and early climax. For many guys, this is a last resort and most docs only suggest it in extreme situations.
Your situation is extreme.
SEE a doc. When you do not have psychological issues and chemical imbalances which antidepressants normally address, they can often be used SHORT TERM for PE, coupled with your own course of self-training.
The suggestion to masturbate frequently and especially prior to planned or suspected sexual encounters is a good one.
The erection ring suggestion MIGHT help, but it can also BACKFIRE in a big way. In addition to providing an aesthetically pleasing, plump penis, an erection ring is meant to INCREASE sensitivity. Clearly, this is the LAST thing you want to do right now. Some guys find these rings cause a loss of sensitivity, but mostly this is after using them for a long time, wearing them TOO TIGHTLY TO BE SAFE, or with MUCH practice. I wouldn't slap one of these babies on for sex without trying it ALONE first. Odds are good your sensitivity will INCREASE when wearing one. Most men, the first times trying an erection ring, orgasm QUICKLY.
Delay sprays and creams are worth a shot -- these are simply topical, safe, anesthetic lotions that help diminish sensitivity. They are NOT a cure. You will still need to practice and work hard to control this. But certainly they are worth consideration.
But most importantly, dude... SEE a doc. You CAN be helped.
There are guys out there who last five or ten minutes and believe they have premature ejaculation. They do not. YOU, however, DO. Orgasm before your clothes are even off, orgasm in seconds with penetration -- this IS premature ejaculation.
(Of course, ANYONE can climax from frottage, even when dressed, but clearly what you describe is not a "normal" whoopsie.)
I wrote a long and detailed post here recently about techniques for learning self-control. I suggest you read it.
HOWEVER -- it is COMPLETELY UNTRUE that a doctor cannot help you.
Unfortunately, the general course of action taken in this case is to prescribe antidepressants. These drugs can temper libido and early climax. For many guys, this is a last resort and most docs only suggest it in extreme situations.
Your situation is extreme.
SEE a doc. When you do not have psychological issues and chemical imbalances which antidepressants normally address, they can often be used SHORT TERM for PE, coupled with your own course of self-training.
The suggestion to masturbate frequently and especially prior to planned or suspected sexual encounters is a good one.
The erection ring suggestion MIGHT help, but it can also BACKFIRE in a big way. In addition to providing an aesthetically pleasing, plump penis, an erection ring is meant to INCREASE sensitivity. Clearly, this is the LAST thing you want to do right now. Some guys find these rings cause a loss of sensitivity, but mostly this is after using them for a long time, wearing them TOO TIGHTLY TO BE SAFE, or with MUCH practice. I wouldn't slap one of these babies on for sex without trying it ALONE first. Odds are good your sensitivity will INCREASE when wearing one. Most men, the first times trying an erection ring, orgasm QUICKLY.
Delay sprays and creams are worth a shot -- these are simply topical, safe, anesthetic lotions that help diminish sensitivity. They are NOT a cure. You will still need to practice and work hard to control this. But certainly they are worth consideration.
But most importantly, dude... SEE a doc. You CAN be helped.
Hi,
I have to disgree with you on Doctors helping him with his precum jutters/earily orgasm!....Theres not a respectable MD going to prescribe a drug for that type of problem, if the problem was reverse yeah they would probably.
and creams that reduces the senstivity..is just that they reduse the sentive penis (a numb like feeling) and it don't have anything to do as far as not substaing an erection....they are senstive redusers!
The ring will do the same reduse the senstivity and not the erection if it is place around the penis correct...thats why there called enhancement rings for better longer duration and mantain an erection for more than say a couple minutes.
Not meaning a 2 way street here>
Seeing Doctor or sex therapist will help mentally for this type of problem but thats bout all....in my opinion.
Disagree all you like, Chevy: it's a FACT that antidepressant therapy for premature ejaculation is quite commonly prescribed. Your information is incorrect, sorry.
Also, as I stated, an erection ring can have the exact opposite effect, causing a man to climax even faster. I also stated that it CAN reduce sensation, but generally it promotes a firmer erection and MORE sensation, leading to a faster orgasm.
Not sure where you are getting your information from, but it's far off the mark.
If a man goes to a physician to seek help for a problem and the doc has no interest in working to find a solution -- that guy should get a second opinion ASAP.
For the record, I would ONLY recommend antidepressant therapy as a last resort for extreme cases -- such as this one.
Disagree all you like, Chevy: it's a FACT that antidepressant therapy for premature ejaculation is quite commonly prescribed. Your information is incorrect, sorry.
Also, as I stated, an erection ring can have the exact opposite effect, causing a man to climax even faster. I also stated that it CAN reduce sensation, but generally it promotes a firmer erection and MORE sensation, leading to a faster orgasm.
Not sure where you are getting your information from, but it's far off the mark.
If a man goes to a physician to seek help for a problem and the doc has no interest in working to find a solution -- that guy should get a second opinion ASAP.
For the record, I would ONLY recommend antidepressant therapy as a last resort for extreme cases -- such as this one.
I think maybe your confused? bout the numbing creams and ring enhancement? "erection ring?" ... I said (enhancement) ring...theres a difference! you maybe meaning a ('**** ring)? both rings will be bad if there not placed correctly...if to tight? thats of course a no no!
Anyway when a penis is numb theres less sensation, thats what an enhancement ring is for...to keep the erection and numb it at the same time, it's only ment to enhance the love making.
I've used a ring and had to remove it before the session was over so I could orgasm...experimenting with it!..so I know they work if used proper.
I got my information from past experinces and from sex educational classes and from books.
As far as the anti-depressants, sure them being prescribe for depression obviously...and also different behavior problems such as bad habbits as smoking, weight loss, prenious anmia ect,,ect,,but not some one with this type of problem? I'm not saying its right or wrong? just that I never heard of it !
Perhaps its a gentic? most young guys have this problem, maybe not as bad as this guy but having precum or "premature ejaculation" is a problem he will have to fix on his own..."All DR's CAN DO IS JUST ADVISE ON WHAT MAY OR MAY NOT WORK"..Like the "stop and start method". "masterbate method" ect,,,ect,,, sex therapist would seem to help more than a MD?..Thats probably what the Dr will do refer...the sex therapist!
Furthermore what works for some may not work for others.
