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Old 07-13-2005, 02:44 AM   #1
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prague HB User
perhaps straining? or not.

Ok, I am going to make a clean timeline just so I can sort this out and not get into the personal areas such as relationships etc.

say.. 4 months ago.

Seeing a girl, sexually active and everything is great. Sex is lasting 30-40 minutes, I am staying hard the entire time etc...

3 months ago.

Seeing same girl (I should redefine this as I might get bad comments. I am "with" the girl, basically we are friends with benifits and she knew that I was active with perhaps one girl during this time and she was fine with it). Now back to the timeline of 3 months ago (1 month after I first became sexually active with my friend who was aware that it was not going to progress into anything serious)

We are still having sex probably once every two weeks and all the sudden I can't perform. I mean, I am aroused at first but I slap the condom on and well it just seems that "it" loses interest while my brain is screaming what is going on this girl is beautiful.

2 Months ago.

I start a relationship with a girl, or at least attempted. We became sexually active and it happened again. Aroused at first then put the condom on and nothing. This girl is my type to the T so it's no sexual problem there. Basically from there it goes to when I saw her again and I tried to have sex with her and it still happened (although I was able to perform with oral sex [both times I made excuses up, first was that I was stressed and not in the mood and second was that I ripped the condom when I opened it and didn't have anymore, she probably knew something was up then so she performed oral sex and it was fine although it didn't last as long as I usually do. Actually I was embarrassed that it only lasted about 3 minutes. Although I hadn't recieved oral sex in awhile it had been strictly sex so perhaps thats it)].

Follow events more than the dates it seems a little wrong to me now that I re-read it.

Ok, so here is the problem. Well, actually I think you know the problem I just don't know why it happens. It can't be labido can it? I am only 19! It can't be that I am not attracted to these girls, because I am very much attracted to them. I don't believe testosterone can just drop right? I mean I had healthy normal sexual activities since I was 17 so I am sure that all that is fine. I just don't understand, and I am just at the end with this. It's becoming a nuisance and I fear that if it persists it will develop into some psychological phobia.

Also, I feel a sort of tension in the left side of my penis and the area above it. It feels that it is strained but this only happens sometimes during the day. That could just be me flexing a muscle because I am overthinking this.

Last edited by prague; 07-13-2005 at 02:44 AM.

 
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Old 07-13-2005, 04:08 AM   #2
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Lance2 HB UserLance2 HB UserLance2 HB User
Re: perhaps straining? or not.

Does your penis work fine when you masturbate? If so...you know it works and this stuff is really all about your fear of failure or inadequacy....this is actually quite common, not all guys are willing to own up to it or discuss it. Putting on a condom will often cause us to lose our erection and working to get things going again is fine and can be quite fun if you let her help! Unfortunately once we have an erection problem or lose it like you did...our head kicks into high gear and we get all freaked out about it and worry that it'll happen again. Then a viscious cycle kicks in....and it just keeps happening. Stop over-thinking this and keep working. If you're comfortable explain this to your g/f and ask for her help and patience. Try forgetting that you even have a penis...focus so much of your energy on her and not worrying about your erection....just enjoy the moment with foreplay and dont' put pressure on yourself to perfrom....that can only make this worse. I know its tough...forget the past few times and focus only on the one you're involved in at the moment....I bet you'll be surprised....and so will she! About that pain, probably just a pulled muscle or something. Do you do any heavy lifting or working out? If so, that may be the cause. Keep us posted and "get back on the horse" LOL

 
Old 07-13-2005, 09:06 AM   #3
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prague HB User
Re: perhaps straining? or not.

thanks for the advice. Yes I can maintain a full erection while masturbating. I suppose your right, it may be some psychological factor, I just don't see what could have turned it on. As for the strain, I do lift although I have stopped for a week as my surgery is coming up.

 
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