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Old 07-17-2005, 01:50 AM   #1
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is viagra a possibilty?

i recently discovered that i cannot get an erection for long enough to have intercourse iwth my girlfriend. I am 19, and although i have had sex since i was 17, i didn't have any significant trouble that i remember back then! Now, this summer i was staying with my new girlfriend for a little while, and after she was on top of me, i realized i wasn't hard. I thought it was just nerves, because i have always been severaly attracted and arroused by her, so i wasn't too worried. but, after a full week of foreplay, including giving and recieved oral, i still couldn't get hard long enough to put a condom on. One time i had an erection long enough during oral to have an orgasm, but apart from that i had a big softy. Obviously my girl was not happy! She felt i wasn't hard because i wasn't attracted to her, but that wasn't the case at all. At first i was nervous so i could understand my problem, but after i had preformed oral on her (and really enjoyed it) i was sure my nervousness had gone away....but still the problem remained.

now i won't see her again until next spring, and i DO NOT want a repeat of what happened to me this summer. Should i see a doctor about this? Is viagra or something along those lines recommended? I really don't think it is a psychological problem, because i felt only the standard nervousness, and was really turned on by her. Even more weird, when i was with her i couldn't get hard by masterbating, or when i woke up in the morning....which to me is inexplicable!! before i stayed with her, as well as now that she is gone, i can get hard to masterbate or have a morning erection. however, i just couldn't get hard while i was with her at all. i really need some advice here, because i want to be able to perform well, and don't want my girl to think it is her fault. please give me some advice...

 
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Old 07-17-2005, 06:35 AM   #2
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Lance2 HB UserLance2 HB UserLance2 HB User
Re: is viagra a possibilty?

Hey man....I'm afraid this one is all in your head. I don't think its nerves though...you're attracted to this girl, alot. My guess is that this is totally about performance anxiety and wanting it to be so good for both of you that you pressured yourself into making it right. Once you tried and did'nt have that nice erection you're used to...you freaked and tried harder, got worried and frustrated...and that can make things worse. Unless there is some medical reason for problems with erections, no need to take it. I can't imagine that any doc would prescribe it for a 19 year old...unless there was a severe medical need. Besides man, it works...you can get that penis up for masturbation before and since...another reason why this was all about wanting it to be so right. Only thing I can say man is to sit tight until spring (that sucks too) and when you're together again. Don't give that penis a thought...forget about the past and focus all of your thoughts and energy on HER....make foreplay last, make sure she has a great time and let your body control what happens down below. If you get your head into it and start thinking or worrying about it....I can promise you this will happen again! Assure her now that this has nothing to do with her and everything to do with how bad you wanted her and how bad you wanted things to be right and that the pressure caused some anxiety...you can also tell her that you've talked to some folks and that this is actually quite common. Hang in there man, and stop worrying....you know it works, let it!

 
Old 07-17-2005, 11:45 AM   #3
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Re: is viagra a possibilty?

i agree with you totally, and i will try my hardest to concentrate on her, but if it happenes again, what can i do!?!

 
Old 07-17-2005, 06:10 PM   #4
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Re: is viagra a possibilty?

Stop masturbating. Really. You won't die if you don't masturbate, I've never heard of any credible evidence that anything medically bad happens if you don't masturbate. But depending on how often you masturbate, and whether or not you're using porn to masturbate, you are conditioning yourself to certain circumstances that probably just aren't the same when you're with your girlfriend.

Just my $0.02

Z

 
Old 07-19-2005, 12:57 AM   #5
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Renn HB User
Re: is viagra a possibilty?

<<I am 19, and although i have had sex since i was 17, i didn't have any significant trouble that i remember back then!...>>

Hey, Jake... First let me say that what you get from this site is just personal takes on things, not official professional counseling! People give their honest thoughts on what might work & what might not, and not everyone always agrees with each other, needless to say! Which is OK -- at least you get some input, some thoughts to turn over in your mind. And the knowledge that a few people are actually thinking about you & your situation, and wishing you the best.

As for your "title question," I think that in a situation like yours a doctor might indeed recommend an "erection booster" like Viagra (there's a much improved variety called Cialis) on a temporary, therapeutic basis. Someone else in some other post expressed that thought--that an erection enhancer of this type might well help someone get across the bridge so that if the problem WAS psychological, they could regain their confidence in themselves, once they were able to get their key member to "straighten up and fly right" with a little medical help, and then they might well be able to go back to flying under their own power, and not need the booster any more. Maybe so, maybe not -- I don't know -- but it at least sounds reasonable to me. And of course there's always the possibility that there IS a physical/medical problem to be addressed, not just psychological.

From your statement quoted above about having had sex since you were 17, I couldn't quite tell whether you meant you've been having intercourse since then, or have been masturbating since then -- ? -- which makes a difference in the situation, since I'm not sure whether you've been able to have an erection in connection with intercourse at all yet.

I would not even think of recommending that you stop masturbating. Whatever problem you're having with "getting it up" or "keeping it up" with a gf has nothing to do with your having sex with yourself, and you certainly shouldn't deprive yourself of that very natural, normal, and very necessary sexual pleasure and release. You'd only increase your feeling of frustration---psychologically and physically. Keep having your own private pleasures while dealing with the other situation--as often as the urge comes round! Relationships are definitely important; nevertheless, an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm....... as much so if it occurs in your hand, as if it occurs elsewhere... And besides, you're producing a lot of fluids that need to be disposed of!

Best ---

 
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