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Old 07-29-2005, 03:45 AM   #1
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ryann117 HB User
Re: Masturbation questions

I have a 15year old brother and we have always been very close to each other.recently,he told me that he's been masturbating for quite some time and is worrried about his future sexual life.he's afraid that he might not be able to have childrens.well,i did gave him some advice about his problems and told him not to worry too much because masturbating is a normal thing.but somehow im actually quite little worried by the fact that he's started masturbating ever since he's 10 years old!!!!i've heard ppl saying that masturbation might cause a person to lose interest on the other sex,is that true?im really worried!

Here are some questions of mine:

1.He told me that while he's masturbating,he tends to ejaculate very early,like about a minute or so when masturbating.Is this a sign of premature ejaculation?

2.Will a person lose his interest on the opposite sex when masturbating too often?

3.He also told me that the semen that he ejaculated after masturbation only managed to fill his palm and not enough to leak out from it.this worries me alot as i ejaculate much more semen than him.......
Is this due to the fact of his young age?will his sperm count increase when he grows older?

4.Is he still capable of having children with so little semen ejaculated?

5.Because i only started masturbating at the age of 16 and i have never experienced all the problems he had,i cant give him some good advices and im not sure whether its safe to masturbate at the age of 10.will this harm his health?

Pls help.

 
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Old 07-29-2005, 06:52 AM   #2
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sparkleflower HB User
Re: Masturbation questions

Quote:
Originally Posted by ryann117
he's started masturbating ever since he's 10 years old!!!!i've heard ppl saying that masturbation might cause a person to lose interest on the other sex,is that true?im really worried!

No, not true at all. And we're all sexual beings right from birth, so age doesn't matter; most people masturbate from toddlerhood ;-) He's fine. And it's normal to have interest or not in the other sex; either way is fine and perfectly healthy.

1.He told me that while he's masturbating,he tends to ejaculate very early,like about a minute or so when masturbating.Is this a sign of premature ejaculation?

Probably not. Most teens tend to train themselves to come as quickly as possible, to avoid getting caught and because the orgasm is pretty compelling. That doesn't mean he'll have issues with a partner, but still I would advise him to at least occasionally try to take his time - tune into his body, pay attention to the point of no return. The more he knows about his body and his response, the better the sex will be. Also, encourage him not to focus exclusively on genital stimulation; take time to explore the rest of his body, too. I would also urge him to masturbate at least occasionally in ways that will mimic partner sex, i.e. with plenty of lube and a looser grip.

2.Will a person lose his interest on the opposite sex when masturbating too often?

Again, no. There's no such thing as too often, anyway. It doesn't matter how often he masturbates, whether it's 10 times a day or 10 times a month, as long as it's pleasurable for him and he's not ignoring other things in his life to stay home and masturbate. Like if he's not skipping school or avoiding friends in order to stay home and masturbate. And even then, it's not necessarily a problem.

3.He also told me that the semen that he ejaculated after masturbation only managed to fill his palm and not enough to leak out from it.this worries me alot as i ejaculate much more semen than him.......
Is this due to the fact of his young age?will his sperm count increase when he grows older?

The amount of semen he ejaculates has nothing to do with his sperm count. Sperm account for such a tiny amount of ejaculate, that after a vasectomy you still can't tell the difference in volume. And the amount you describe is fine; it's usually only around a teaspoon or two to a couple of tablespoons. Only in porn movies do you see buckets of come, lol.

4.Is he still capable of having children with so little semen ejaculated?

I kinda answered that above, but just to repeat, that's not too little semen, and volume has nothing to do with sperm count/fertility.

5.Because i only started masturbating at the age of 16 and i have never experienced all the problems he had,i cant give him some good advices and im not sure whether its safe to masturbate at the age of 10.will this harm his health?

Not at all. Masturbation's totally safe at any age. As I noted above, we're all sexual beings from birth. Most toddlers masturbate :-) Also, I don't think your brother has any problems, just a lack of information :-)

I just wanted to say that I think it's great you're here, advocating for him and finding out information to help him along. It sounds like you have a great relationship with him :-) A really great book for you both to read is "Great Sex", by Michael Castleman. He advocates slow, relaxed, non-genitally focused sex, which reduces anxiety, promotes tremendous pleasure, and is the kind of sex most women *love*. I can't recommend it highly enough. However, I also know that it's not so easy for many teens to have books on sexuality at home, so you might want to take a look at it at the library, if nothing else.

 
Old 07-29-2005, 07:10 PM   #3
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daqa HB User
Re: Masturbation questions

I agree with most of what sparkleflower wrote EXCEPT for the part about us being sexual beings from birth. we aren't sexual at birth, we are curious of our bodies and feelings during toddlerhood but we don't have any concept of sexuality until much later.feeling sexual toward others doesn't happen until we are late pre-teen to early teen. engaging in sexual behavior with others doesn't cross our minds until our brains are more mature. that statement that we are sexual at infancy gives me the creeps, it reminds me of the NAMBLA statement which literally makes my gut wrench!

but anyway-your brother has absolutely nothing to worry about with the masturbation! he is normal and will be fine!

 
Old 07-29-2005, 08:46 PM   #4
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sparkleflower HB User
Re: Masturbation questions

Being sexual from birth has nothing to do with adults, and I'm certainly *not* advocating adults having sex with children. Quite the opposite. But children are indeed sexual beings and are often sexual among themselves, and that's fine. It is just how human beings are.

 
Old 07-30-2005, 03:55 AM   #5
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Lance2 HB UserLance2 HB UserLance2 HB User
Re: Masturbation questions

Hey Ryan, none of the questions you raise are going to be problems at all. Your bro sounds normal to me and alot of guys do start early. Both of you are in your sexual prime and the frequency of masturbation is fine. The fact that he's not ejaculating alot is related to the frequency and that'll change. Finishing quickly is also common at his age and that isn't a sign of premature ejaculation...something WE ALL deal with from time to time. And giving you a niece of nephew to spoil at some time isn't going to be an issue either, matter of fact...he's got enough in those small ejaculations to get that job done! You're a great big bro man, thanks for asking the questions. Now go have a chat with him and tell him what you've learned, its good you guys are close enough to have these conversations...I always wanted a brother, just never had one.

 
Old 07-30-2005, 11:30 AM   #6
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daqa HB User
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparkleflower
Being sexual from birth has nothing to do with adults, and I'm certainly *not* advocating adults having sex with children. Quite the opposite. But children are indeed sexual beings and are often sexual among themselves, and that's fine. It is just how human beings are.
well, obviously you and I completely disagree on the subject of we being sexual at birth! but to clear things up for others interested in this discussion:

[ deleted ]

the infant/toddler /small child brain is not equipped with this functionality until pre-teen/pre-pubescent years. being sexual and just exploring our own bodies as children are vastly different!

and as a parent of 2 toddlers I would also like to add that this rather troubles me:

<<I just wanted to say that I think it's great you're here, advocating for him and finding out information to help him along. It sounds like you have a great relationship with him :-) A really great book for you both to read is "Great Sex", by Michael Castleman. He advocates slow, relaxed, non-genitally focused sex, which reduces anxiety, promotes tremendous pleasure, and is the kind of sex most women *love*. I can't recommend it highly enough. However, I also know that it's not so easy for many teens to have books on sexuality at home, so you might want to take a look at it at the library, if nothing else.>>

this is something that I find highly offensive and thoughtless - as adults, we have an obligation to preserve the innocence of children-a 10 year old has NO business reading a book about sex, furthermore I think advocating the older AND younger brother looking at this book in secrecy is irresponsible.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 07-30-2005 at 12:23 PM. Reason: This board is for your own writing only. Do not paste text from other sources.

 
Old 07-30-2005, 10:10 PM   #7
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ryann117 HB User
Re: Masturbation questions

Thank u guys sooo much for all the informations!!!im so relieved after reading ur replies.looks like i worried too much,lol.i think i should have a talk with him ltr when he's back frm his football game.once again,i want to thank u guys again.now that i can give him some good advices,im really happy!

 
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