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Old 08-27-2005, 08:58 AM   #1
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Drinking & sex

My boyfriend and I are both 24 years old. I'm a normal 24 year old female, never had any problems when it comes to sex and neither has my boyfriend. Yet lately when we have sex and he's been drinking, we can have sex for a good 3 hours. I can give him oral sex, I can give him a hand job, I can have sex with him in every position known to man but there is no way for him to have an orgasm and ejaculate. I do not know what the problem is. It is happening more and more frequently. In an effort to of course not make himself feel bad about the situation, he decided that it is now my fault because I no longer am able to please him. I try to tell him that it is merely the liquor and how drunk he is getting that's causing this problem. Yet I'm not so sure. It happened twice this week when we went out, he got extremely intoxicated and then when we had sex, I finally stopped after 3 hours because I was beginning to get sore and he was no closer to finishing than what he was when we started. Having him get turned on is not a problem, but him having an orgasm and ejaculating is a problem. This has happened about 4 times in the past 2-3 weeks where we've been drinking and he's gotten intoxicated and after hours of sex and oral sex, he has not been able to finish. It makes me feel like I can't please him and like I said, to make himself feel better he says it's my fault. I've been with him for 4 years now and NEVER had a problem pleasing him at all. Usually I have to stop because he wants to last a lil bit longer. Now we're having this problem.

For the guys out there...... my question is do you think it's probably just the alcohol? The past few times it's happened he has been like extremely intoxicated, more so than he usually gets when he drinks. That's why I think it's the liquor. When he's sober sex is no longer than 1/2 hour. When he's usually drunk it's like an hour - hour and a half, but to be 3 hours and still not done, I think it's the liquor, but I'm not sure. So I want some guys opinions please!

Thanks so much!

 
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Old 08-27-2005, 10:23 AM   #2
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Re: Drinking & sex

I am concerned reading your post - and this is only my interpretation of wha tis writtenand maybe you can correct me if i am drawing the wrong onclusion. Are you only having sex when drunk. How often do you have sex while sober?
Is it a problem when he is sober? ever? quite frankly I am surprised he can perform at all while intoxicated to the degree that it sounds to me.

First thing, If you have sex when sober and things go ok then obviously there is nothing wrong with attraction. Judging by the fact that when he is drunk he is able to become aroused and stay aroused - it tells me that you turn him on. Now it is possible in his influenced mental capacity in a state of drunkeness that his focus and concentration are right out the window which would definately affect his performance and ability to orgasm.
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Old 08-27-2005, 10:54 AM   #3
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ethera HB User
Re: Drinking & sex

I think it's the drinking. You both would know more about how it affects performance if drinking was set aside for a while ( like a few days, weeks or even a month ).

Obviously your boyfriend has some tolerance for alcohol. And, it sounds like he has a pretty good natural limit sense. i.e. it sounds like he loses interest in drinking before it can make him sick. This is a good thing.

Obviously, such 'natural limit' also helps him stop before he drinks to the point where he'd not be able to sustain an erection, such you are able to get to the intercourse stage together.


Still, to refrain from drinking alcohol for a while might be a good idea.

 
Old 08-27-2005, 10:55 AM   #4
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Re: Drinking & sex

First I have to respond about the alcohol part of the question. When I met my boyfriend, we drank every night, to the extent of getting extremely intoxicated. We never had a couple beers and called it good, we'd aim to get drunk. We went through the party state, we were both 21. In the past 6 months however, he's cut back on drinking to maybe 2 nights a week, usually weekends and on rare occasions we might drink during the week.

No, sex is never a problem when we are sober. Some weeks we have sex every single night, others it's like every other night. Every other time we do have sex when we're sober there's no problem ever.

My question merely was if a guy drinks that much - is it a common problem that they can't ejaculate, that's all. Like last night he drank 1/2 a fifth of Jim Beam and a long island iced tea. He has such a high tolerance he wasn't even drunk til after he drank the long island, suprisingly enough. So that's why I'm curious if it's a common problem for guys that if they drink alot then they can't perform.

Thanks for your input.

 
Old 08-27-2005, 03:13 PM   #5
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Re: Drinking & sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by rebecca931980
My question merely was if a guy drinks that much - is it a common problem that they can't ejaculate, that's all ... I'm curious if it's a common problem for guys that if they drink alot then they can't perform.
Of course it is!

I was going to add "everyone knows that" but obviously not. it's very common, and gets mentioned all the time. Even Shakespeare made comment on it in one of his plays. Something about alcohol increasing the desire but lessening the ability (to mutilate the passage).

Sex when you're drunk sounds like a great idea, but for guys, it can quite often end up a sloppy embarrassment. And tsk tsk on your bf for trying to blame you. You've got nothing to do with it. If he wants to function properly, he's got to ease up on the drinking.

 
Old 08-27-2005, 04:03 PM   #6
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Re: Drinking & sex

I didn't know that either till maybe sometime last year.
I personally don't like or read Shakespeare...so I wouldn't know about these references, haha.

But anyway..I had no clue about alcohol doing that either.
Every time my boyfriend and I get intoxicated (no matter how much) he's able to perform. We have great sex sober, but it's even better when we're drunk because he can last longer...and he always ejaculates.
So I never knew this till I had a conversation about this with a couple of guy friends. They were saying how sex while drunk was impossible. I find that strange.

I guess some guys can handle it and others can't. It depends on the person.
I'm glad my boyfriend is one of those who can handle it.

 
Old 08-27-2005, 05:49 PM   #7
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super fluke HB User
Re: Drinking & sex

things like that definitely effect performance. sometimes when i've been drinking more than a few beers i can't even get an erection.

i had your boyfriend's same problem when i started taking Paxil a few years ago. i would have sex with my girlfriend for hours. literally to the point of exhaustion where we'd just give up and pass out.

an anti-anxiety medication i used to take called Ativan (Lorazepam) would also make me unable to get an erection.

ppl underestimate the effect that pure health can have on your body!

 
Old 08-27-2005, 06:36 PM   #8
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Re: Drinking & sex

My boyfriend can't orgasm at all if he's been drinking, and usually neither can I.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 10:54 AM   #9
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exportagold HB User
Re: Drinking & sex

I have the same problem myself, and I don't even have a girlfriend so it isn't even an issue. When I have drunken-sexcapades I usually don't even end up getting off. I can go for HOUURS.

 
Old 08-30-2005, 01:44 AM   #10
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Re: Drinking & sex

Are U Beautiful,if Not This Is The One Reasons,and Maybe Ur Partner Having Some Sex To Others,i Mean Lady

 
Old 09-04-2005, 10:37 AM   #11
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Is definitely because of drinking there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and if he wanted to he would be able to finish is all in the mind just when a guy has been drinking well me anyways your totally relaxed and sensitivity is lessened down there and gives ability to go for hours but if a guy wants to orgasm is all in mind. he is just trying to show you that he is THE MAN and can last for hours. he should not try to make you feel bad about it at all. is him not you. most definitely

Last edited by Mod-S4; 09-04-2005 at 10:42 AM. Reason: Note edit to your post. Please use proper terminology.

 
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