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Old 09-17-2005, 06:55 AM   #1
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here4support HB User
Unhappy I think he is under stress???



My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. We've been together for about 4yrs.

He was never one of those guys that wanted sex 24/7 or was always all about it like most guys are. He is just that way. Sort of layed back, and can go with out sex for about 2 weeks....(normal or not, I think it just depends on the guy)

I know all of you can read this and interpret it however you want to, but I can assure you my husband still finds me attractive and hasn't lost interest in me.

My question is this: Lately when we go to have sex, sometimes it is great (if it has been a long time in between) and other times like last night-we start off fine, and he gets arroused, but then when he pulls me to go on top and actually start having intercourse-he becomes limp. It is very frustrating for me.

He is 33 and I'm 29. He is diabetic and I know that his meds can be a part of this and then his diabeties also. We have been under some stress for money lately, and he is working a lot of overtime. (I also work full time).

We wanted to try to start a family but Im so afraid I'll end up to be 40yrs old with out children, because of our sex life. It takes a lot to inpregnate a woman (if you are aware of the chances they aren't very high) so having sex more then 2 times a month is required....and on the good days.....(when she is ovulating)

Anyway, last night and today are good days in my cycle and well yesterday as you already know didn't work.....I'm afraid we won't even try today.

Do you think this is my fault? Am I putting too much stress on him for this? He is the one that said he wanted to start a family and we talked and both agreed it would be a good time, we've been married for a year and both of us feel we are ready to begin our family.

I feel so frustrated. I even asked him last night if it is anything I'm doing or not doing, and he said no, that it wasn't me. I ask him what he would like to see me do during sex, but he said I"m fine the way I am. The thing is, he isn't very open about talking about things when it comes to sex, he is more private so it is hard I mean there are things I'd like to try with him, but he is too ticklish. I'd also like to see him masturbate but he would NEVER do it in front of me.

On the flip side I couldn't do it in front of him so I can see his point.

Anyway I'd appreciate any help or suggestions you can offer.

 
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Old 09-17-2005, 10:12 AM   #2
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Re: I think he is under stress???

I think both of you should consider masturbating in front of each other, it can do wonders for arrousal-- both of you should talk about this very seriously.

 
Old 09-17-2005, 10:45 AM   #3
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Re: I think he is under stress???

This is certainly a lot to consider. Perhaps with you on top her doesn't have the sensation or the control that he needs to keep his erection. Perhaps he simply is less enthused than you would think he "should". By your accounts, you seem OK with this. Except about having children - I wish you'd tell my kids that getting pregant was difficult...they seem to have it very much the "getting pregant thing" down pat.

 
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