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Old 12-23-2005, 05:56 PM   #1
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demeggy HB User
retarded ejaculation?

Hi,

I'm a healthy 20yr old guy, and come here hoping someone can specify what it is Im doing wrong. I'm fairly certain Im bisexual (I've had several sexual partners now, 6 of them female, 2 of them male), and I find I'm having a problem with ejaculation during sex with women.
I've only ever had actual penetrative sex with a male once, and it was basically experimental, but I still can say on retrospect I didnt like it that much. Not because of pain or the likes, more specifically because being honest, it revolted me.
That was a couple of years ago, and all my female experiences have been inbetween then.
To the gist of this post, I find it difficult ejaculating inside a woman. Ive just met this girl, and shes great, and Im really bothered I wont be able to "let myself go", regardless of the fact I can get a quite decent erection and keep it up for quite a while.
The last time I had sex (about a fortnight ago?), ages passed before I actually pretended to climax.
I have a feeling not only my problem with my sexuality contributes, but also the fact I masturbate daily.
I think its got something to do with my penis being unsensitive to the feeling of female genitalia?
To sum up, Im actually concerned my retarded ejaculation has some deep pyschological problems with my sexuality and my 'addiction' to masturbation.
It'd be logical to say give up masturbation, but when youre as horny as I get and youre in a routine, its a pain in the arse.

Cheers

 
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Old 12-24-2005, 04:21 AM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Kent, England
Posts: 807
SpunkyStuart HB User
Re: retarded ejaculation?

Firstly let me say that your sexuality is fairly normal, a lot of people might argue but everybodies sexuality moves across a scale of Straight via Bisexual to Gay, or vice versa or anywhere in between. Some people are (allegedly) 100% straight, some are (again allegedly) 100% gay. And of course there are the majority of people who are somewhere in between. This also may change possibly several times in a lifetime as well. And of course different things turn different people on!

I don't think masturbating once a day is anywhere near being addicted to it and I certainly wouldnt suggest you have any need to give it up, I would say that was absolutely normal for a guy your age. And you should be able to climax a few more times at certain times if you are really turned on by a sexual encounter. But you are begining to worry about it, and as soon as you do that your head starts questioning everyting which makes it difficult to climax.

You are concerned about climaxing therefore you dont! There are a few issues that you have in your head that are making this difficult for you - and a small doubt over your sexuality is actually a big doubt in your head. There are social pressures not to be bisexual or gay, and that pressure makes you conform by trying to be hetrosexual. I would say not to worry about this, and go with your head and with the flow. Do what you enjoy doing, and other things follow naturally.

When I was young I grew up knowing I was gay, but in my early 20's tried to conform to society by getting a girlfiend (freudian typo LOL) but it was not good, sex involved thoughts of her brother in order to make me climax so when she chucked me I wasnt bothered, but then it was about 5 years later that I accidentaly ended up in my best friends (turns out he is Bi) bed giving him oral sex! Wow, I knew that was what I wanted! Being pretty unexperienced having only had oral sex with an older man when I was at school I didnt really know anything or want anal sex and that didnt happen for a few more years. So what I am saying is that it doesnt all come at once - the great revelation of knowing what you want. Your mind might know before you do, so if that is what is happening then it is probably better not to fight it and go with the flow.

 
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