It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - Men Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-27-2006, 08:23 PM   #1
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2
someguy84 HB User
Question 21/suddenly having trouble maintaining erection

Hi,

I'm a 21 year old male and in the past week or two I have been having trouble maintaining an erection. I have never had this problem before, but I am worried because I just started dating the awesome girl and I don't want her to feel that I am inadequate. This may seem weird but it seemed to start one night when I was with my gf. We were making out and stuff on her couch and she wanted to have sex. When we tried I couldn't hold my erection long enough to actually have sex. After this I was extremely worried and became very stressed about the whole thing. Now, I have only been in one other serious relationship and have only had sex maybe 5 or so times. In my past relationship I was used to other things instead of sex such as oral but my new gf is for the most part just used to having sex and not experienced in the other. I think when we first started making out I was expecting her to give me a handjob or something and when she didn't I was a little let down inside or turned off maybe. She more or less wanted to go straight to sex and I'm not used to that. I think maybe when she wanted to have sex in some way it freaked me out or something I'm not sure. We talked about it together but I'm not sure if it helped me or not.

The weird thing is that since then I am having trouble keeping an erection even by myself when masturbating. I'm able to get an erection but I lose it very fast if I'm not stimulating myself enough. I also have not been getting random erections thoroughout the day while thinking of sex etc. It just seems that I am less interested in sex or something. I am very frustruated because before this day I don't ever remember any problems getting an erection. I have no idea why this is happening so any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Last edited by someguy84; 01-28-2006 at 09:46 AM.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to someguy84 For This Useful Post:
casperslee (12-31-2011)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-27-2006, 10:54 PM   #2
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 19
ftpphix HB User
Re: 21/suddenly having trouble maintaining erection

Hey dude, Im 21 m also and going through similar problems and all I can think of that's causing it is stress and depression which I am suffering from and have for an extended period. I couldnt hold a proper erection the last time i tried to have sex and it was very humiliating and I lost the girl because of it. I got my testosterone levels checked and they are lower than what they should be. Low testosterone can lead to weak erections and retarded ejacualtion etc. I am notcing my erections are getting better by myself but I am going to get another blood test to see if testosterone levels have improved. I'd go and get a bloodtest and see if everything is ok. If it is I think maybe you're just nervous or uncomfterable and there isn't a real problem. Goodluck

-Robbie-

 
Old 01-28-2006, 07:26 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Kent, England
Posts: 807
SpunkyStuart HB User
Re: 21/suddenly having trouble maintaining erection

It is natural to be put off if things dont happen how you are used to them happening, or if there is something at the back of your head saying something that maybe not what you are thinking! Your sub concious may be saying more here than you know.

Look at some facts as you presented them - you are not very experienced even from your last g.f and now you have an "awsome" girl you have put her on a pedestal! She is more experienced than you, and wants to move at a faster pace than you are used to. You are desparate to not only perform but to impress as well.

So unfortunately your body told the truth and admitted that it had a problem here in a most obvious way. Stress is the easiest way to kill an erection!

You need to take stock of the situation. Work out in your mind what you are after and then set a plan to follow this through. Talk to this girl and suggest that you back away from having full sex but go back to basices. Cuddle, kiss, hug, do this for a couple of dates so you feel comfortable together. Then maybe move on to a bit more, maybe fondling her intimately, work up to maybe a bit of oral depending on how you are both feeling.
The key is not to get so built up about it in your mind that when it is about to happen your head is miles away and your body shows this with a "no show".

I hope you can talk this through with her, and that she supports you and it all works out in the end.

 
Old 01-28-2006, 09:50 AM   #4
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2
someguy84 HB User
Re: 21/suddenly having trouble maintaining erection

Thanks for the replies. As I stated, I have talked about it somewhat with my gf but when I'm not with her I still feel very nervous and stressed because I'm almost constantly thinking of it. It's like I'm always thinking about the fact that I should be getting an erection and I'm trying to make myself get one but I can't because I feel so nervous and am always thinking about it. I don't know how to just clear my mind of it. I wish we would have started things a little slower because before that one night I was always really horny when we were making out and stuff and now instead of being horny I feel nervous when I should be getting an erection.

 
Old 01-28-2006, 12:32 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Kent, England
Posts: 807
SpunkyStuart HB User
Re: 21/suddenly having trouble maintaining erection

Go back to the basics like I said, work up slowly to it, and you will be fine.

It is simply that you are stressing over it, and that is an instant stopper on erections.

Take your mind off it by getting together with her and agreeing not to have sex, but to be close, hug, kiss, pet etc.. Do this for a couple of times, and I would bet that you and her have a great time and you will probably get hard, but leave it for now, and stick to your agreement. Wait till you are comfortable with her, you can do lots to her but dont go too far yourself until you feel ok.

Try it, it should remove any stress over whether you will be able to "perform" or not without the pressure. I hope it works for you.

 
Old 01-29-2006, 03:36 AM   #6
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: asheboro n c
Posts: 28
old coot HB User
Your erection starts in your brain

Get your thinking straight and you get your penis straight

Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-30-2006 at 03:29 PM. Reason: Please use proper terminology.

 
Old 01-29-2006, 08:58 PM   #7
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: dallas, texas, usa
Posts: 4
felony_1 HB User
Re: 21/suddenly having trouble maintaining erection

Man, it's like I'm hearing myself rattle off my own symptoms, except mine started at 18. I can especially identify with the "what's up with not getting spontaneous erections anymore" thing. I'm 29 now, and I'm still not getting them. As mentioned before in this thread, I think it's definitely related to stress/anxiety. It took me 10 years to seek help through medication - if you can't psyche yourself out of it by relaxing yourself, don't blow your twenties by not letting yourself get help. The most problematic thing you stated is your lack of spontaneous erections and difficulty masturbating without constant attention. This could indicate a lack of libido which, in turn, could indicate something that requires medication. Maybe you should look into it.

 
Old 01-29-2006, 09:05 PM   #8
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 36
CaBoy19 HB User
Re: 21/suddenly having trouble maintaining erection

OMG DUDE did you just read my thread and re-post everything said? ! i am so shocked that you and i have almost the EXACT same problem like honestly word for word,
how freaking weird (see my other thread if u are confused)

 
Old 01-29-2006, 09:44 PM   #9
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: dallas, texas, usa
Posts: 4
felony_1 HB User
Re: 21/suddenly having trouble maintaining erection

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaBoy19
OMG DUDE did you just read my thread and re-post everything said? ! i am so shocked that you and i have almost the EXACT same problem like honestly word for word,
how freaking weird (see my other thread if u are confused)
I'm in on your other thread so as not to de-rail this one too much.

 
Old 05-15-2010, 10:07 PM   #10
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1
user029 HB User
Re: 21/suddenly having trouble maintaining erection

yeah, im only 17! and i lost my erection right between the putting on the condom and going in.. ive been with this girl 7 months and weve had sex more than i can count. i don't know why i couldnt get it back up, i think its due to thinking about it so much trying to get it up,, but the next 2 times we tried to have sex its all i could think about was to get it up and poof! no erection. i have gotten it up and right before when i go for the condom or about to go in her it goes limp. thanks for the post didnt know if i was a freak, glad to know im not the only one

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Trouble maintaining erection during sex.... help! Sketchkid Sexual Health - Men 1 11-24-2008 05:04 PM
My Man Has Trouble Maintaing An Erection SpicyGirl82 Sexual Dysfunction Treatment 1 08-26-2008 02:56 PM
SO FRUSTRATED! Difficulty Maintaining/Getting Erection & im Only 19! Prostatitis? CaBoy19 Prostatitis 15 04-20-2008 04:15 AM
I'm only 20....Trouble maintaining erection with condom on!! biker2391 Sexual Health - Men 7 02-14-2006 11:49 PM
Suddenly Having Trouble Getting Erection, please help. usedtobewantsittoend Sexual Health - Men 0 06-25-2005 02:42 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Fles (14), mc7 (10), Bob652 (7), wachix (7), Vanilla Kiss (6), tommy124 (6), aowshea (5), Just Tell Me (5), Mod-S4 (5), solofelix (4)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (903), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:02 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!