My husband has been having trouble getting an erection. This has been going on for months now. It seems he avoids having sex with me because he is afraid of what might happen (might not happen)..He is 54 and I am 53 . I am in great shape and do all the things to turn him on but it seems like nothing works. He will not go to a doctor. He hasn't had a checkup in years and i feel he needs to go for a full work up. We have only been married for a few years (second for both). I am so frustrated and miss the intimacy we once shared. Advice please?? thanks to all ..bride527
He certainly needs to see a doctor. Every man of his age should have annual checkups. Maybe all he needs is some Viagra, or maybe he has a serious heart issue that needs to be taken care of now. Please work hard to get him in for a much needed physical exam. And make sure he tells the doctor of his performance issues.
The same thing happened to me at about the same age as your husband, and I can offer some advice on what to do. First of all ,do not pressure him or in any way make him feel humiliated: believe me he is suffering enough from this problem as it is. It is common in men as they age,but it can be dealt with and overcome. I avoided sex with my wife for nearly ten years because I was afraid I would fail to perform. Fortunately viagra and the other enhancers came along about then, and they can help, but even they will not totally solve the problem. Agree with him that when you have your intimate times that it is okay to not go all the way every time. Concentrate on caressing and touching, and if it leads further, then go with it. It is important for him to feel the need for sex and not be made to be intimate if he is tired or not in the mood. If he wants to stop with touch and kisses, then reasssure him that's okay, too. It will take time, but impotence due to aging can be overcome. Also, it is important that he not be accessing porn or masturbating much, as both of these acerbate the problem. I found if I would concentrate on making my wife happy and not on myself and my problem, things went much better. I now have a tremendous and very fulfillling sex life with my wife. You two can too.
Thanks to all that replied. My husband has decided to see a chiropractor (it is a start)....His back is really bothering him and he has been putting off going to have it checked out. I know this is why he has been so preoccupied and has lost his interest in sex. We had a talk and he agrees that he has not been feeling that great lately and he feels so bad that he hasn't been able to satisfy me. I feel bad myself. So hopefully this is a step in the right direction for us. I am hoping they get to the route of his problem and maybe from here i can get him to finally see a dr. He is a typical male who refuses to see a dr . until something is really bothering him. I am hoping all will check out okay and we can go back to the sex life we had before. bride527