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Old 02-12-2006, 01:30 PM   #1
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Question I'm only 20....Trouble maintaining erection with condom on!!

Hi,

I've been having monogamous sex with my girlfriend for over a year now. We used to have sex 5-6 times a week, now its down to maybe 3-4 times weekly. We've both been tested and everything's perfect, and she's also on the pill. We havent used a condom every once in a while.

I've found the past month or two that I'm just not as sexually turned on as I used to be...I also don't seem to care as much if we have sex. Partly because I have had trouble staying hard when I put the condom on. The times I have not put the condom on, I have been as hard as a brick. I've even tried using the extra-thin condoms and still trouble staying hard after a few minutes. Can anyone advise?? Thank you!

 
Old 02-12-2006, 03:56 PM   #2
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Are you under any stress? Are you upset you GF is not allowing you to do it without a condom, and this is causing you to lose interest in it or is it a subconsious ploy to get her to give in? There is no doubt that condoms decrease sensitivity, but not to the extent that you should be going limp all of a sudden. I think it is mostly in your head since you didn't have problems before.

To help with the sensation problem, you can try to use the female condom. She may not like it, however, but it is worth a try. Just be sure to buy extra lubricant. The natural lamb condoms are much better than latex as far as sensitivity is concerned but they are expensive (but maybe not as much as the female condom) and do not protect against visuses.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-16-2006 at 08:20 PM. Reason: Note edit to your post. That term is not allowed on these boards.

 
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Old 02-12-2006, 10:28 PM   #3
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Re: I'm only 20....Trouble maintaining erection with condom on!!

Actually she's the one who prefers NOT using the condom, but all this time she knows I prefer it...

 
Old 02-13-2006, 12:56 PM   #4
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Re: I'm only 20....Trouble maintaining erection with condom on!!

Condoms can be a bit of a passion killer, try making the act of putting on the condom part of the sexual act so that you are excited by it rather than "oh dear now I must put a condom on!". It might take a bit of effort to "learn" that the condom is exciting though.

For me there is nothing worse than trying to keep an erection in a condom before penetration, because the best way to do this is to massage the penis as in masturbation, and the noise is a dead giveaway! So I now try to make sure I am very hard, then we jointly put the condom on me while keeping me excited, then go for launch!

 
Old 02-13-2006, 02:33 PM   #5
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Re: I'm only 20....Trouble maintaining erection with condom on!!

Well when I put the condom on, I am super hard, but within a few minutes of penetration, I have become flacid....Ahhhh

 
Old 02-13-2006, 04:36 PM   #6
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Re: I'm only 20....Trouble maintaining erection with condom on!!

I have the exact same problem. I've had it for years. As a gay male, it limits my sexual experience because I want to be safe.

Just like you, I can be really into it, then after the condom goes on-even with stimulation-I just slowly go limp. I have asked about this in other places and the responses were all pretty much the same-try stimulation, maybe it's mental retaliation, make it more fun, use more lube, etc. Fact is, none of this has worked for me and have not found anything that has, but would love to find something that does.

So, do I lose the erection because I lose the passion while putting the condom on? No. Believe me, I want in. I've often wondered if it was due to an allergy to latex, though there is no itching or rash after putting it on.

Good luck in finding an answer.

Rich

 
Old 02-13-2006, 09:01 PM   #7
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Re: I'm only 20....Trouble maintaining erection with condom on!!

My husband was worried about this when we were using condoms. I put forth my efforts as well to eliminate the problem. I would be the one to place the condom on. He enjoyed that a lot. We'd mix it up alittle to keep him erect. Sometimes we'd start without to get him harder then I'd place it on him. That seemed to help. He never really had a "problem," but we did things to make sure it didn't happen. I actually enjoyed it. Making him hard was a definite turn on for me...inturn made him turned on and harder. Best of luck to you. Sometime we get worked up about the issue and the best things are finding alternative ways of doing the mundane.

 
Old 02-14-2006, 11:49 PM   #8
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Re: I'm only 20....Trouble maintaining erection with condom on!!

Well, tongiht being valentines day n all, my gf came over for dinner and a movie. She went out and bought some very nice lingerie, stuff she knows turns me on, and we had such amazing sex, maintaining an erection was def not a problem tonight...

 
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