I am having a little problem, me and my husband have been married for seven years and I am the only women he has been with he is 27. My problem is he keeps on talking about wanting to have sex with another women, not anyone in paticular just he wants to do it someday. He says he will ask me before he will ever cheat on me, but should I be concerned that he will. I think I give him everything he needs sexually, how can I make sure that he will never be with anyone else. How can I make sure he never gets bored with me. Please help.
He will ask you before you cheats on you??? How horrible!!! What if he doesn't ask you first? Will he wear a condom at least, or do you need to be worried about that, too? I mean, he's already told you he wants to. What if the opportunity just presents itself before he can get your permission?
Give him the same respect and give him the head's up when you have him served with divorce papers after his little fling.
I mean, maybe he doesn't remember his wedding vows? Does he think you'd actually tolerate him sleeping around if he gets bored with you? If my man said something like that to me, all I can say is he'd better not sleep around me.
I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but this sounds like a serious problem that needs to be addressed pronto.
You can't keep him out of fear of losing him. Pleasuring him to control him is not a good idea, and never ends well. If he has the desire to wander, he will, anyway.
That rationalization that he married too young, is just that, rationalization. You are making excuses for him. Guess what? I was 19 when I got married. I had never made love to another girl, other than her. I'm 52. I still have not made love to another woman, and I am perfectly happy with that.
I think he needs an attitude adjustment. He knows where this is heading. In his mind, he is thinking it will end up with him having other women, and keeping you, too, to fall back on. With your desperation, that could happen. It wouldn't be pleasant. I think you need a little more spine, and a little more self-respect. Let him know that this is not acceptable to you, and in fact, it hurts your feelings. Unless, it is OK with you, truly OK. It doesn't sound like it is, to me, at least.
The trick is he has to want to not hurt you. You can't make that happen, he has to want it for you.
Good luck with this.
I have told him that if he did ever cheat on me, that I would leave and that I would never forgive him. So he does know what would happen if he does. Is it really normal for a man to what another women even if they have a good one at home.
Well, it is natural that he is curious about how sex might be with others. No need to crucify him for expressing what most married men think. I mean, most all men, married or not, want to experience sex with a wide variety of women. Of course, in love, men are supposed to control that desire and not act upon it. I think studies show that a majority of men fail at least once.
All I can suggest is to try to be a loving wife but don't get paranoid over him cheating or allow yourself to be put into a submissive position out of fear that if you deny him he will cheat on you and leave you. You can certainly tell him that if he does there will be consequences.
Maybe you can engage in some role playing with him. Dress up like you are someone else and go out to a bar or something seperately and have him pick you as if you are someone else. Perhaps that fantasy will be sufficient, and if may be fun for you, too.
I would not advise that you get overly upset with him and claim he doesn't love you and give him a hard time. He is being honest with you, while some men would hide their desires. If you tell him he is a creep, then he will take his feelings underground and possibly act out his fantasy for real.
Thank you everyone for your replys. One more thing, do you think if I give him permission to sleep with only one women that he chooses, do you think it will end there, or will he want to do it again and again and again.
it seems he already has you where he wants you......beaten down emotionally, low self-esteem, and willing to be a doormat.
I'd leave this guy before he had the chance to cheat on me, he's no good.
And NO - absolutely not......does he get PERMISSION to cheat!
You love him and want to make him happy after he would say such a thing??? What about your feelings in this? Not to mention your health if he catches an STD and brings it home. Is marriage not a 50/50 team effort in your country/culture, or are women routinely treated and/or spoken to this way by their husbands? Maybe that's where I'm having a hard time understanding this as even remotely acceptable behavior -- unless, of course, we're talking about both of you swinging and you getting a fling for the night, too, but I've understood from your posts that's not what this is about.
Just out of curiosity, are you allowed to go have sex with someone "new" when he does?