Ok I am 20 years old. I never really had any experiences below the belt with a girl in high school then I started dating this girl. She and I were both virgins so whatever went wrong we were both experiencing it for the first time and didn't know any better. We went out for a year and a half, sometimes at the drop of a hat I could get an erection when we started messing around or if we were going to try and lose our V-Cards. Most of the time it would end up hurting her to much and we'd stop. But the problem at hand for me was there were other times I'd be hard and once we got my pants off and it was time to go I would soften up or I would have to get oral to get hard again and it would still soften after the oral, even sometimes oral wouldn't do it! I guess it was nerves most of the time but it got really frustrating. We split a few months ago and I hadn't gotten with any girls until this weekend I hooked up with one of my old GFs when she came to visit me at school. Things started to get heated, I got hard and I started to give her oral, and I lost my erection when it came time to go, I was obviously nervouse because she was a lot more experienced than I was. We tried on different occasions throughout the weekend, but I could'nt maintain an erection and the embarrassment was overbearing and I told her simply that I was sick and another weekend I would be better ( I was tired and sick but come on that's just not right is it?) Anyway I am sick of either folding under the pressure or having a erection disorder, I'm not sure what it is but it is blowing my chances big time and frustrating me. If it is stress I don't think there's a way around it because both girls were very understanding but it didn't help much, and if it sounds like ED please let me know, so I can start meds SOON!
Meds are not the magic bullet you think they are. You need to solve this one in your head. Worrying about losing your erection is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you worry about it happening, it will happen. Learn how to shut off the hostile self-talk, and tell yourself you are not going to play that game. Forget about you. Concentrate on pleasing her. You have a real woman in front of you, to feel, to smell, to worship. The rest will come naturally.
Yes I had a real woman in front of me and I faltered. Do you think that it is really because I am inexperienced and it is all nerves? This weekend she might be visiting me again and I would hate to be dreading it rather than looking forward to that night having sex with her but it won't happen if I keep this up.
It's most important that you make yourself believe that you don't have a problem, woman want a man who carries himself with confidence. Remember, the only person you're competing against is yourself, so think highly of that guy in the mirror. Good Luck to You.
Thank you for the confidence guys, it seems to me that you guys think it is purely my mind. I haven't been too "in the mood" this week and haven't been aroused too much because the weekend is playing over and over again in my mind and I might even be seeing that girl this weekend, but as long as you both feel it is purely psychological, I will try to ease myself up. Anyone else have anything to say or add?
I think like the others have said, the more you worry about it, the more likely it is to happen so the key is to stop concentrating on it so much, a lot easier said then done i know but if you just go with the flow and try and just enjoy whats going on i'm sure eventually it'll work out. I really dont think its down to inexperience either, its your nerves which are letting you down. Remember that to you, its obviously a huge deal but this doesn't for one second mean that the girl you're with is going to regard it as such a problem if you happen to falter at the last second. She knows you and she wont run away if you happen to lose your erection. There are lots of things you can do with each other that don't require you to have one, so start off with these, enjoy it and see what happens. Just try and let go and don't put it off forever, because you'll drive yourself crazy with thinking about it!