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Old 03-06-2006, 01:11 PM   #1
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vxnova HB User
Tried to have sex for first time....

I am a 20 year old male and have been seeing this girl for a few weeks now and have been very attracted to her and would always get hard whenever we were kissing and making out. The other night we decided to have sex (I am still a virgin) and everything went well until I put the condom on and lost my erection and could not get it back up. She started asking me if I should go see a doctor or get some viagra or something but I told her that this has never happened before and I have always been able to get erections. It has been 2 days since and I have not had any erections or morning wood and am really worried that I wont be able to get an erection when it comes time for sex. Should I go see a doctor or am I just to anxious and forget about it and see what happens? I have been smoking marijuana for the past 5 years but if anything it increased my sex drive and did not hinder my erection ability in the past. I am feeling really bad about this and keep worrying that I might never be able to have sex.

 
Old 03-06-2006, 02:05 PM   #2
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ScaredInPtld HB User
Re: Tried to have sex for first time....

Hi VX,
I stumbled on your post and thought I would share an experience with you to hopefully help. I was my husbands first and the same thing happened when we first attempted sex. I think that initial excitement is so overwhelming and can be just enough to cause you to lose your erection. We learned from his doctor that once that happens just once you can get a sort of mental block. Best advise would be to relax, perhaps have an intimate moment where you try not to have sex so the pressure is off and I bet it will just happen for you.

Best of luck!
Olivia

 
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Old 03-06-2006, 05:08 PM   #3
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dirkson4 HB User
Re: Tried to have sex for first time....

Dude just chill seriously. I think this is extremely common. It happened to me when had sex for the first time when i was 18 (im 22 now). Go soft when about to have sex. My advice dont plan to have sex like the other person said. Just be in an intimate situation with her and i swear if your not thinking about 'will i get an erection' it will happen! I think most guys suffer performance anxiety the firsttime. Its not easy I know but it will work out when you feel comfortable with her.

goodluck

-Robbie-

 
Old 03-06-2006, 05:55 PM   #4
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vxnova HB User
Re: Tried to have sex for first time....

Quote:
Originally Posted by rapidfire7
Dude just chill seriously. I think this is extremely common. It happened to me when had sex for the first time when i was 18 (im 22 now). Go soft when about to have sex. My advice dont plan to have sex like the other person said. Just be in an intimate situation with her and i swear if your not thinking about 'will i get an erection' it will happen! I think most guys suffer performance anxiety the firsttime. Its not easy I know but it will work out when you feel comfortable with her.

goodluck

-Robbie-
Thank you for giving me reassurance. I think I have been stressing out way to much about this and thats probably further preventing me from getting erections. I have made an appointment with a urologist just to make sure this is nothing serious and that I dont have a medical problem. The real reason this makes me feel so bad is because it was the girl who wanted to have sex in the first place. She got ready and all and even helped me out with putting the condom on but when it came down to it I just couldnt perform. I really like this girl and am hoping to overcome this problem by maybe masturbating with a condom on or something and see how that helps. Anyways ill try not to think about it and will let you know if I am successful.

 
Old 03-06-2006, 06:54 PM   #5
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tommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB User
Re: Tried to have sex for first time....

You can cancel that appointment. There's nothing wrong with you. The 5 year thing has nothing to do with it, either. Nerves, plain and simple. Relax, and enjoy each other's company, and bodies. When it happens, it happens. Try tiiptoeing up to it.

 
Old 03-07-2006, 05:15 AM   #6
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redsoxgirl1824 HB User
Re: Tried to have sex for first time....

Honestly, it was kind of callous and rude of this girl to make it seem like you had some huge problem and even start saying maybe you need viagra. No wonder you've been having a "block".

 
Old 03-07-2006, 01:21 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redsoxgirl1824
Honestly, it was kind of callous and rude of this girl to make it seem like you had some huge problem and even start saying maybe you need viagra. No wonder you've been having a "block".
She thought that it was a problem Ive always but I let her know that its never happened before and it was just a one time thing. She was very nice about it and kept telling me that its ok but I still felt pretty bad about it. I got a morning erection today and was able to get a full erection while masturbating so I guess it was just nerves and I have to get used to putting a condom on without getting soft. I cancelled my urologist appointment and will see what happens this week.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 03-07-2006 at 02:44 PM. Reason: Terminology.

 
Old 03-08-2006, 02:47 PM   #8
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Re: Tried to have sex for first time....

Hi,

I just read your thread and thought I'd jump in with my own recent experience and I hope it both helps you and I hope others can give me some advice, thoughts, etc.

I'm a 26 year old male in good health and I've had 5 different sexual partners in my life. I lost my virginity when I was 17 and recently ended a 5-year serious relationship.

So I've been seeing this beautiful 27 year old girl that last few weeks. She's wonderful, but I soon found out she was a virgin. That's no problem, I just really enjoyed our time together, etc.

Last Friday, she and I got together and had a great night (little too much drinking, but whatever) and we ended up having sex.

The next day, we went at it again but this time I was unable to achieve/maintain an erection. She was freaked out and thought I was rejecting her. I was freaked out because I had no idea what the problem was. We regrouped and tried again Sunday with the same result.

Now I'm fairly certain my problem is mental, but I don't know what it is exactly because all this started after we had already had sex for the first time.

The only time anything like this ever happened before was when I was 18 and had just been dumped by a girl I really cared about and so I tried to forget about her and move on, but encountered a similar performance problem with my first new girl.

This time, however, I'm at a loss because I initiated my recent breakup and I'm confident it was the right decision - as I no longer felt the same way about the girl I was recently seeing despite our very long relationship.

So anyway - my new girl is coming to see me again this week and if this problem reoccurs I can pretty much forget about her ever seeing me again and I'll be prepared to jump out a window due to my loss of confidence. Despite my belief that this is a mental problem, I went out and purchased Vazomyne pills which are supposed to help with "sexual fitness" etc. by helping blood flow or something. I've also decided to try to arouse myself on a daily basis, but NOT to ejaculate under the belief that if I tease myself enough for 5 days the next time I see her I'll be like a bucking bronco. Not sure if that'll work, but something better.

Sorry for the long post. Im freaked out about this, but its good to see other young, fit men have experienced similar issues. I'm a little worried that my issue is not linked to 1st time jitters and anybody who can give me any advice on my "condition" and my strategy, please do. Thanks for listening.

 
Old 03-08-2006, 11:19 PM   #9
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vxnova HB User
Re: Tried to have sex for first time....

I guess I know how awful you feel even though im still a virgin. I was so depressed after what happened to me that I went home from college for a day and my parents thought I was severly ill when they saw me. I was pale, skinny and would only mumble when I talked to them. For now im feeling ok and I might get another chance this weekend and will just forget about last time and see what happens. So my advice to you would be to just forget about it and relax and give it another go. I guess its much easier said than done for you and for me but that is the strategy I am using and I hope it works.

 
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