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Old 06-28-2006, 04:07 PM   #1
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anonjun06 HB User
Advice needed - asking for oral.... or anything new

I feel weired posting this, I've never really talked about this sort of thing before, but I'm in a situation where I really need some advice.

I've been with my fiance for over 6 years now, but she's never given me oral.

Although I've hinted a couple of times, she seems to be disgusted at the idea. I've always wondered what it would be like, but have never really known how to come out and ask her straight out, knowing that she doesn't really like the idea.

I don't think she's ever given oral to anyone else, though then again I've never asked. I really don't think she has though. I was her first serious boyfriend, we then split up for a couple of years when I started at Uni and she had a couple of other boyfriends, then we got back together and have been living with each other for about 5 years and have a 1 year old daughter. But occasionally I do wonder if she has, and I start to feel quite jealous at the thought that she may have done this with someone else but won't with me. Stupid I know.

To be honest, anything new would be nice. Since she gave birth to our only child almost a year ago, she's not let my hands go down there, she said it feels "weird". I can't touch her nipples because they "tickle". All we do is kiss (just lips and neck usually, she doesn't like me going to far down), she then gives me a quick hand job, then its straight to it, same position every time. Altogether it probably lasts for about 10-15 minutes, then its off to sleep.

I wouldn't be without her (something I've realised more than ever recently when I spent a week away), and without wanting to sound big headed, I know she wouldn't want to be without me, she's always going on about marriage. I would never even think about pushing her into anything. Though she can be quite pushy on the marriage front

But I really feel we need to liven up our sex life somehow, even though she seems happy as it is. I'm 28, she's 23, so we are still young, but I feel that I'm missing out on a lot.

I would really appreciate any advice. To be honest, I'm embarrassed to ask her to give me oral, but I really would like to experience it at least once in my life. I'd offer to wear a condom if she wants, but if I try to kind of hint by joking about flavors, she just sounds disgusted by the idea. I don't want to sound like I'm pushing her into it.

Please, I need advice here...

 
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Old 06-28-2006, 04:54 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Near Peoria Illinois USA
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NitroChic HB User
Re: Advice needed - asking for oral.... or anything new

I think you really need to sit down at a time where you are uninterupted, and ask her if she is satisfied with your sex life. Let her know that it doesnt seem as though she is getting what she wants. Make the discussion about her satisfaction. Let her know that you think she may not be satisfied because of the lack of sex in general, and the lack of adventure.
You MUST remember one thing... men are visual creatures....women and cerebral creatures. Women think about sex in what men would call a romantic way. FOr me personaly, I need to think about sex during the day to be "in the mood" to have sex... men do this normaly, women, not so much.
At your wife's age, and having a 1 year old, sex is probably number 20 on her list of things to do.
I also suggest you try to find out if she is having orgasm during sex......I know that for many years I didnt have orgasms during sex, and it became a chore I had to do. I never wanted to hurt hubby's feelings, but I finaly got the nerve to say.... you know what it isnt happening for me. We began to talk very frankly about what we wanted, and some fun surprises came out of that.
Try reading to each other, sexy stories work for some women, soft porn works, it also offers some options for sex that you may not do now and can discuss because of the movie...You sound as though you are being very kind about this...and you most of all know that pressuring her isnt going to work.
Try asking her if there is anything she has always wanted to try sexualy....make sure she knows that you arent going to be offended or jealous. Good luck.

 
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