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Old 07-10-2006, 10:26 AM   #1
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Is he lying?

Ok, I've asked about masturbation hundreds of times, telling my husband that it's normal and I don't care but I was just curious. I've read that ALL guys do it and the ones who say they aren't are lying, plain and simple.

Is that true - do all guys really do it at least occasionally or are there men who do not? Is it something they regularly hide?

I will throw a comment out once in awhile about it to him, encouraging him to come clean but he still refuses to acknowledge he does it. I don't care either way, but I certainly don't hide the fact that I do it from him!

 
Old 07-10-2006, 11:41 AM   #2
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Re: Is he lying?

Picksie-
I can't say that all men masturbate, but I can tell you that most people do masturbate, and some just don't like to talk about it.

It could be that if your husband actually does masturbate, he may be affraid to answer your question about it honestly because that may lead to more questions such as, "do you think of me when you masturbate? Do you think of other women when you do it?" See, some men have learned that sometimes it's best to just not say anything because of the following questions that might arise.

I can say this- some religions feel that masturbation is a sin, therefore, there probably are some men and women who actually won't do it because of their religious convictions.

Lezlee

 
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Old 07-10-2006, 12:44 PM   #3
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Re: Is he lying?

He is DEFINITELY not a religious person LOL! And honestly, I never thought of the questions about how he does the deed but now that makes me wonder what the answers are! I wouldn't ask anything else, but I was hoping he would at least cop to doing it - if he does, in fact, do it.

I realize not everything is something I need to know but this one thing has always been something I was curious about. Especially considering how defensive, or maybe just guarded, he gets when I ask. And like I said, I sure don't hide the fact if he were to ask me.

 
Old 07-10-2006, 12:59 PM   #4
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Re: Is he lying?

It's possible that he has some guilt trip about something that may have happened in the past.

 
Old 07-10-2006, 01:00 PM   #5
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Re: Is he lying?

Well, if he's not religious, and if he doesn't masturbate, then he is a rare guy. Also, if he truly doesn't masturbate, then he must be totally satisfied with you and just doesn't feel the need to do it.

I mean, I know my husband is satisfied with me, and me with him, but hey, somtimes when your lover isn't home and the mood strikes you, what are you gonna do? It's a natural thing. Most men like the thought of their wife/girlfriend masturbating, so I don't feel guilty when I do, and I even sometimes will tell him about it later just to get a rise out of him if you know what I mean.

I didn't mean to bring up any questions that might get your hubby in trouble, but seriously, a lot of guys think that every question a woman asks is a trap. You know, like when you ask if it looks like you've gained weight, or if something makes you look fat....some guys can be real scaredie cats..... hehe

Lezlee

 
Old 07-10-2006, 03:44 PM   #6
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Re: Is he lying?

No one really knows how many married men masturbate and lie to their wives about it, but many certainly do. As may have been said already, many men are embarassed to admit to doing it, perhaps stemming from the teen years when those who had a girl friend who provided sexual services made fun of the "virgins", even though those with partners still regulary masturbated in all probability. Also, as was stated, and as you proved in your last response, if he answers that question in the affirmative, then what will your next question be, and the one after that? You say you really don't care if he does do it, but your curiosity here proves that you really do care. I mean, if you don't care, why do you keep asking him?

If if it that important to you, then maybe try to get him, during part of your normal love making, to masturbate himself to a climax, maybe telling him you want to see him come on your breasts or someplace. If he will do that, then you can later tell him how exciting it was to see him masturbate, and over a period of time, as he gains comfort with it, you may be able to ask him if he does it by himself, as the thought of him doing it turns you on. But make sure he understands that you will not ask him about what he thinks about when he does it, or if he has a stash of porn someplace, etc (see the types of questions he may not want to deal with if he fesses up?). If you do, he may lie and say he only thinks about you, but if you think you won't be happy with whatever answer he gives, then it might be best to not ask.

 
Old 07-10-2006, 06:23 PM   #7
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Unhappy Re: Is he lying?

I'm a firm believer that most all men masturbate (human nature) and I have to say your hubby sounds a lot like mine! He WILL NOT fess up nor does he want to discuss it. One time I asked him when the last time he masturbated was, and he said in August of 2004! HELLLO! It is 2006! I highly doubt that was the last time he masturbated. Of course he did this the night b4 our wedding in 2004 and I wasn't home....and when I found out it was that night b4 it really hurt my feelings because we didn't have sex the night of our wedding (we were both very exhausted but truthfully I wouuld have had sex if he wasn't so "tired")

I really suggest that if you DONT CARE (I thought I Didn't but now that I asked him, I do care...and it sucks) then don't ask...just leave well enough alone and let him have his way, masturbation in private.
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Old 07-11-2006, 06:37 AM   #8
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Re: Is he lying?

Masturbation is also a very private thing and he may not feel like he needs to share that information. (And maybe he doesn't do it and is telling the truth). The more important question may be why it's so important for you to know whether he does. It's not something you should worry about. It's okay if he does it and it doesn't reflect on your relationship at all unless he prefers solo sex to expressing himself sexually with you. And I gather that's not the case.

Let him be.

 
Old 07-11-2006, 06:49 AM   #9
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Re: Is he lying?

I agree with everyone in that it's not important and me asking about it just means I was curious what other's experiences were. I don't ask him everyday or anything, not even very often - maybe a handful of times when the subject comes up in a joking manner over the entire 14 years we've been together.

I really don't care if he does or doesn't and honestly, am not looking to see it happen! We have an extremely active sexlife so maybe he is just getting it enough! And you know, I'd rather not explore the topic if I'm going to hear things I don't want to about what he envisions "en route"! Secret porn, I can deal with since we have a huge stash anyway - something else that's more real, yea, he can keep that to himself....

 
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