Hi There, my name is Brendan, I'm 25 years old and from the UK.
Well I guess I better tell you a bit about myself and why I started surfing the net and find this site at 1.00am!! I look forward to your replies as this seems like a really sensible place and reading some of the other threads the replies have been great and very supportive....to here goes!
Being 25, going to be 26 in august and am yet to have a relationship with a girl. I have had sex only twice, once when I was 16 which was with a girl that I met up with 4 months and then she ended it, and then again at 19 with the same girl, she was on the rebound and I got sucked in!
I have a few 'opportunites' but haven't gone all the way for some reason. By the way just to clarify, I'm definetly straight, I love girls, although I am quite picky.
Actually at this moment i have a good example. I am on a dating site and decided to meet a girl. We met up a few times and it was still just being friendly, although she was quite playful. To cut a long story short she asked if she could stay at mine for a while because the place she is renting is really bad. So she brings a few things and she's staying over. On the second night of her stay I manage to persuade her to sleep next to me in the bed as the sofa isn't very comfortable! Anyway, we're talking a little bit, I kiss her, she is very teasing, she takes off the shorts I gave her so she down to a g-string and then she is waiting for me to do something.....but I never do! I just ended up hugging up, then see rolled away and that the end of that.....she now prefers the sofa!
I think I'm scared of something, but not sure exactly what. When i had sex those two times, she was the dominant one, taking the lead. Now that I'm being asked to take the lead and not really sure what to do!! Where do I start etc....and not only that, I am quite worried about how'll I'll perform. My sex drive is very high, I masterbate daily, normally with some porn. I'm worried I'll *** way too early or like the last time I had sex, not *** at all.
Sorry this seems like quite a long post, hopefully someone can give me some advice.
Are the two of you into lots of foreplay? Do both of you get very arroused and lubricated? I believe you have to have a very serious talk with her and tell each other what's feeling good and what's not doing anything for either of you. Communication is so important in sex life.
I agree with MrBojangle. Communication is a good thing. It sounds like this girl likes you and is interested in being close sexually. Don't worry about having only had sex twice- that's not really a big issue.
This is coming from a female, so take it to heart. Be honest with her about it. Let her know that you aren't some kind of "player" and want to please her. Ask her what she likes. Chances are, when/if you tell her you haven't had lots of sexual experiences, she will gladly take the lead and show you what makes her feel good.
Sex is something that you will get better at figuring out as you go along. Each partner is different, and each experience is going to be different. It's a totally natural thing whether you've never done it once, or whether you're well experienced.
I think it's wonderful that you have been selective and haven't just hopped into bed with every girl you meet. It means you take it more seriously than just getting it on with someone. This is a good thing and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.