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Old 07-17-2006, 07:46 PM   #1
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iaskubartender HB User
I can't Ejaculate

Hey people.
I have a problem thatís getting me down.
I have been with my girlfriend now for a year and we are yet to have sex but it is not for want of trying.
We didnít rush in to anything when we first got together and left it several months before we began to Ďfoolí around. The problem is that as much as we have tried I havenít Ejaculated through oral or her masturbating me. As for sex I lose my erection at the moment I go to put on a condom.
I love her to bits and I know that I make her happy and bring her to orgasm in everyway that I can but this has started to effect a lot of aspects in everyday life (it tends to knock you confidence).
I was hoping that someone can help me with some advice.
Cheers people

Last edited by iaskubartender; 07-17-2006 at 07:48 PM. Reason: Misspelt words

 
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Old 07-17-2006, 10:15 PM   #2
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crushme HB User
Re: I can't Ejaculate

It sounds like it is in your mind. Has she tried to put the condom on you?

 
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Old 07-18-2006, 05:08 AM   #3
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Re: I can't Ejaculate

yeh she's tried.
it just seems strange to me that i have no problem getting and keeping an erection at any other time. she can be giving me oral etc and again no problem keeping an erection. i just never climax

 
Old 07-18-2006, 05:42 AM   #4
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Re: I can't Ejaculate

hi,
my other half went through exactly the same thing when we first got together, and it all turned out to be psychological. first he couldnt get an erection, then he couldnt climax, then once he started to relax everything was fine and there was no stopping him!
i think guys feel under a lot of pressure to "perform" compared to us women which is why you might only lose the erection when it comes to actual sex. As for the problems with climaxing when you "fool around", i know a few guys that have only been able to climax through full sex.
i dont think there is anything wrong with you physically, i think it is all psychological, even if you're not aware of it

 
Old 07-18-2006, 07:38 AM   #5
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iaskubartender HB User
Re: I can't Ejaculate

thanks for you replies.
i to think that its all in my head.
I was quite shy when we first got together and things are getting better.
i just wished it would get better faster
any advice on how to relax would be wonderful

 
Old 07-18-2006, 10:44 AM   #6
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Re: I can't Ejaculate

do you ever talk to your gf about all of this? i know my bf just used to get very upset and say he was worried he was useless etc. i tried my best to reassure him and then he gradually relaxed more and the problem became less.
a few drinks can help you relax too
good luck!

 
Old 07-18-2006, 05:45 PM   #7
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iaskubartender HB User
Re: I can't Ejaculate

Yeh we talk about it and she says that i'm the best lover shes had, so i do feel reasured.
I think things are getting better but when the problem happens i do feel usless and 'less of a man'

 
Old 07-19-2006, 09:43 AM   #8
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CancerDad HB User
Re: I can't Ejaculate

If you can ejaculate when you are masturbating, then it's psychological in nature when you are with her.

It really sounds like it's nerves to me. You know what works well to take the pressure off is to have an agreement with your girlfriend that all goes when fooling around, EXCEPT for intercourse. This takes the pressure off you, and often times has the opposite effect, where both of you find yourselves wanting each other SO much, you forget about nerves.

Good Luck
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ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!

 
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