Does anyone know of an effective vitamin or herb that will significantly reduce my already low libido to the point that it would be NON-EXISTENT? My wife and I desire to completely eliminate the last bit of my lifelong abnormally weak sex drive. This would help both of us to fully cope with her satisfying her very high libido outside of our marriage. I guess opposites do truly attract.
Maybe first you should go to an anti-aging specialist to see if there is a hormonal reason for the low libido that can be fixed? I specify anti aging doctor because most GP's, Internists, urologists, and even endocrinologists are useless in this type of hormonal treatment. If you Testosterone levels are low it can be causing you other health probelms besides the low libido. Here is a cut and paste from another forum on some possible complications:
Last edited by Mod-S4; 07-30-2006 at 08:46 PM.
Reason: Do not paste text from other web sites.
I truly do appreciate the thoughtful comments about my health and marriage. However, my spouse and I are fully aware of the path that we have chosen. We are very happily married for 19 years. Our strong marriage is based on many things but sex is absolutely not one of them. I have had a nearly nonexistent libido for all of my life. I NEVER had any desire to be intimate with a woman or a man. I find the thought of being sexually intimate with a woman to be both repulsive and disgusting, among other things. My spouse knew this about me while we were dating and throughout our marriage. We are both very comfortable with this situation and we choose to live together as ‘brother and sister’. We share many, many things in common and we truly enjoy being married to one another. We just simply do not share the marital bed together. I am now 50 years old and have no desire or need to all-of-a-sudden try and change my libido after all these years. I virtually have no interest in my own sexual gratification. I have not experienced an erection, much less an orgasm, for 8 - 9 years. Prior to that, I would on rare occasion masturbate just because I thought that I was supposed to do that. That sums up my entire lifelong sexual experiences. My spouse and I chose to be married to one another fully knowing that I would never be her sexual partner. When we became engaged, we made a conscious decision that I would be her spouse, and we would share the marriage license together, but that she would need a real man to be her ‘Husband’ to share her marital bed. I provide her with all of the things that a marriage partner would traditionally provide except for the bedroom activities. We have been blessed to have her wonderful ex-husband step into our marriage and assume what we refer to as the traditional ‘Husband’s responsibilities’, that is, satisfying her very strong and constant sex drive. This unique man provides my spouse with the satisfaction that she craves while we were dating, during our honeymoon, and throughout our 19 great years of marriage. He truly is a gentleman, dear friend, confidant, mentor, teacher, and I have the utmost respect for him. He and I are very close and we do many things together. I look up to him as he is the epitome of the word ‘man’. The reason that I am looking for a vitamin or a herd to help eliminate my nearly nonexistent libido is that I believe that I am starting to have some type of feelings for my spouse’s ex-husband. At first, I mistakenly thought that I was feeling something sexual toward my spouse but thankfully I quickly realized that I still had no interest for that stuff. I am not quite sure if my feelings for him are sexual in nature as I have never been in-touch with those types of feelings. Over the many years he has and continues to encourage me to perform sex acts on him and I always eagerly accommodated his demands and desires. I always enjoy performing for him as a way of expressing my deep respect, admiration, and love for him. I never view these acts in a sexual way and I never derive any sexual gratification from them. For me, it is always a very mechanical act that I do because I realize how important and meaningful it is for him and how much he enjoys using me for his pleasure. My spouse often encourages me and enjoys seeing me orally satisfy him and she gets sexually excited while watching him use me. I am very happy with the way things are currently. I am a little concerned about my feelings that seemed to have changed slightly toward him. I absolutely do not want them to turn into sexual feelings for him. I want to nip this in the bud before something changes. I haven’t had sexual urges after all these years and I certainly have no need for them now. Maybe I’m wrong; maybe what I’m feeling is not sexual at all. I do not know. But I would like some advice on a vitamin or a herd that may reduce or eliminate my weak libido so that I do not have to concern myself with those feelings. Thank you all for your help.
Well you certainly have an unusual situation and an unusual request. Unfortunately I spend all my time trying to restore hormones and libido so I am unable to help in that respect. I still would advise you that whether or not you are interested in a sex life if you have not had an erection in years you almost certainly have some hormonal issue. Especially if you have no nocturnal or morning erections. If this is the case you are subjecting yourself to the possibility of all the health issues mentioned above. I wish I could just give up on my libido.....it would make my life easier to be sure but not necessarily better. Even if I could help, I probably would not. Helping you would probably mean doing harm to your health which I could not be a part of. Best of luck to you.
This almost sounds like a situation that could work for you. You say you are eager to satifsy him, your wife likes it, he likes it and you seem to enjoy it, why stop it? If you have feelings for him, it sounds like he'd not only be okay with it, but like it as well. And if you stopped this altogether, you might not be so very happy. It sounds as if, at least for you, it has more to do with the connection than the sex act.
Do you become erect when performing on him? If so, there's your first indicator. Have you talked to him or her about your feelings? It sounds as if you're in love and your wife is a beyond best friend....and most men I know, no matter how much they like a friend are not going to allow another man to go down on them just for fun...IMO there has to be something there.
What exactly are your feelings for him? Have you considered the possibility that you may have been gay all your life? You don't say you are repulsed by a man, yet you are by a woman. Have you ever had sex with a woman? What was the outcome?
If you don't experience anything bad, you'll never appreciate the good when it comes around!!!
The SSRI class anti-depressants are notorious for having libido depressing side effects in many who take them. So, you could try taking them until you find one that works for you. Of course, luck being what it is, you'll be one of the patients who doesn't experience that side effect.