It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - Men Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-01-2006, 10:06 PM   #1
Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 300
HelpHelpHelp HB User
fantasy

my bf has a never-ceasing desire to see me with other guys. What's this all about?!?! I actually gave him what he wanted, on several occasions, much to my disgrace. Luckily, it was always the same guy that I "used" to turn on my bf.

Why would he want this for me? I tell him how it makes me feel, goes against my beliefs, hurts my self-esteem, and makes me feel like he doesn't value me or my body. It's like i'm just supposed to be a toy and nothing more. I told him it turns me off and makes me not want to have sex with him, but he still insists on it. And he says the least i can do if i don't do it anymore it talk about it. I don't enjoy rehashing these encounters, i'd like to forget about them.

It is also very ironic to me also because he knows i have low self esteem and refuses to be married to me because of my low self esteem, and yet he knows his little fantasy contributes. Is he just too selfish to be in a relationship with me? We've been together for five years. I dont know what to do anymore.

 
Old 08-01-2006, 10:12 PM   #2
Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 300
HelpHelpHelp HB User
Re: fantasy

I really don't want it to come to this, but I'm starting to think I should say to him, "It's me or the fantasy. Take your pick."

I love him, and want to embrace him, including his little kinks, but at the same time, our relationship will never work healthily if I am so down on myself.

The bottom line is that I want respect from him. I dont want to lose him. But I'll take the chance if it means I stand a great chance at earning respect.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-01-2006, 10:22 PM   #3
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Fall river,Ma
Posts: 12
Kaligraphie HB User
Re: fantasy

it seems hes actually crossed the line of it being a fantasy since he made u actually do something. Tell him that while you love him very much you are not comftorable with the situation its ok for him to fantasize but to actually have you do this stuff is kind of messed up. If he doesnt respect your wishes then mabye its time to end the relationship.

 
Old 08-01-2006, 10:30 PM   #4
Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 300
HelpHelpHelp HB User
Re: fantasy

it's crazy. i will tell him no, give him reasons, and he will continue to beg. he'll ask me if guys flirted with me, if they were hot, about their penises, etc. and yet, at other times, he gets p.o.ed if i even talk to a guy.

where's the logic?!?

Last edited by HelpHelpHelp; 08-01-2006 at 10:31 PM.

 
Old 08-01-2006, 10:50 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Utah
Posts: 901
Angel77 HB User
Re: fantasy

Sweetpea, the logic is in his drawers! And he doesn't care enough about your heart to put you first, he needs to go. I would stand my ground with that twerp and tell him it stops now, so do the questions and that if he can't live with that, go find someone to swing with him.....

You deserve better and can find better, but you will attract what you put out. So, heal your heart, have some fun and when the time is right, the right man will find you. Just figure out who you are, what you want and then let the love happen when it is right.

This guy sounds like he's got ego problems, as if he is validating having you as a gf as long as you're attractive to other males...that's bad enough, but to share you is BS....a relationship should not validate who you are, it should accentuate it....punctuate this one with a period and move on.
__________________
If you don't experience anything bad, you'll never appreciate the good when it comes around!!!

 
Old 08-02-2006, 12:10 AM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: mia, florida
Posts: 176
~charlotte08~ HB User
Ok get RID of him. I know its throwing 5years down the drain but you don't need that bs. You deserve better. His fantasies have crossed the limits and you don't feel comfortble. If he really loved you, he would respect you and not do what he does. This is a dirty man and if he wants to fulfill his fantsies, he could go do them himself. I think he might be bi-sexual or something. He's seriously SICK. what guy would want their gurl to be having sex with some one other then them? Besides, you don't feel good and your self esteem is low. You need to find a real man that's gonna respect you and honor you. That piece of crap you have for a boyfriend is not good for you. This is an UNHEALTHY relationship. Please leave. You can NOT continue with this. You don't need this. You can't keep feeling that way and he doesn't do anything about it. I hope you leave this trashy man. Good luck. Blessings
__________________
~charlotte~

Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-02-2006 at 04:39 AM. Reason: Vulgar language is not allowed. Neither is attempting to disguise it.

 
Old 08-02-2006, 06:32 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Utah
Posts: 901
Angel77 HB User
Re: fantasy

Better to waste 5 years than 15 or more!
__________________
If you don't experience anything bad, you'll never appreciate the good when it comes around!!!

 
Old 08-02-2006, 06:48 AM   #8
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 13
babablacksheep HB User
Re: fantasy

He has someone else he plays with while your not around and this gives him a reason to not feel bad about it. That or he is just sick and twisted and will ultimatly end up getting you into something you can't get out of. You are your own woman stand up for yourself and leave him. No reason for you to feel like crap for him. Get out on your own, there is a whole world out there full of men who would love and appreciate you for who you are not what you can give them or for you giving into their sick whims.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Weird fantasy of being kidnapped/held against my will. alphagymnast Sleep Disorders 2 09-17-2010 10:02 PM
Obsessed with a fantasy I can't have... HELP!! mgfbam13 Sexual Health - General 10 12-13-2009 08:32 AM
Threesome fantasy. Wonderingsoul Sexual Health - General 5 12-08-2009 10:23 AM
A confusing sexual fantasy since early age. predictions09 Sexual Health - General 3 01-17-2009 02:20 PM
Women's fantasy question? Wondering101 Sexual Health - Women 3 11-17-2008 05:16 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Fles (14), mc7 (10), wachix (7), Bob652 (6), Vanilla Kiss (6), tommy124 (6), aowshea (5), Mod-S4 (5), Just Tell Me (5), ladybud (4)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1136), MSJayhawk (941), Apollo123 (855), janewhite1 (823), Titchou (769), Gabriel (743), ladybud (667), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (654), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:59 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Copyright and Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!