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Old 08-07-2006, 02:40 PM   #1
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Unhappy can't get off

My better half has this problem of not being able to orgasm without masturbating. I've tried oral, hand stimulation, even intercourse doesn't do the job. There have only been a few times where he has been able to "finish" the job while engaging in intercourse. I've been reading different sites that say for me not to think it is me, and I am trying not to, but can't figure out what the problem is. Am I doing something wrong? Is there anything HE can do? Its almost getting to the point where I am reluctant to sleep with him, for fear of it happening again.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-07-2006 at 09:12 PM. Reason: Terminology.

 
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Old 08-08-2006, 01:22 PM   #2
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Re: can't get off

P.S. Drugs are not an issue. Lack of sleep could be an issue for only a few instances. He says it has happened with prior girlfriends. Other than that, Not sure where to start for help. Will try to talk with him about it. Just need some advice and/or why it happens

 
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Old 08-10-2006, 09:53 AM   #3
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Question Re: can't get off

Advice anyone???

 
Old 08-10-2006, 09:55 AM   #4
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Re: can't get off

it's not you, believe me. I've been with men like this and it gets very frustrating because you want to please them, and they are just incapable. It's a dysfunction on their part. usually from masterbating too much, they have de-sensitized themself to the real thing. he needs to lay off the masterbating for a while

 
Old 08-10-2006, 10:44 AM   #5
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Re: can't get off

Thanks, I don't know when he has the time to do that. If he isn't at work, he is at my house and has been staying there for about a month now. I told him a few things that I read on here, and we are going to try them. I also told him if this works, it wont happen overnight. I really don't think its a masterbating issue. Although, I could be wrong.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 10:53 AM   #6
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Re: can't get off

how could it not be a masterbating issue?
that's the only time he can orgasm.......and he's told you that, and now you're thinking maybe he's not masterbating?
and it only takes a couple minutes, he doesn't need that much time.
you're going to end up resenting him, like I did with men like that. they masterbate and take care of themselves, and they would be perfectly content to continue to live like that......
please don't make excuses for him.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 10:58 AM   #7
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Re: can't get off

Let me rephrase that. He's done it once, the last time we were together. The other times, we have just stopped doing it because we were both tired. There have been a handful of times where he has orgasmed during intercourse, but more times where he hasnt. I'm not trying to make excuses for him. I am trying to help him with it, and see if it improves over a period of time.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 12:19 PM   #8
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Re: can't get off

well what I'm suggesting, to help, is that you ask him to lay off the masterbating (while he's alone) and just have his sexual release with you......

 
Old 08-10-2006, 12:24 PM   #9
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Re: can't get off

LOL. I will and I hope he listens.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 12:29 PM   #10
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Re: can't get off

well I hope so too, for your sake.
it didn't always work when I suggested it LOL
I got accused of trying to "control" him
when all I was trying to do was get our love life back on track.
that relationship ended, due to the fact that he had recently gotten the internet (years ago), and was more interested in surfing porn than being with a real woman.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 12:39 PM   #11
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Re: can't get off

He has the internet at his house, but hopefully it wont turn into that. I'd be heartbroken if we ended a relationship over that.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 01:01 PM   #12
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Re: can't get off

well you could always check his history

 
Old 08-10-2006, 01:33 PM   #13
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Re: can't get off

yea, I could but don't really have a reason to. Everything he has ever told me has checked out. So far, Trying not to be so skeptical.

 
Old 09-14-2006, 11:11 PM   #14
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Re: can't get off

Well, I am a man and I have this problem. I won't make excuse for myself and I want to "fix" my problem. Unfortunately my girlfriend is not here with me all the time (which adds to the frustrations that the short time we can be together has to be bothered by this problem).
What I want to know is if you guys know of any thing I can do. I know the ultimate solution might be just be open with her and "practice" more with her. But with our current condition, it's not possible. I can stop masterbation or do anything. I love this woman and I want our togetherness is really complete and enjoyable.

 
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