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Old 08-09-2006, 11:08 AM   #1
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Question for the guys from a girl

OK, I have a weird question. Here's a little background as to why I'm asking this question. I have an ex-bf who I have been seperated from for a few months. He is a person who lies ALOT, he is manipulative and a user. We haven't done anything sexually since January. Well we decided to see each other this weekend and we ended up having sex. He could not orgasm while we were having sex. Afterwards he told me he couldn't orgasm because he no longer had feelings for me. Is this likely the case? In my mind, a man is a man, and no matter if he has feelings for the girl or not, he will orgasm. He takes medications which I'm thinking could have an affect on his orgasm. I guess I'm asking because my self-esteem was way shot down after this. You know, thinking that I couldn't even make a man orgasm, and that I couldn't turn him on. So basically my question is... Did his lack of feeling towards me cause him to not be able to orgasm, or was it his choice to not, so he supressed it, or does he have a physical problem that made him unable? thanks for any help

 
Old 08-09-2006, 12:02 PM   #2
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Re: Question for the guys from a girl

Not likely that its because he does not have feeling for you but that could contribute. More likely something else is going on with him, maybe the meds, maybe something else. Or maybe he did and he's lying about that too.

 
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Old 08-09-2006, 12:29 PM   #3
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Re: Question for the guys from a girl

I reckon he could have suppressed it.

Guys can do it, and I think that if he was trying to get back at you for some reason, he would do this on purpose just in order to make you feel so low afterwards...because it worked. He would have had a hard time doing this though, and must have seemed very distant while you were doing it because he would need to be concentrating very hard on something else.

But i wouldnt worry that you arent good enough for him or that you are unable to make a guy orgasm, you just wait for that right bloke to come along and then you will see how hot you are in bed !!

Anyway good luck.

 
Old 08-09-2006, 12:56 PM   #4
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Re: Question for the guys from a girl

Quote:
Originally Posted by woo30013480
I reckon he could have suppressed it.

Guys can do it, and I think that if he was trying to get back at you for some reason, he would do this on purpose just in order to make you feel so low afterwards...because it worked. He would have had a hard time doing this though, and must have seemed very distant while you were doing it because he would need to be concentrating very hard on something else.

But i wouldnt worry that you arent good enough for him or that you are unable to make a guy orgasm, you just wait for that right bloke to come along and then you will see how hot you are in bed !!

Anyway good luck.
Thanks, we have been together several times before and he had absolutely no problems. This man is manipulative in every way possible. So who knows what really is the truth. Oh well

 
Old 08-09-2006, 02:16 PM   #5
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Re: Question for the guys from a girl

FYI. Not ALL man orgasm regardless of who, when, where etc. You should not feel inferior because he didn't or say he didn't.

There are a million reasons or ways whether it be physical or psychlogical, intentional or involuntary. And it really doesn't matter why.

If this on & off relationship is only good for sex, give it up girl. Great sex is easy to come by, but you will NEVER find your true mate with all the other qualities you want if you don't let go of the "EX" just because of the intimacy.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 09:25 AM   #6
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Re: Question for the guys from a girl

My feeling is that he was unable to ejaculate, for whatever reason, and then blamed it on you, saying that he couldn't, because he no longer had feelings for you, as a coverup.
No guy starts intercourse, and then decides he can't climax, because he doesn't have feelings for the girl. If it was true, he would lose his erection, not be unable to climax.
You're right, he's slimy. Why are you having sex with him, if he is that bad, and you know it?

 
Old 08-19-2006, 12:12 AM   #7
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Re: Question for the guys from a girl

Sounds like he's messing w/ you. Maybe he wants you to worry and keep 'trying' for him if/when he feels like spending time with you

Even if he's trying to be straight with you, evidently, for him 'feelings' mainly means sexual feelings.

Either way, doesn't sound like he's worth your time.



I once had prolonged intercourse with my ( now ex ) wife, and she wanted to stop because I hadn't orgasmed yet.

I think she had intimacy issues and viewed sex as a means of control ( over me ) primarily, and only secondarily for the sake of sharing in the relationship.

Only rarely would she let me perform oral sex on her, and when she did let me, she'd tell me to bite her clitoris.

Now, I've learned that direct stimulation to the clitoris is uncomfortable for many females, which leaves me thinking: 'not to mention biting it' ?

I think she feared that I'd learn 'skills' with her and use them on another woman. She was suspicious and paranoid like that. Any intimacy we may have had suffered because of such. It got so bad that we divorced.

Last edited by ethera; 08-19-2006 at 06:14 AM. Reason: added comment / format

 
Old 08-19-2006, 08:23 AM   #8
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Re: Question for the guys from a girl

Don't take it the wrong way, regardless of what happened. A lot of things can happen before or during sex that could make a man not orgasm and even lose his erection.... the mind is a powerful tool. So are medications. Both can influence an erection a LOT.. so whether he meant it or not shouldn't be your concern, and you should know that it wasn't your fault.

 
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