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Old 08-11-2006, 08:46 AM   #1
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Lose Sex interest

Hi,will guy lose their interest of having sex always with his wife? will they get bored of always having sex or they more prefer masturbating? why guy will lose interest after married? thanks in advance..

 
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Old 08-11-2006, 12:25 PM   #2
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Re: Lose Sex interest

Naturally, this will vary WIDELY person to person! I've been married for 25 years, and I certainly don't lust after my wife as much as I did in the past, but some of that is due to a physical problem. But I can tell you that as long as two people keep loving each other and are physically OK, then sex will continue. It might not be as often or intense as it was when they were younger, but it still happens. I still find my wife very attractive and I still want to make passionate love to her as often as possible. It's just not as often as it used to be for various reasons!

 
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Old 08-11-2006, 01:22 PM   #3
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Re: Lose Sex interest

I was thinking about this topic over lunch some more. I consider myself somewhat of an expert on it, being married to the same woman for 25 years and, in fact, the only woman I have ever "been with" in a sexual way!

Besides love, which is pretty important after 25 years together, you need to work at the sex. Sometimes, it simply does not come naturally if you are tired from taking care of the kids, stressed from work, stressed from dealing with the family, whatever. Often, weeks or months will go by with no good opportunity for really good sex, or any sex sometimes.

Married couples need to work at it. Get away for the weekend to a romantic place. The best sex ever was ALWAYS on romantic getaways, away from the kids, the dogs, the same familiar bed.

Or if you can suprise your significant other by sending the kids to grandma for the evening and having a romantic dinner and a movie with candles.

Or you can even go beyond that by doing something really sexy and special, buy a new nighty, trim "down there" (that makes a man wild, let me tell you), get a new perfume. You can even take it a step further. Most men like pornography. I know, we are sick, but it's who we are. If you can watch pornography together, you could have excellent sex. Unfortunately for us men, most wives are just not into it, so it could have the opposite effect. Or if you are into sex toys, you could both try that. Suprise him one night when he comes home from work dressed in a super sexy nighty (assuming no kids to deal with) or whatever. Use your imagination.

I'm telling you this because often it is the woman that loses interest in sex before the man and if you think about this and try not to let it happen to you, keep it fresh and suprise him, you can both have great sex in your marriage until the day your body just won't allow it anymore!

Good luck. I hope that others can learn from this!

 
Old 08-11-2006, 06:20 PM   #4
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Re: Lose Sex interest

Things I have learned in 35 years of marriage.

Both of you should keep your body trim if you can, but it is the love for one another that counts.

Don't wear boxer shorts unless she likes them. My wife let me know this the first year of marriage.

Tease her thoughout the week if it just means foreplay,but no action.
After a few days, while in bed, a final twenty minutes or so of foreplay.
Then, she should jump on you like it was her first time.

And above all, make sure she has an orgasm before you do! This I feel is a must. I never leave my wife feeling frustrated. I also learned that.

I might add, we have sex around 10-14 times a month. I have health issues also. I even take the little blue pill and she likes it because it gives us that extra twenty minutes or so for foreplay. But, what works for one does not work for all. Love for each other and communication is the most important out of everything I have learned.- sam

 
Old 08-18-2006, 04:35 AM   #5
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Audrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB UserAudrey-B HB User
Re: Lose Sex interest

I'm female and this is my take on this topic. Some men will always be unfaithful, no matter what you were willing to do sexually or otherwise for them. Other men may contemplate turning to masturbation and internet porn rather than real sex due to a partner not wanting sex or not wanting their type of sex (eg: a man may wish his partner to do oral and swallow, try anal, talk dirty in bed etc etc). Then there are other men who will still masturbate and look at porn no matter how good the quality/quantity of sex they get from their partner.

In a lot of marriages one partner will often put work, household chores, kids, sports etc etc at the top of the list and sex is left at the bottom. There is no harm in not washing the dishes on one night of the week and focusing instead on some passionate sex with one another. Even on a weekend, certain household tasks can wait till later or another day while the two of you have a lengthy passionate session or even just a quick one. TV shows can be taped and watched at a later time while you make out on the couch instead.

I know it all depends on whether you have kids or not, but it's amazing how many people can find a baby sitter for the kids when they attend a wedding or other engagement, but don't think/bother to find a sitter so that they can have time out together to work on their physical and intimate relationship.

If one partner keeps saying "no" to sex and giving more attention to the tv, household chores etc, the partner who does want the sex will likely turn to masturbation, porn, affairs or turns grumpy and attempts to make the one who said "no" guilty.

The things you do to keep the passion alive at the start of a relationship is what you have to keep doing right through a marriage. It takes work, but you get rewards in the long run. You have to keep adding new things to your relationship. Of course things will get boring if it's the same old thing year after year. You don't eat the same thing for lunch/dinner each day, so why would you keep your sexual routine the same.

The other area were problems occur is that men and women are different. A lot of men see sex as a physical thing. Women see it as an emotional thing. Women like to be romanced and to be made feel special. If more men remembered this they might get more action between the sheets.

The other thing is that a lot of women work outside the home and when they get home they have housework and children to organise. If more men helped their partner, the work would get done quicker, the wife would be more relaxed, again they might get more action between the sheets (sorry guys, but had to say it ) This is easily fixed, you design a chart and certain household tasks equal a particular sexual practice. It's amazing how males love playing this game!!

The bottom line is that marriages do not come with guarantees. You can do everything perfectly and the marriage can still fail. All you can do is your best and don't worry about what will happen in years down the track or what is happening in someone else marriage.

 
Old 08-18-2006, 05:51 AM   #6
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Re: Lose Sex interest

are you overweight?

i think a big factor what will make men not want it is the attraction of the female partner.
he might not find you that attractive anymore.

another point is being too tired for it. does he get up early & get back late? does he go gym alot (can take energy away)

or another point is maybe the action has become too repetitive & he would prefer to just please himself then to go through all the action of pleasing you as well (which related back to the second point of being too tired)

Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-18-2006 at 06:03 AM.

 
Old 08-18-2006, 06:10 AM   #7
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Re: Lose Sex interest

I completely agree with what everyone has said ... very, very good, strong advice. Sex after marriage does take work on the part of both partners. Like another poster mentioned with the foods you eat for lunch, after eight years, for instance, of a turkey sandwich on rye with cheese/mustard, you'll get tired of it. Gotta change it up to maybe a salad or wrap!

Re: the porn thing, most wives I know don't mind it. I mean, as long as it doesn't interfere or become a "problem." I don't see it any different than a woman watching a movie with a hot actor in it. Plus, I think it's a wonderful aid. Nothing turns DH on more than coming home from work with a surprise (me) laying in the bed with a movie on

Different strokes for different folks, tho. I like to use everything to our advantage

Just touching on the last poster's comments on weight, has your hubby gained weight? That was an issue for us right after marriage. My hubby put on weight after getting married and became very self-conscious about his body. It's definitely a two-way street with the "weight" thing.

 
Old 08-18-2006, 07:32 AM   #8
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Re: Lose Sex interest

Quote:
Originally Posted by StenoLady1
Just touching on the last poster's comments on weight, has your hubby gained weight? That was an issue for us right after marriage. My hubby put on weight after getting married and became very self-conscious about his body. It's definitely a two-way street with the "weight" thing.
im a guy.
i was just saying it from my point of view

 
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