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Old 08-20-2006, 12:58 PM   #1
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Unhappy Need some guidance...

This is a little detailed, sorry, but I feel so lost...

Well, I was at this party a couple days ago. It's all good and whatnot, got drunk, etc, but when it was late I went to sleep on the couch only to wake up to this guy hovering over me. he started touching me and it felt good, so I pretended I was sleeping until he starts with the oral sex. I kinda flipped, but he just kept going at it for a couple more minutes and I was like 'I cant do this' and then he tries to continue and starts kissing me, and I was kinda kissing him back, I get creeped out and told him to stop and that was that. I couldn't go back to sleep, and I see him coming over to me again, but my eyes are closed. He's touching me again and I can tell he's masturbating at the same time. I flip out again and he goes into the bathroom. And that was that... Couple minutes later, I leave to go home. I feel so awkward right now and guilty. I'm straight, love women and have my eye on this particular girl, but I can't stand the intense feeling of curiosity and the actual sexual arrousal I felt for another male... and it's been on my mind all the time.

I'm scared and curious at the same time. I'm 18 and this was my first ever sexual experience. I've never had any emotional attraction to a male and think about girls all the time, but I don't know what to make of this... I feel disgusting.

 
Old 08-20-2006, 01:05 PM   #2
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Re: Need some guidance...

You did what was right for you emotionally. You got up and went home.
Any other reaction you had was purely physical. Anyone in your position would have had the same.
Quit worrying, and quit beating yourself up. You are definitely heterosexual.
Anybody else would have felt the same curiosity. That is part of being human. You have nothing to feel disgusting about. Your acts were reasonable, and you did what you had to do to politely get out of the situation. Perhaps a little moderation with the alcohol, next time.

 
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Old 08-20-2006, 01:11 PM   #3
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Re: Need some guidance...

Thanks for your reply... but is it normal that I kinda enjoyed it? when he kissed me I was repulsed, but when he was touching my penis and started with the oral sex it was arousing... It may just be because of the curiosity, but I cant help but feel a sense of regret also.

 
Old 08-20-2006, 05:29 PM   #4
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Re: Need some guidance...

In my opinion, no man or woman is 100% heterosexual, or homosexual.
I know there are many who disagree with me, but I think it is mostly because of repulsion, and not because they haven't done it with someone of the same sex once. So you are down to 99.6% heterosexual. Is that really so sad?

I challenge any man to say they felt a mouth on their penis, that didn't feel good.

Any sex, no matter how far off from where you normally live, feels good compared to no sex at all.

Where does the regret come from?

 
Old 08-20-2006, 06:23 PM   #5
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Re: Need some guidance...

I regret that I let this happen because now I feel disgust... Looking back at it now I feel repulsed.

 
Old 08-21-2006, 04:48 AM   #6
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Re: Need some guidance...

You were drunk and had never had a sexual experience before. This was a sexual assault. You were overcome by the powerful sensation at the time but now what happened disgusts you. Any sexual experience when you never had one before is exciting but it also creeped you out enough to overcome that excitement. You have nothing to reproach yourself for. You did make him stop and the fact that you responded has little or no bearing on your real sexuality. I agree with Tommy that people's sexuality really covers a spectrum and a lot more people have bisexual tendencies than is genereally admitted. The fact that this guy preyed on some latent ones that you may have is also nothing to be ashamed of.
Geoff

 
Old 08-21-2006, 11:13 AM   #7
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Re: Need some guidance...

Thanks. I feel a lot better now.

 
Old 08-21-2006, 01:11 PM   #8
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Re: Need some guidance...

why would you feel disgust. if you didnt like what was going on from the get go you would have pushed him off. and being drunk is no excuse. so there is part of you that likes a guy going down on you. enjoy, its fun!!!

 
Old 08-21-2006, 01:14 PM   #9
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Re: Need some guidance...

I'm glad I helped a little bit. Do you know who this guy was? Will you ever have to confront him face to face? He probably has no idea of just how devastating this could have been for you. Please don't think all gay people are capable of doing such a thing as you just experienced. Gay and bisexual people run the full gamut of good and bad just like straight people do.
I feel for you but I think you will be alright. You might want to get checked for STDs though. Oral sex is not high-risk activity, except perhaps for herpes but he has to be a high-risk person. Sorry to lay that on you but I feel it has to be mentioned.
Geoff

Last edited by Geoff B; 08-21-2006 at 01:16 PM.

 
Old 08-21-2006, 01:25 PM   #10
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Re: Need some guidance...

Quote:
Originally Posted by hotgayboy21
why would you feel disgust. if you didnt like what was going on from the get go you would have pushed him off. and being drunk is no excuse. so there is part of you that likes a guy going down on you. enjoy, its fun!!!
He was drunk and half asleep. The guy never asked him but snuck up on him, thinking he was asleep. That is non-consensual sexual assault. Sebum has every excuse but is disgusted with himself for letting the sexual excitement overtake him at first before he fully realised what he was allowing and it creeped him out. This is a common reaction in other sexual assaults. What the guy did was terribly wrong but at least he did stop when he was asked.
Geoff

 
Old 08-22-2006, 07:24 AM   #11
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Re: Need some guidance...

If you were my kid, I would have been proud of you for the way you reacted.
I think your actions were honorable, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

 
Old 08-22-2006, 04:26 PM   #12
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Re: Need some guidance...

I'm over it now. Thanks a lot, everyone. I appreciate everything.

 
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