ever time i get a girl i really care and want to be with when it comes time to have sex i cant get it hard at all and the more i think about it it goes limper but when we have 4play its fine just right before we have sex and with other girls i have slept with that i liked but not as much its fine just the girls i really like that are beatiful it has happened twice and it has really afected my relation ships any help would be great
Relax dude, seriously relax. The more you are thinking about having sex the more uptight you are getting and this can cause erectile problems. Then of course you start getting upset about maybe having erectile problems and BAM, you can't get erect. So try to relax, and let it happen. I know it will be disappointing not to have sex with that particular girl on that particular night, but you will have another opportunity, so just chill.
You need to relax as someone stated, try laying ony our back, letting your gf get you turned on, just close your eyes so you don't know whats going on. Think of your best holiday away, and let her do what she does, tell her prior to this, play around with me for a while, then just get on and sit on it whithout telling me, before you know it your beautiful girl is jumping up and down and you can't get enough of it,
Or... try a couple of beers to relax you. Not a long term cure, but get 1 or 2 intercourses under your belt, and you will learn how to be relaxed.. Good luck.
thanks for the advise guys but sadly i still panic and usly i never have another chance to do it again are i put my self in an area where she wouldnt want to for fear of it happenin again dont know all i think about is if ill come to soon are if she will think of it to small cuz she has had bigger and the sad thing is i never had any complaints before but i still worrie the drinkin thing does work abit wierd how a few beers are shots peels away the worrie think its a confidenc problem
Remember, it is oft times normal to be nervous with a new partner. Many I'm sure don't go straight into sex perfectly prepared. I feel your anxiety, but please remember it is normal. Just as you said, that is what foreplay is all about. It's that simple. Perhaps explain to your girlfriend your situation. If she cares for you she will understand and it will ease you up alot I'm sure. Also, you are not alone. There are many guys out there from what I've read that share your situation.
You're not the only one. I'm almost in the same exact situation and am just starting to work my way out of this. I highly suggest taking some viagra or something like that so you feel really confident before intercourse. I know the nervous feeling, it happened to me 9 years ago on a 1 night stand and ever since then it's been in my head. I didn't have too much problems w/my last girlfriend but it's happening now with current GF again. It happens the most when it's with someone new. When I don't think about I'm fine but if I start thinking if I'm erect or not that is when the problems occur. If you feel turned on don't think about your penis, it's gonna be erect if you're into girl. The past few weeks I've been taking Viagra and it has worked great, it really has helped me get this out of my head. Even w/Viagra I experienced this problem, the most important thing for me is maintaining arrousal. W/o arousement the viagra won't work. I think sometimes when the impotence occurs I get so down on myself as it's happening I lose arrousal. I'm so caught up in my erection I forget that I have a naked girl in front of me that wants to have sex. Earlier this week I backslid a little and let my nervousness get the best of me even w/the viagra. It was terrible, ruined my whole day. So the next night I really focused on the sex aspect and how badly I wanted to do it. All day I kept telling myself how I was going to be with my GF that night while also battling the anxiety. Try masturbating/watch porn before you see your GF and prove to yourself you can get a hard erection. The next time we did it after impotence occurence I could feel my erection going away again as I was about to start intercourse but I started talking aloud to my gf how badly I wanted her and such, dirty talk, and it helped me through it. Think about sex and not your penis. The next day we did it w/o Viagra and I was fine. Just focus on the sex and if it's you're cup of tea, talk really dirty to your partner. I was about to ravage her this morning w/o a Viagra and felt the most confident I've been since we were together. We didn't have time but my confidence is back now.
I'm eventually planning to stop taking the viagra, smaller doses every week unitl taking it becomes more of mental thing. It's also easier to do it spontaneously in the middle night too. You're mind is tired and the sex happens so quickly there's no time to get nervous.
Feel free to contact me if you need further advice, you're not the only one dealing with this and it doesn't make you less of a man.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 11-16-2006 at 04:42 PM.
Reason: Vulgar language is not allowed on these boards. Neither is attempting to disguise it.
i greatly apriciate the help sadly we wont be given it a go again we dont really talk any more some times i wounder what is wrong i have gorgouse women all the time that want to have sex they tell me are they make it very obviouse but i get so nervous all i can think about is if it will be big inuf for them are is it going to work this time stuff like that i have never had a problem with the size thing just in my head ive lost my sex drive couse of this i just try not to think about it and i get really clingy once i find some one i like and i know it and i still do think there cheatin are liein all the time dont know if that is a self confidence thing are what it doesnt help i have had really bad relation ships in the past but some one my age of 23 should have no problem wantin to have sex wit women all the time i think this fear of mine has really mested me up this last girl i dont know if she thinks im gay are what couse i havent tried to have sex again from fear of this dont know if i should get pro help are what thx again for your advise