21 y.o erections? - Sexual Health - Men Message Board

http · 12-22-2006, 08:58 AM

hi there,

ive just met a great girl and its all been great but ive been having problems maintaining an erection. i find that i can only maintain the erection for as long as shes touching it, as soon as she moves her hand/leg/mouth any bodypart away from my penis it seems to soften up.

Its really got my confidence down, because the last 5-6 times weve tried, have just been duds, with one of us getting angry. i feel so much lesser of a man and im only 21, and she thinks shes not attractive enough for me(but shes a extremley attractive woman, normally i can get hard just thinking about her)

im worried its because of whats happend to me in the last 2 years of my life, ive gone somewhat without a sexual partner during this time, and relied heavily on Mrs. Palm, and in the last half a year its got to much as masturbating 2-5 times a day, with lots of porn.

she gets me all horny when im around her but i just cant seem to keep it up from the time she releases it from her hand to her vagina.(which is like 2-3 seconds?)

im just really worried about this because im only 21 and having trouble maintaining an erection.

not to mention the first time we tried to have sexual intercourse it was TOTALLY limp. I dont believe im stressed, ive been sleeping roughly 7 hours a day, and the added pressure of feeling like i have to perform good is really getting to me.

is this common?
could this be because of the masturbation?
should i see a doctor?

(ive never had this problem before with past partners and yet non have turned me on quite like this one does)

SpunkyStuart · 12-22-2006, 09:31 AM

Firstly, any failure makes us feel worse and we become more anxious about the next time. then the next time the anxiety takes over, and whoops, off it goes again.

So you have a few things to look at

1 get more sleep, rest and relaxation
2 stop trying to have sex with your gf for the time being
3 cut down on the use of your hand
4 get the thoughts of failure out of your head
5 work this through with your gf

1 to 3 are pretty obvious, 4 and 4 are the toughest

Stop worrying about it by stopping trying, at least for the moment to have sex. Spend good quality comfort time with your gf, not naked, but just relaxing together. Get comfortable with her just being nestled with you. No sex, just being close, cuddling kissing. Stay like this for a while, until you are both nicely used to each other, then move on to lying naked together, just touching each others bodies but not sexually. Do this for a while until you are relaxed with it, maybe this will take a few days, maybe a few weeks. Just dont hurry it at all.

Then after a while try to get a bit more sexual, touching and caressing but not actually aiming to have sex. After a while of this you should not be nearly as anxious about this as you were, she should be understanding and happy to go along with it. Then when you feel ready to have unpressureised sex, give it a go under the heading of "it doesnt matter".

Most importantly relax, dont worry, talk about it, dont argue about it, dont blame each other etc.

Good luck