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Old 02-17-2007, 08:09 AM   #1
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Low to non-existent sex drive

I have a bit of a problem, for many a year now i find that i dont have much sex drive at all. I am 28 y/o and im sure i should be ready and willing any time, however not me.

I had a bit of a bad experience when i was younger but im dont think it is the problem. it was a bit of black maile to get me to have sex with a girl. I am also on medication for a spinal problem. Amitriptlyine, tramadol, df118.

My wife gets very very frustrated and this puts a hell of a lot of pressure on me. To the point i dread going to bed at night with her. i cant give her what she wants.
I have periods of time now and again that i do get the urge quite often within a week or two. but then it dissaapears again.
One big problem is that we want a child, and we all know what that entails. My wife is doing her very best to prepare her self to allow conception, and i unfortunetly cant deliver. I really want a family too but the sex is none exsistent and i dont know what to do. She is using special gadgets to predict ovulation and at the moment we should be having sex every other day to make the most out of this time of fertility of my wife!!!
What can i do to get my sex drive back. I do suffer from a lot of pain every day to do with my back and this needs medicating and i think that may be the problem but i know other people who have bad backs and they dont seem to have any problems.

If any one can help me and give me some idea as to what i can do or any thing i can read or even counselling that we could attend. I may even resort to pornography to see if it stirs any basal instinct within me. I dont have a problem with erections but its the desire for sex thats the problem.
Thank you for your time in reading this it is much appreciated

Last edited by ljhill; 02-18-2007 at 12:43 PM. Reason: i dont need viagra!!

 
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Old 02-17-2007, 09:30 PM   #2
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Re: Low to non-existent sex drive

i am having the same problem with my parter at present and honestly as much as its frustratrating your wife im sure she is trying to understand. maybe you two need to talk about it more, get all your feelings and thoughts about the situation out on the table and figure out how to work out the situation. if watching porn together or just setting a night every week to make love. if seeing a couples councelor might help well do that.
its funny because i thought it was just me and my partner going through all this but since joining this board i am begining to realise its quite common and its really helping me.
sorry i probably wasnt much help, maybe you need a guys input

 
Old 02-18-2007, 07:03 AM   #3
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Re: Low to non-existent sex drive

Maybe all those med have killed your testosterone & increased your estradiol E2. Get both checked. Your "T" should be in the upper 1/4 of the range & the E2 should be in the lower 1/4 of its range.

 
Old 02-18-2007, 07:27 AM   #4
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Re: Low to non-existent sex drive

Thank you for your replies, we have been talking a lot more about things so hopefully we can work it out. Be it one way or another. My hormone levels are definetly a concern to myself and i think it will be on my list to see the doc about. This hopefully will rule things in or out.
Thank again
If any one else has more advise it would be much appreciated.
LJH

 
Old 02-23-2007, 11:15 AM   #5
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Re: Low to non-existent sex drive

Those meds can kill your sex drive and so can being in pain all the time. I've been on the other end of that and, as the wife, it sucks. I cannot imagine going though it while trying to get pregnant. That just makes it double frustrating for the both of you.

One thing that I can think of that may help her a little emotionally, is to make sure that you are having regular physical contact with her even if it is not of a sexual nature. Let her know that you love her and that this isn't her fault.

 
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