Re: Someone Please Help me
A lot of guys go through exactly what you are now, some when younger some when older. The adult sexuality is never set in stone, and wavers between completely heterosexual to completely homosexual, with all things in between being possible all at the same time.
A lot of sex is in ones head at a low sub conscious level, but controlled from the penis. We really have no choice in our sexuality apart from choosing whether to allow the subconscious control the outcome or the conscious! In other words, you can choose whether you adopt the sexuality that your body wants or you choose what you want. So from here you can accept that you may be more gay than straight or you can suppress it and carry on having a straight life.
Depending on your social conditions this choice can be very hard or very easy. If you live in a gay part of San Francisco it may be easier to come out to family / friends etc than if you live in an area where gays get murdered just for being gay!
Your feelings may change over time, you may have already realised that actually you are "using" your gf to hide your feelings. You must take her into account when you decide what you are going to do. A lot of people live a double life, which is a shame. If you are already getting turned on by gay pron then you already know that you probably want to take this further and meet up with a guy and have a good time. There are many ways of doing this, some a lot safer than others!
Internet dating sites are pretty safe, (this is how I met my boyfriend / partner of 4 + years!) and you can arrange to meet potentially suitable guys easily and safely. Whether this is just for sex or for a longer term friendship/ relationship obviously depends on both of you! I would suggest that you try meeting up with some guys this way (not all at the same time LOL) and just meet up and chat. Don't be pressured into having sex, you don't need to if you don't want to. make this clear when you chat, there can be some guys who would rather not chat/meet first timers and there are good guys who will happily help you chat through things.
Other ways of meeting guys are gay clubs / bars, adverts in local papers, chatting with known gay guys and you have to choose your method.
Safety in sex is a simple matter of being careful, there are tons of safe sex messages out on the web so give these a read.
I hope I have answered some of your questions without being too verbose for the forum, if you want to ask more please feel free.