My boyfriend of 3 months doesn't seem able to have sex with me for more than 10 minutes, and that is being generous, it's more like 5 - 7 minutes (not that I'm timing). At first, I suppose it was flattering to a degree, thinking that he was that turned on, but it's rapidly becoming a problem. The sex is great, but I am unable to have an orgasm in that short amount of time and though I don't need one absolutely every time, I do need to have one every so often. I honestly have never had this problem and I hate to admit it, but I don't really know how to approach the subject with him. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I admit I'm starting to feel a bit resentful about it. He's normally a very sensitive person, but it's like he either doesn't notice that I'm not orgasming, or maybe it's possible he doesn't care, which I don't think is the case, but what the hek?! We're both in our thirties, and I guess there's the part of me that says "how can a man of his age, being previously married for 8 years, not be able to last longer, and how can he not notice that I'm not having an orgasm"? Any advice on how to approach this subject with him would be most appreciated... for an open an communicative person, I'm at a loss as to how to broach it without putting him on the defensive or hurting his feelings.
I think you should just tell him... He has to know what he is doing and if you do not tell him he will possibly claim ignorance... I think the longer you wait the more resentful you will become and then it will become a big issue...
You are absolutely right, I definitely need to talk to him about it, but I'm just now sure what to say... What if it was a problem that you had, is there a way that you would want to hear it? Or are there things that I should avoid saying, that you as a male wouldn't want to hear?
I would think that you should say, our sex together is good, but it could be better. and here is what I think would make it better... Whatever you do, IMO, do not bring up his past relationships or yours...That always turns things into a mess... The thing that I would want to hear is something to the effect of " I get really into this and then It ends without my having an orgasm.. I just want the same as you!!! that is not alot to ask... You mentioned that this guy was married before...it is possible that his ex had some sort of sex problem or trauma and this became the norm for them...you know what I mean... like just hurry up and get it over with... I am of course just speculating... if he is not selfish and just has developed a bad habit then you telling him that he can make you orgasm.and you cannot wait until he does will make him a new man... I really get off on watching my wife have an orgasm...I think most men do...esp when they are the cause....
