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Old 04-18-2007, 05:12 AM   #1
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It won't stay hard if it's not in something

I just recently started dating someone seriously and we are sexually active. She is only my 2nd sexual partner. The problem is that my penis will get hard when we're just making out and I still have my underwear on, or when she goes down on me, or during intercourse, but when I take off my boxers, or when she stops giving me head so we can have sex, or if I pull out of her, I will quickly lose my erection. Once I get it into her it's fine (although I'm not really experienced yet and don't last too long without breaks).

Anyway I can often maintain erections at the oddest times when she's not around (the infamous morning erection for example). So it's not that I can't get an erection at all, it's just hard to maintain during foreplay. It's really starting to bother me. Often I have to sit there masturbating for a bit so I can get hard again and then immediately penetrate her. This also often makes condom use unrealistic. Is it stage fright? Sexual anxiety? I'm wondering if I should try herbs or get one of those erection rings. Any suggestions?

Last edited by Mod-S4; 04-18-2007 at 01:48 PM. Reason: Note edits to your post. Please use proper terminology.

 
Old 04-18-2007, 07:42 AM   #2
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Re: It won't stay hard if it's not in something

Does this happen with any girl you're with? Maybe it's the girl. Could it be that you're not having enough foreplay? As for sexual devices/enhancements, if you're young, you shouldn't need any of them. Are you having sex in a secure place? There can be many reasons why this is happening. If you're masturbating earlier before having sex, that will put a damper on things! It could be that you just have to many things on your mind.

 
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Old 04-18-2007, 11:27 AM   #3
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Re: It won't stay hard if it's not in something

Sounds like what it is is the fact that you're not completely at ease and worried about losing your erection. It is very common among men, especially the sexually inexperienced I'd say.

I think you're right, it's performance anxiety, a very real thing.

-h

 
Old 04-21-2007, 03:39 AM   #4
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Re: It won't stay hard if it's not in something

may be performance anxiety...go do doc and ask for viagra or cialis..if you are also having premature ejaculation, then get on paxil...once you have some success with this, your confidence will go up and you can taper off of these drugs to the point where you won't need them...good luck

 
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