sorry new to this but just needed help, we have been married nearly a year now and in the begining sex was okish but now its far from ok!!! i'm scared to ask her for it as i'm scared of the rejection yet again.
we have spoken about it loads but she has finally stuck the knife in!! she said she doesnt care for sex, it dooes nothing for her (which it does when we do it) and she wouldnt care if i had sex with another girl, as long as i didnt fall in love with another girl and just got what i wanted, she thinks that 'i was happy she was happy' but thats not the case i jusy want my beautiful,stunning,funny sexy wife back. i feel so alone she just doesnt want me in that way and i cant belive she would want me to sleep with another girl really... would she??? i wouldnt let anyone else touch her!! i love her so so much.
just to let you know im not gonna do it and ive told her that, i love her too much, i know she loves me she shows me in other ways but dont think she really gets it?
Gosh, friend. So sorry for you. But your marriage cannot survive like that. At the advanced stage (25 + years) of my marriage, our sex is infrequent, but not dismissed by either of us. You, however, with just beyond a year should be far from shut down mode. And yes, it's alarming to know your wife encourages you to seek a sexual 'vent' with another woman! I have to wonder if there are not some serious demons in her past, reason(s) for shunning the sexual attention of a male - her life partner, no less. 'hate to say it, buddy, but this sounds like a serious need for some intervention/counseling for her. Tell me, do you have or do you plan for children at some point in the marriage?
As a woman I would have to wonder about your wife. You say the sex is okish which makes me think she is not being totally satisfied. If you're the wham, bam, thank you ma'am type then it'd be no wonder. Women take a while to get stimulated..and if she isn't really getting anything out of it then she probably feels like she can do without it. A lot of women, I am sorry to say, will fake it so their partner feels that they are pleasing them. Its the wrong thing to do from the get go because eventually they will get disgruntled and not want to have sex at all. If a man is only out for his pleasure and doesn't take the time to please his partner then its no wonder. However, I don't know exactly what the situation is with you and your wife. I've been married a couple of times and my first husband wasn't all that much into sex which totally surprised me for someone in their 20s. You'd think men thought about sex 24/7. However, we'd have sex and there would be no foreplay..he'd just do it, ejaculate and then that was it. I was supposed to "enjoy" that which did absolutely nothing for me. I needed to be stimulated and not once was I able to achieve orgasm with him because he would not take the time.
My second, however, was a horn dog and wanted it a lot. I went from one extreme to the other. I wound up with urinary tract infections quite often. He did a lot of foreplay, oral and intercourse which I enjoyed. Problem with him was I wasn't enough and he was then looking into threesomes and swapping and I was not into that at all. Needless to say that one sure didn't last.
hey thanks for your words, i can honestly say i,m not a wham bam kind of man, well i try not to be, i love foreplay i love trying to please her, oral sex ect... but i'm not always allowed to she just wants it done!! 2/3 mins into it i'm told to ***. i want more than that. to be honsest some times its ok but not often. when she gets drunk which is not very much she is like a porn star!! which at the time is great and i make the most of it,but thinking about it it hurts, i'm only attractive when she is drunk!! or she can only bare it if she is drunk. she says this is not true but its easy to say it, but i'm still waiting each day for that effection i crave from my wife, and still i can honestly say i have not thought about or looked at another girl. my wife is stunning and i just want her, not all the time i'm not that bad but just normal kind of sex life 2/3 times a week, is that normal? then if i'm not starved of it then it wont be such an issue and always on my mind.
i was thiking about sleeping in the spare room because it is murder seeing her in her underwear( bloody sexy!!) it is like a big tease its not her fault but it might help me? would it make it worse??
hey thank you for your words,
i understand what your saying its not good is it!!?? i dont really think she means it 100% well i hope she doesnt as it hurts me so much to think she doesnt care. if we talk about it that is classed as me hassleing har about the dredded sbject sex!! i'm just a normal guy who thinks the world of his wife and wants to make love to her! deffinatly not some random girl ive been there done that years ago!! i want to make love to my wife and for her to want me!
yes we have a daughter who is 19 months old and she's great, i know kids are hard work and she will get tired but all the time i get forgotten, i do the romantic stuff for her all the time tired or not, but do i get it back... no!
when i do the romantic stuff she just sees it as me trying to get sex which to be honest is partly true but only because i'm starved of it so much. if it was just normal 2/3 times aweek then i would continue to be mr romantic but i'd realise it doesnt always have to be with the angle of getting sex because i wouldnt be so desperate, did you see on my other reply my idea of sleeping in spare room, what do you think good or bad idea??
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