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Old 07-28-2007, 06:36 PM   #1
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Question My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

Hi, my husband and I have been married 4 years now. He has started in the past year or so... he started having wet dreams very often. Sometimes we can have sex and go to sleep. A couple of hours later, he has a wet dream. When I ask him about it, he refuses to talk about it and always says it was a dream, but he can't remember anything about it.
When I am persistent, he sometimes says it is with someone but he don't know who... no face.
Is my husband dreaming of someone he knows? Is this normal? What would this be a sign of?
Please help me! This makes me really uncomfortable and I don't know what to do.
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Last edited by Sug2007; 07-29-2007 at 01:00 PM. Reason: rewording

 
Old 07-29-2007, 02:18 PM   #2
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

I think you should stop worrying and not interrogate your husband. Wet dreams are clearly beyond anyone's control. And making him feel guilty about fantasies is a sure way to undermine intimacy. It sounds like there are some insecurities at play here that could damage your relationship. Unless you have some concrete reasons not to, you should trust your husband and relax.

 
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Old 07-30-2007, 12:02 PM   #3
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

I agree with the last post. These dreams are normal, and some of us have them after marriage, though I think most of us stop having them by the time we're 25. One thing for sure, it's okay when I'm single and sleeping alone, but now that I'm married, I wouldn't want to discuss having one with my wife! It's a very private issue, not to be discussed with a woman for some men. A lot of men just don't like to discuss these type of things, even with another guy! So, long story short. Leave him alone, you'll make him very self-concious about his body if you don't.

 
Old 07-30-2007, 04:52 PM   #4
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

I think every woman should know that most (western) men are huge 'sex fantasy machines' ready accept the call for 'immediate mounting' at any time, at least until they reach the age of 60 or so. The multibillion dollar online porn industry speaks to this issue with the facts of this mental fantasy. Whether your guy is satisfied with you is almost secondary to his probable fantasy world of sex and satisfaction. Admittedly whether you and he want to explore his sex fanasy world together only you two can decide but it will be difficult for him to be totally open and free because societal norms about monogamous relationships are old and strong. Is having fvarious sex fantasies a form of 'cheating'?
One question to ask yourself is whether you are threatened by his fantasies and deeper sex desires than he currently shows. The idea that his inner world is forbidden to you, as suggested by other posts, seems to ignore the possibility that growth is open ended. Yes, many men are easily scared by the world of woman and sex, esp. fantasy sex. Are you certain the spots of semen on the sheets are 'wet dreams' and not secret masturbations?

 
Old 07-30-2007, 06:42 PM   #5
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

Don't worry, this is normal for a man, and you are just making him feel bad about it. No sense in being so suspicious, does this mean you do not trust him?

Do you not have fantasies yourself?

 
Old 07-31-2007, 03:51 PM   #6
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

My husband also does. We have a very good relationship and fortunately we are able to discuss it. My husband admitts that sometimes we don't have enough sex, and I read that if a man does not masturbate, bodily fluids build up and they NEED to excrete them....hence a wet dream.

 
Old 08-05-2007, 10:55 AM   #7
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

The thing is though, we had sex one night and went to bed, alittle later he had a wet dream... If he is just getting rid of what's built up, how could that happen?
I totally trust my husband to not do anything in real life.
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Old 08-05-2007, 12:11 PM   #8
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

The point you are missing is that HE has NO control over this. I'm sure if he did, he would control it. I agree with the other posters - drop it. You are making him feel guilty about something he can do nothing about.

 
Old 08-05-2007, 02:53 PM   #9
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

Do you control your dreams? Come on now, drop it. Maybe your husband is just really sexual, I it take you guys are relatively young. He is not cheating on you no matter who appears in his dreams - even if it the check-out girl at the market!!! You want to ruin your sex life or even your marriage, keep up the nagging and interogating!

 
Old 08-06-2007, 06:46 PM   #10
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

I wouldn't worry about it - my boyfriend has wet dreams often and wakes up with an erection every morning. I think it depends on the man. If you are overly concerned though, maybe try speaking to a doctor? Even him? I can understand you may worry about upsetting him, but maybe he worries as well?

Just ideas/ opinions.
x Stef x
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Old 08-07-2007, 05:40 AM   #11
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

And, frankly, this might all be a compliment to you. It may be that you get him so aroused and get his mojo running so high that he has wet dreams even in the afterglow of intercourse. If any of this is a reflection on you, it's a positive reflection not a negative one. Stop worrying about it.

 
Old 09-29-2007, 04:56 PM   #12
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Re: My husband has wet dreams OFTEN

Yes, married men still have nocturnal emissions even if they are having regular times of sex. I'm in my sixties and I still have a wet dream on occasion. It is just the body's way of getting rid of excess semen. My wife has no concern over this just as she has no concern over erections while I'm sleeping. We are thankful the equipment works very well at this age.

 
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