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Old 12-08-2007, 12:01 PM   #1
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JamesM14 HB User
Contrasting performance

Hi, first ever post on here and i registered to get advice on a problem I am having with intercourse with my girlfriend.

I'm 24 and she is 19, and both are in good health, we have been together 2 months, and everything is great, and things are/were amazing between us sexually. And we both have high sex drives.

Now the problem is that in the first few weeks of us going out it would often take me a long time to orgasm for the first time in a session, to the point of us having to stop as she would run dry after an hour or so having ejaculated several times & orgasmed and would become too sore to continue.

As things went on I relaxed more and this was not happening quite so often. Although my orgasming for a 2nd time would still take a long time.

But in recent weeks I'm now the complete opposite and its beginning to seriously affect my self-confidence. But I still find her irresistible and most any time we're alone together we have intercourse, and thus I have no time to analyze the problem!

We're doing nothing differently to how we usually do, beginning with my manually stimulating her to get her started before we get going properly. But now after only 2mins or less I become overwhelmed & I orgasm for the first time before she even has once! I have tried what I know to delay things but to no avail!

We usually can continue on after this, but not always, a few minutes later and things have been almost to normal, although my orgasming for a 2nd time is within about 20mins or so.

But I can think of no reason for my contrasting performance and I find is very worrying and depressing. My girlfriend says "its fine, don't worry about it" when I apologize for it, but of course I'm not happy with her having to accept it as its not what we're used to.

Some notes: We always have un-protected sex as she is on the pill. And another worrying thing is that since we have been together I hardly masturbate and find it difficult nor the need to do so.

NB: Is there any Medical Condition / Medication that can cause this?

Any advice/help is greatly appreciated.

Last edited by JamesM14; 12-08-2007 at 12:25 PM.

 
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:37 PM   #2
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Re: Contrasting performance

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesM14 View Post
...

NB: Is there any Medical Condition / Medication that can cause this?

Any advice/help is greatly appreciated.
Hi

Are you taking any medication that would cause this? Well, since you say you are healthy people, I would rather think in terms of psychology or emotions. Are you in love with your girl-friend? Do you perhaps find her to be too beautiful? What is your relationship like outside the bedroom? Do you think your relationship has a future? These are some of the questions that you might be asking yourself.

Lastly, something occurs to me that some people might consider immoral. But if you are really worried about your performance and want to put it to the test, you could try and do it with another girl, preferably with someone you are not emotionally involved, such as a sex professional or whatever you call her. See how it goes.

Hope this helps.

 
Old 12-09-2007, 04:55 AM   #3
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SpunkyStuart HB User
Re: Contrasting performance

The more you worry about it the worse it will get, so calm down.

Try to think about your life to see if anything has changed, and what it might be. This could give you a clue. Otherwise, you could try to masturbate a bit more as this is good training for sex.

 
Old 12-09-2007, 09:03 PM   #4
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JamesM14 HB User
Re: Contrasting performance

Thanks for the replies guys, relieved to have some frank & impartial advice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pendulum View Post
Are you taking any medication that would cause this? Well, since you say you are healthy people, I would rather think in terms of psychology or emotions. Are you in love with your girl-friend? Do you perhaps find her to be too beautiful? What is your relationship like outside the bedroom? Do you think your relationship has a future?
Well I was on heavy antibiotics a few weeks ago, but I've no idea if they can affect anything in this way or how long they take to get out of your system.

Most probably is emotional/psychological, yes I do love her very much and it has been such a whirlwind romance, and things have gotten very serious and between us very quickly. But our relationship outside the bedroom can be quite the roller-coaster ride, even stormy at times perhaps. And having only been together 2 months trust between us is a problem, and both of us having issues cause of bad past experiences.

I do think we have a future if we can learn to trust each other and cut out the unnecessary drama.

 
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