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Old 02-06-2008, 03:05 PM   #1
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Unhappy 18 and having probs with sex please help

ok so my gf and i tried to have sex the other night and being a virgin i thought i would have probs holding back and premature ejaculating or something like that, well the exact opposite happend I couldnt get a full erection it was like 40% hard but not near hard enough to have enjoyable sex i had the hardest time geting it in and when i did i thought i deff should get really hard now well nope just stayed at 40% it kept bending everywich way and falling out then i tried getting on top and i couldnt even get it in at all so i told her i was sorry but just couldnt get it up and i was both embarrised and confused what had just happend. it was a nightmare and now she wants to try again this weekend and im stressed out and scared.. what if this happens again

also i find myself not getting horny ever i use to masterbate daily but now i just have no urge to.

what is wrong with me what should i do?

i dont want to already have to take viagra im only 18

 
Old 02-06-2008, 03:25 PM   #2
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Re: 18 and having probs with sex please help

I'm sorry you're having this trouble - I know it's a real anxious time, I've been there myself.

First thing, is communicate with your girl and talk about it like it's a physical thing you're trying to work through. That way, she's aware and can help you not be emberassed when it happens (if it happens).

Second, if it continues to be a problem, go visit your doc and tell him everything. He can offer lots of tests that might reveal things like low testosterone or any numer of other physical causes.

One question - do you get night time erections and morning erections? This might help determine if your issue is physical or mental. There's no shame in either.

Main thing - open communications with your girl. She needs to be your partner in this - not the person you're trying to "perform" for. That will make a huge difference when there are problems.

Good luck, man, plenty have experienced exactly what you're going through. It's not the end of the world, ok.

 
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Old 02-06-2008, 03:37 PM   #3
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Re: 18 and having probs with sex please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by sonvolt View Post
I'm sorry you're having this trouble - I know it's a real anxious time, I've been there myself.

First thing, is communicate with your girl and talk about it like it's a physical thing you're trying to work through. That way, she's aware and can help you not be emberassed when it happens (if it happens).

Second, if it continues to be a problem, go visit your doc and tell him everything. He can offer lots of tests that might reveal things like low testosterone or any numer of other physical causes.

One question - do you get night time erections and morning erections? This might help determine if your issue is physical or mental. There's no shame in either.

Main thing - open communications with your girl. She needs to be your partner in this - not the person you're trying to "perform" for. That will make a huge difference when there are problems.

Good luck, man, plenty have experienced exactly what you're going through. It's not the end of the world, ok.

I get morning erections almost every morning when i wake up but i just dont have the sex drive like i use to... i use to want to masterbate and now the thought sounds boring i use to get boners all the time durring school and now i dont get them at all... im very confused its like one week i was normal next i dont have the sex drive.... kinda worried about talking to a doctor my parents dont know that im sexually active and i dont know how to go about talking with my doc.

 
Old 02-06-2008, 06:34 PM   #4
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Re: 18 and having probs with sex please help

Well don't be nervous about talking to your doctor - he's not going to go running to your parents and blabbing that you're sexually active - you are 18 after all.

Just describe to your doc what the problem is, explain that your sex drive is very low and ask if he'd test your blood for hormones (testosterone). That will give a pretty good indication if it's hormones working against you.

I just reread your original post. It's possible that you were so worried about premature ejaculation that you couldn't get fully hard. Stranger things have happened, believe me. Again, open communication with your girl is essential. For instance, if she knows you're worried about coming too soon, you both can be prepared for it and just laugh it off - believe me, it happens to MOST virgins until they get some experience under their belt. My point it, once you guys talk it out and get everything on the table, including your emotions and fears, they won't be so bad and you'll see your partner lying there, not your judge.

Work on the physical part with your doctor and the emotional part with your girl and you'll be doing all you can do. If neither meet with success, Viagra will do wonders, and after a couple times, you may not even need it at all.

Keep your chin up, these problems almost always get better if you keep your head and don't start imagining the worst.

Good luck!

 
Old 02-06-2008, 06:53 PM   #5
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Re: 18 and having probs with sex please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by sonvolt View Post
Well don't be nervous about talking to your doctor - he's not going to go running to your parents and blabbing that you're sexually active - you are 18 after all.

Just describe to your doc what the problem is, explain that your sex drive is very low and ask if he'd test your blood for hormones (testosterone). That will give a pretty good indication if it's hormones working against you.

I just reread your original post. It's possible that you were so worried about premature ejaculation that you couldn't get fully hard. Stranger things have happened, believe me. Again, open communication with your girl is essential. For instance, if she knows you're worried about coming too soon, you both can be prepared for it and just laugh it off - believe me, it happens to MOST virgins until they get some experience under their belt. My point it, once you guys talk it out and get everything on the table, including your emotions and fears, they won't be so bad and you'll see your partner lying there, not your judge.

Work on the physical part with your doctor and the emotional part with your girl and you'll be doing all you can do. If neither meet with success, Viagra will do wonders, and after a couple times, you may not even need it at all.

Keep your chin up, these problems almost always get better if you keep your head and don't start imagining the worst.

Good luck!

thanks! ill deff talk to my gf about it and maybe see a doctor because i dont know if it stress or possibly low testosterone.

i do consider myself as an overstressed person with a lot of worries so that may be my prob.... but then again i still dont know what happend to my sex drive

 
Old 02-06-2008, 07:47 PM   #6
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Re: 18 and having probs with sex please help

Stress can kill sex drive too, no doubt. Waking up with erections is generally a pretty good indicator that testosterone is ok, but it never hurts to have it checked.

 
Old 02-06-2008, 07:52 PM   #7
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Re: 18 and having probs with sex please help

I have low T but still get morning erections. Its possible to have Low t and still morning erections so i wouldnt rule it out

 
Old 02-07-2008, 06:00 PM   #8
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Re: 18 and having probs with sex please help

because i think we may try again this weekend on sat should i masterbate the next few days? or not

if i dont will i be maybe more horny
if i do will it be like muscle memmory and help me get it up?

lol kinda stupid question i guess but i seriously dont know>? should i or not or will it make no diff

 
Old 02-12-2008, 06:36 PM   #9
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Re: 18 and having probs with sex please help

Hey Paintball3r

This reply might be a little late, since the weekend has already gone by. Your posts indicate that you're definitely stressed by this situation, and worrying about it has only made you more anxious. It's very difficult, if not impossible, to stop worrying when you're in this situation, so I won't say, "Don't worry" .

You need to relax with your gf. Don't try having sex at the moment; the time will arrive soon enough when you are ready for it. Instead of sex at first, try to become comfortable with her body and your own. Explain this to your gf and ask for her understanding. Buy some massage oil and use it on each other. Gentle touching is what you need. Explore her body and allow her to explore your body. Experiment with your hands and let your gf to do the same.

Take it easy. The time will come when the problems you are having at the moment will be just a memory.

Best wishes. Hope everything turns out well for you and your gf.
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Old 02-13-2008, 08:11 PM   #10
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Re: 18 and having probs with sex please help

thanks! we didnt do anything over the weekend but i have a feeling we will try again very soon with v-day tomorrow and the weekend so... im gonna just try to relax and what ever happens happens

thanks for the advise!!!!

 
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