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Old 07-06-2008, 11:58 PM   #1
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Desperately need help with premature ejaculation

Hello everyone. I'm going to give a little background about what happened to me hopefully someone can give me good advice.

To start, I'm 23, and virgin. I'll be getting married in 6 to 12 months. I chose to stay a virgin myself, but I used to masturbate since age 12. 10 years ago when I was 13 I moved to the USA with my family, and came back to my country when I was 19. Up until the age 20 I was able to get an erection so easily and I could control my erection, I could keep it for as long as I wanted. When I ejaculated, I would still have my erection and could go for a second and even third time. But after age 20, I started getting weaker physically. I lost about 20 lbs (unintentionally), and I don't know if it's possible, but my penis shrunk about an inch. Since then I cannot get erections like before, and the erection goes away as soon as I stop touching my penis, the erections are not as hard as they used to be either. Before age 20 I was able to get a hard erection with just thinking of sexy thoughts.

Anyways, my whole life I didn't even know there's such a thing as premature ejaculation until a married friend of mine complained to me that her husband can't go for more than 2 minutes. That's when I realized that I'm a premature ejaculater too. When masturbating, I can only last for 1 minute. When I think of it I remember than I didn't use to be like this, and I've been training my whole life to ejaculate early. In my teenage years I would last around 5 minutes, but I always wanted to get to the orgasm faster. Another problem that I'm having is that I can't keep my erection after ejaculation anymore. I searched the web for a solution and found some sites. I've been doing the kegel exercise but I don't think it's helping me, it's even making things worse. I cannot purchase some of the methods that they sell either since we don't have credit cards here and because of the difference in currencies, even 20 usd would be too much for me.

I'm also having some other problems such as a lot of stress, and I think I'm getting depressed due to some other problems I'm having in my life. I did some blood tests around a year ago. The first test showed that I have an extreme iron deficiency, but when I repeated that test a couple of months later, everything was fine. I've gone for another test and I'll be getting the results in a couple of weeks. I don't smoke or drink and try to exercise regularly, go to a body building gym every other day for 2 hours.

Anyways, I'm desperately seeking help because I don't want to have this problem when I'm married and I don't want to lose the love of my life because of this problem. I'm terrified to death. Please help me.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, and thank you in advance for any suggestions.

 
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:10 AM   #2
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Re: Desperately need help with premature ejaculation

Sorry to hear about your situation. However, you should be able to get help. As a young male, your erections should be very firm. Premature ejaculation is a whole different issue all together.

I would go to by family Doc and ask to have a blood test to check out all your levels. It sounds as if you may have low T, or testosterone. If you research the topic, you will find that there is a near epidemic of low T in this country due to many meds, pollution, tainted water supply, processed foods, and exposure to chemicals. Are you on any meds? For example, blood pressure and anti depressants are notorious for causing sexual problems.

A routine blood test will determine if you have low T or not. If so, either your GP can treat you, or you can be referred to a Uro or Endo for speciality care. Low T can be resolved by a simple cream called "Androgel" that is rubbed on your arms and shoulders. The goal of T replacement (HRT for hormone replacement therapy) is to supplement to where you get back to the upper third of the general population for your age group. HRT is very safe when done correctly.

At your age, you should not be having these problems. Something is a miss. Additionally, some of the symptoms you describe are that of low T. T is critical for normal functioning, and helps regulate your blood pressure, prevents heart attacks, mood support, and guards against many cancers.

Re: premature ejaculation, you can delay things a bit by wearing a condom. This reduces sensitivity and thus, helps. Also, some have reported that masturbating before sex (earlier that day) helps. Since you're a virgin, you'll just have to feel your way through the process. You and your partner will learn how to please each other and there is far more to do than just intercourse. You are not alone in this as many men don't last that long. However, your bigger issue is the potential low T....Lack of erection strength, body weight loss, and depression....All tell tale signs of Low T. Your penis probably hasn't shrunk per se, but since you don't get the really firm erections any more, it probably appears to have gone down in size. HRT will restore all of this....And quickly. Go see your Doc...You'll be glad you did.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Ex

 
Old 07-12-2008, 10:55 AM   #3
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Re: Desperately need help with premature ejaculation

I'm not on any pills. I went to the doctor, and she said I don't have any signs of depression. She had me do these tests: FBS, Trigly, LDL, T3 Up., U.A, CBC, Urea, Creati., VLDL, T4, ESR 1h, Choles., HDL, T3 and TSH. Is the T test in any of those?

 
Old 07-12-2008, 02:24 PM   #4
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Re: Desperately need help with premature ejaculation

No. This array of tests is a pretty standard "health screening". The "T" tests are thyroid-related. TSH is "thyroid-stimulating hormone"... some of these are just indicators of whether there is an infectious or inflammatory process in your body.

none of the tests you mentioned in your list are testosterone. Testosterone tests are simply called that.

The cholesterol test, VLDL, HDL, and the FBS are worthwhile tests to be given to someone with erectile dysfunction because they are an indicator of the process of atherosclerosis in your body. FBS relates to, but is not the singular diagnostic indicator of, diabetes. Diabetes can cause ED.
Make sure you are fasting for 8 hours when you have the blood draw, or the result will be skewed on the FBS. The thyroid activity is also useful in showing the general metabolic condition of your body. A couple of tests tell your doctor if your kidneys are ok.

The previous poster is 100% right on the money with what he/she is telling you. You need to have a testosterone check in addition to the tests your doc has ordered. You need also to check the FREE testosterone level.

Many doctors do not actively treat ED or employ TRT....in fact, my own GP didn't have the foggiest idea. I had to tell him what I wanted....even though we were discussing ED at the time..... You need to find one who does and who is aware that the testosterone level cannot simply be somewhere in the low end of the "normal" range....as the other poster has quite correctly said.

Don't be afraid to ask the doctor what he/she BELIEVES and how he/she conducts his/her practice as regards these things. Remember that YOU ARE THE BOSS.... not the doctor. The doctor WORKS FOR YOU.

It is also "normal" to not keep your erection after orgasm after your teenage years. But you can still return to readiness, if these other factors are dealt with by TRT or other therapy, quite soon. This is the "refractory period" and for a young man, this is usually pretty short. You can go again and last longer the second time, most likely.

Quote:
I don't want to lose the love of my life because of this problem.
Well, the only thing I can say about that is this. If you DO lose the "love of your life" because of this problem, you may well thank God for it. Because any woman who is not in this with you to stay, and REGARDLESS if your penis works or not, is not worth giving your life to.

Last edited by tfkeel; 07-12-2008 at 02:33 PM.

 
Old 07-12-2008, 04:37 PM   #5
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Re: Desperately need help with premature ejaculation

It occurred to me later that I should mention to you to try IC with your GF on top. This is probably the preferred position for men who need to last longer. Gravity helps you, where if you are on top, it works against you.

If you must do it in missionary position, brace your feet. If the bed has no footboard, turn around so you can use the headboard. In this position, you are forced to maintain your position with your thigh muscles which inherently causes you to "push" against your prostate. This will decrease your time to orgasm.

This woman-on-top position also allows the woman to get more stimulation and to control where she receives it. You can also add some direct stimulation to her clitoris during intercourse which will help her to achieve her orgasm.

 
Old 07-19-2008, 11:42 PM   #6
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Re: Desperately need help with premature ejaculation

Well, I got the results from my bloodtest, everything was normal. I'm going to tell the doc about the T test.

I've been doing the kegel exercises and I can almost stop myself (hold it in) from ejaculating. Is that good? Am I on the right track? Should I continue on doing the exercises? Also, is there a guide to other exercises that will be helpful?

Executor mentioned ways to please other than intercourse, how?

TY guys for all your help.

 
Old 07-20-2008, 08:47 AM   #7
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Re: Desperately need help with premature ejaculation

Hello....What were your results? Many times Docs make errors in reading them, especially if they don't know about low T. Did they test your free T or total T? What were the actual numbers?

When I mentioned there were other ways / things to do, I was referring to oral and manual stimulation....And of course, lots of hugging, snuggling, and general foreplay.

Ex

Last edited by Executor; 07-20-2008 at 08:49 AM.

 
Old 07-20-2008, 01:18 PM   #8
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Re: Desperately need help with premature ejaculation

You should check out the Men's Health forum. There are many discussions of hormonal imbalances, and how to test for them. Six months is enough time to discover and correct any imbalance you might find. There is a great education on the endocrine system there, if you are patient enough to read through many of the posts. This will correct any problem with erections, or lack of drive.
You don't need to purchase anything, to learn to ejaculate more slowly.
Take your time while masturbating. Let the feeling build up, but stop before an ejaculation is inevitable. This way, you get to know your body. Do it several times, before you allow yourself to ejaculate, each time you masturbate. As you learn how your body reacts to stimulation, you can learn to change your reactions. Then, during intercourse, you can back off before ejaculating, by changing positions, slowing your thrusts, etc, and last as long as you want.
That being said, my wife and I prefer that she get her pleasure first, and then I ejaculate within three to five minutes, however long I can hold out. Experience will teach you what is most pleasurable to you and your mate. Good luck, and I hope this information allows you to relax and enjoy life more.
23 is too young to allow your pleasure to be robbed by worrying.

 
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